My parents were always strict, not that I complained really. I couldn't date until I was 18 & graduated from high school. They did allow me to go to my senior prom though. That was my first date!
My parents and I never really talked about it. I went by myself to Homecoming freshman year, so I guess my first technical date was for prom that year (at our small school, all students went to prom, or there'd only be 30 people there.) I went with a guy from my physical science class, and it was really awkward. We never spoke before the date, or after. That summer I had my first boyfriend while at a summer program, and then I dated other guys during high school. It never really occurred to me to ask my parents first, I just started dating. (By dating, I mean short-term relationships, and holding hands and stuff.) I guess I was 14. I didn't have a serious boyfriend until I was in college, though I probably would have told you all of my boyfriends were serious...
I'm not sure. I started dating at 16, but that was because it took me that long to find a date. Had I found one sooner, I guess they would have let me go.
It was never discussed as I never had someone to go on a date with until immediately after high school.
It was never something my parents and I discussed either. I remember going to a school dance with a boy in 6th grade where we were dropped off and didn't see our parents until after the dance was over. The first time I went out with a guy that actually picked me up in his own car was when I was 14 (freshman) and he was 16 (junior). Again, I don't remember discussing it with my parents, just a hey can I do this type of thing.
Freshman year, so 13, although at that age, all dates were group dates anyway.. so allowed at 13, but probably actually occurred at 15.
Interesting that you didn't talk about it with your parents. I'm not even going to ask when they first talked to you about sex! When I was 14 & in 9th grade, there was a (HS) junior I liked. He was ONLY allowed to come over the house. We couldn't go out anywhere. He didn't have a car anyway, but probably could have borrowed it from his parents. I remember when he wanted me to go to his prom, but of course I couldn't go. It was out of the question...I didn't even ask my parents. Regarding the sex talk, they taught us when I was in 6th grade once we got our parents' signed permission. My mom & I didn't really talk about sex even once I could date. She knew she could trust me to not do anything she wouldn't approve of. My dad never got involved in this issue.
My parents were always very open with me about issues related to sex. I had older siblings who were 10 and 12 years older than me, and I also picked up some things from them. It was never really awkward with sex, and when I became sexually active, in a committed relationship in college, I asked my mom about going on the pill so she could schedule an appointment when I came home. When I was a junior in high school, I went on a church-based sex ed retreat that really presented a balanced view (secular and sacred, biological, emotional, and spiritual) about sex.
The school did a presentation when I was in the 4th or 5th grade, where the boys went into one room and the girls in the other, and they showed us a video that talked about our own genders' changing bodies. Us girls received some sample pads. After I came home from that, my mom and I had the sex talk.
You seem a little surprised by the lack of conversation but you didn't discuss sex with your parents either. My parents never said anything to me about sex, I don't think. Thank goodness!
Freshman 14 dated a senior 17. I grew up around farm animals so I knew about sex at an early age. 5th grade was my first sit down sex talk.
Hmm... I guess "group dates" started in middle school. Pick-me-up-in-a-car started at 16. Except we were too embarrassed to tell our parents it was a date, because we'd been friends a long time, so we both implied other people would be around. Then his truck broke down. And his parents had to come rescue us. At a deserted beach. We never lived that one down :lol: As for the sex talk, we had the body-changing presentation in 5th grade. I think my mom and I had it when I got my period in 7th grade. It was mildly awkward.
16. And even then, only double dates. Single dates were permitted at 18, when my parents no longer had any say.
I was also a freshman in high school. There was also not really any conversation with my parents-I said "can I go?" and they said "sure". I think maybe they were glad someone was interested-they always worried I wasn't social enough. He took me to see Robocop at a $1.00 theater---very romantic!
It never really came up. From the time I was 15 I went out with groups of friends quite regularly. Even the couples were mostly always group dates. We'd all hang around at each other's houses. I'm in a very small town. Everybody knows everybody anyway. Might have been different if my parents didn't know who I was hanging around with. My first one-on-one date was my junior prom. We went to the dance and the all night after party. I was 16 and had my own car, so I drove because my date was 15. I was living on my own and going to college at 17. It was a non-issue then.
I never had any sort of limitation on when I could date, no magic age or anything. I started dating my first boyfriend when I was 15. He was several years older than me. We dated for three years.
When I said that first sentence, we were still talking about dating that the first few posters said they never really talked about w/ their parents. Then, I brought up about sex in my 2nd post (#8).
I did not discus this issue with my parents. I understood when it is appropriate time for me to date.
I started dating when I was in grade 12. It was pretty casual. I didn't have a set age where I was allowed to start dating. I communicated well with my parents and they trusted me, so when I was interested in this guy in high school they let us go out together.
I had to wait until I was 16. I was asked out on a date a couple weeks before, but my dad wouldn't let me go until after my birthday.
I didn't really have a lot of guidelines. I preferred to stick my nose in a book, so maybe that was why. I don't remember a specific sex talk, either, but I was always told to tell her and she'd put me on the pill. That had to have been pretty early though because I was on the pill at 15 or 16 due to really heavy periods. I have no desire to talk about sex with my mom- even now! I tell her I am still a virgin. She doesn't believe me, but she drops it :lol: My sister was the social butterfly. She didn't have when she could date guidelines, but at 14 she was dating a 17 year old and my mom was LIVID. Restraining order, talked to police about pressing charges, etc... My sister is still with him, they are married, and a baby (girl) is on the way. My mom is laughing. (No one cares for him still for many reasons.)
I think my official guideline was 16, but really I started dating pretty much right when high school started at 14. I wasn't the most obedient teen! :lol: My mom also never really talked to me about dating or sex. I wish I had someone who was there to help guide me! Being a teen is hard enough without having to figure it all out by yourself. I'd never let my future, hypothetical kids go without those talks.
Ms.I, my parents seem similar to yours! Dating was never really a subject in my family, but I knew I wasn't supposed to at least until I graduated. I started dating pretty late because I went to a women's college anyways. I didn't have a date for prom, I just went with friends. I'm confused why it's awkward for someone's first date to be their senior prom...
orangetea, you're so right, the first date being prom night doesn't have to be awkward...perhaps for czacza, not me! For me, it was THE PERFECT date! My date was the pastor's son at my church who I had a crush on for a few years from afar. I thought he was so good-looking. We never really talked much up until the prom/1st date...just pleasantries, but he was a nice guy. We also went to different high schools, so it was nice to bring this good-looking stranger around my usual friends. I wasn't nervous at all either. It was fabulous, we had a limo, & I was so proud of our prom picture. It couldn't have turned out better! I loved my dress & we both looked hot together!
As for "the talk," I never had an official talk, but my mom kept me informed from a young age with info that I could handle at that age; she added details over the years depending on my questions or what my friends were saying (my mom and I have a WONDERFUL mother/daughter relationship). I was probably 14 when she told me how everything really worked. I wasn't embarrassed, but I found the idea pretty disgusting. There was no way I was ever going to do ANY of that! haha. All of my friends had their first time in high school; I was in college.
Waaaaay too young - 15. I encouraged my own daughter to do the "group" thing while in high school. She did get asked to prom her senior year and even that was mostly a group activity. She had lots of guy friends, more group "dating" in college, then suddenly got engaged to her best guy friend! After a couple years of marriage, she declares it was a good plan.
I honestly don't know when my mom and I had "the talk". She was always pretty open and age appropriate honest about things. Her philosophy was "If they are asking questions, they are ready for the truth." I do remember sitting on her bed one day while she explained the logistics of the act and being simultaneously confused and grossed out. In high school (married living class) is when I first learned about BC.
ku~you're relationship with your mom reminds me of mine with my mom. We were always very open with each other. I'm the same way with my own daughter. One of her adult cousins is pregnant and we rode in the car with her for a couple of hours yesterday. She's very blunt so my daughter learned a few new things! Which I'm fine with because I'd rather she hear it from me then friends that don't know exactly what goes on.
I was allowed to date at 16. My mom never talked to me about sex. I had the school presentation at school....kinda weird to have a Catholic priest tell us about sex. I had the same guidelines for my children, but I talked to them about sex.
My mom had the "talk" with me when I was 9, lol. In her words, she wanted me to get real information from her before hearing things from kids in the locker room. We had a little book that explained everything and she went through it with me. She also talked with me after the school talk we had in 5th and 6th grade. However, being from a very religious household, the expectation was no sex before marriage, so even now I'm not even able to talk about "real" things with her. She always made it clear that I could ask any question I wanted, but I obviously couldn't talk about any real situations. I never dated in high school. I was painfully shy and the group of friends I had were all girls. I started working as a lifeguard my junior year and it took me about a year to open up (lol) but I really think that's what really got me out of my shell as far as talking to boys. We had a smaller staff and we spent a lot of time together. The first guy I dated was from there and we started dating the summer after graduation. As far as "rules" I think for my parents it was more about the person rather than my age. Theoretically if I had asked to date a nice boy from church that they knew I think they would have been totally ok with that. A non-religious guy from school, not so much. By the time I finally did start dating I think they were just so happy that I was finally talking to boys that they didn't care, haha.
Catholic high school. The class was senior religion. We covered just about everything from setting a budget to, well, different kinds of BC.
Well...how's this for pathetic? I was 23 years-old before I went on my first date. Being raised a Jehovah's Witness, casual dating didn't happen. There was courting when you were actively looking for a spouse. Well, there was no way in hell I was serious about anyone in our congregation. At 19 when we stopped attending, I didn't trust anybody, much less men (sister was going through a nasty divorce). So, at 23 a person I had classes with set me up on a blind date with the hubs. Beth
