At Least They Let Me Know

Discussion in 'Job Seekers' started by DressageLady, Aug 6, 2013.

  1. DressageLady

    DressageLady Comrade

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    Aug 6, 2013

    I had such an awesome interview yesterday, I was feeling pretty positive. But when I hadn't heard anything by noon today, I kind of knew they had decided on someone else. And I did receive a call later this afternoon, letting me know that it went to someone else.

    It actually did go to my former classmate that was waiting to interview after me yesterday. After I got my call, I checked her Facebook page and it was announced in big, uppercase letters that she was the new first grade teacher at SuchandSuch Elementary. I am so depressed that I didn't get it, but at least it went to someone who is deserving of it. She will be a good teacher. We were study buddies through two semesters of methods classes.

    I just don't have the stomach for this. I got discouraged, then encouraged and now I feel worse than I did before. These interviews are like emotional roller coasters. I prepare and then go in there and work so hard to showcase what a good fit I would be. One day I am describing how well I would fit in a school that has a hands off policy with their teachers and then I go and interview the next day for a non-teaching job where I swear that not being a teacher is no big deal and they can count on me to not leave the second a teaching job is offered and three days after that I am in another interview describing how easily I would fit into a school culture where the principal micromanages everything.

    What the heck? This is the craziest process I have ever been a part of. It makes no sense. I asked the P who notified me this afternoon that they had decided "to hire someone else" if there was anything in my resume or my interview that I could do differently in the future and she told me nothing. I have a strong resume, I had a great interview and I was highly qualified. But that didn't make any difference because "they just decided to go in a different direction".

    That is basically like being told, "Gee, you did your best and your best just wasn't good enough". I feel like such a failure and such a disappointment to my family. My children were so proud, and excited for me. Now they change the subject when employment comes up.

    And the saddest thing is that I am just grateful that the P actually called to tell me it was a NO. Otherwise I would have been sitting here playing that stupid, "Well, maybe they lost my phone number and need to call district HR to get it and that is why..." game. You know, the hundred and one reasons why it has been two weeks and you still haven't heard anything game.
    Sheilah
     
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  3. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Aug 6, 2013

    Many mental hugs to you. Sometimes there is no tangible explanation for why one candidate is chosen over the other.
     
  4. schoolteacher

    schoolteacher Habitué

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    Aug 6, 2013

    Sheilah, I'm so sorry to hear this. I know how discouraging this is.

    It is unusual to get any notice when they don't choose you for the job. It sounds like you were a great candidate. The fact that you can feel good for the person who did get the job says a lot about you.

    Your children were proud and excited for you. Now they get to see firsthand how a person who experiences a big disappointment handles it. You know they are going to go through their own disappointments in life. What will you tell them when they do?

    Because those are the things you need to tell yourself. More than words, though, they are looking to see what you will do. Your gratitude that the principal contacted you and your well wishes towards the person who got the job are something that your children will remember when they get older and look back on this time.
     
  5. Kangaroo22

    Kangaroo22 Virtuoso

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    Aug 6, 2013

    So sorry to hear that you didn't get the job :hugs:.
     
  6. bridgetbordeaux

    bridgetbordeaux Companion

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    Aug 6, 2013

    I did 2 long term subs for a school last year. I worked as a para the year before that, same school. I thought for sure she would hire me this year. But she hired someone with the same amount of experience as me. And when I asked why I was not hired, she said, no specific reason, some people just fit better than others. So I know how you feel. It does suck but hopefully the right job is out there, for both of us.
     
  7. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    Aug 6, 2013

    I've been through hiring before, and sometimes when 2 candidates are so close it really does come down to just a gut feeling. It's nothing you did or didn't do. I know you know this, and it's hard to hear, but you have to hold your head high and remember that one day, someone's gut will lead them to you. We're here for you!
     
  8. DressageLady

    DressageLady Comrade

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    Aug 6, 2013

    At least nobody saw me crying. I couldn't sit still at home, so I grabbed my phone and took a ride. I actually was heading home when I got the call telling me their decision. LOL, the P didn't really have to say anything because I could tell it wasn't good for me just by the tone of her voice.

    So I just sat there in a parking lot for a while. I checked my friend's Facebook page, posted a quick congratulations to her and then just sat there and cried. This just stinks.

    I believed my professors when they told us to study each school we interview for. I do that! I study their boundary demographics and check their on-line pictures out to get a feel for how to dress. And then I restudy all the pertinent grade level standards and I pull out specific student work samples for that grade if I have any. I basically talk myself into believing what an excellent choice I would be for that position, so I can go in there and talk them into believing it, too. And then I have to turn that off all of the sudden. It is this crazy, emotional roller coaster that screams up and then just flies down. Over and over again. Each position submission I make is like this, and the ones where I get an interview are even worse. Because I go in there and just dance as fast as I can, trying to prove how wonderful I am in this brief amount of time, and no matter how hard I try, it just doesn't seem to be enough of...something.

    I want my sons to believe that hard work pays off. They have certainly seen me work hard to finish my degree. I don't want them to learn from this that a person can work as hard as I did, do as well as I did, and still end up with nothing to show for it. That wasn't the lesson I set out to teach them, but it seems to be the one they are learning.

    I am whining, and I know it. I apologize. It is unattractive and does no good. But I am honestly so discouraged now that I couldn't put a happy face on this if I wanted to.
    Sheilah
     
  9. Pi-R-Squared

    Pi-R-Squared Connoisseur

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    Aug 6, 2013

    I'm so sorry! :( BIG HUGS!!! :hugs:
     
  10. Rainbowbird

    Rainbowbird Groupie

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    Aug 6, 2013

    I'm so sorry, Sheilah. I know exactly how you feel, every step of the way, from sending in your materials to researching the schools, picking out your outfit, going over your answers, etc.

    Psyching yourself up and convincing yourself and them how great you are. Then...trying not to get your hopes up even as you go over the interview in your mind, esp. if it went well and you felt the "connection".

    Only to be let down.

    Like you, I feel I can't keep doing this and going through it. Like you, I don't enjoy having my children see me get rejected over and over again. Yes, it can be a good learning experience, but I think I've gone through it enough times.

    I applied at a district 40 minutes away tonight, and am highly doubtful if I really want it ( too far away, schedule doesn't really work with family schedule, upper elementary instead of lower or intermediate) but I thought, can't be picky. Have to admit I am having a hard time getting psyched about a possible interview. I'm approaching burnout, I believe.

    Anyway, I totally feel your pain. It sounds like you did an amazing job and there is no real reason why you didn't get it. I know it doesn't help to be told there were tons of qualified applicants. YOU'RE one of them! I hope that a good night's sleep brings you some peace and renewed spirit in the morning. I was in a funk all day, but feel so much better tonight. I guess because I am looking at other options and feeling like I can't let this profession ruin my daily mood. Hang in there. You have been looking just this one season, right? So your degree is relatively new. I think you could well be one of the lucky ones if you are able to hang in there a little longer. :hugs:
     
  11. DressageLady

    DressageLady Comrade

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    Aug 6, 2013

    Thanks, Rainbowbird. :hugs:

    Yes, this is my first experience with the "hiring season". I never expected to be the first one hired, or thought it would be easy. What I did think was that my hard work and success in the education department, along with many years of great, related experience, would make me a successful applicant. I mean, the three largest districts in my state are all right here within driving distance. And there were three other smaller districts within driving distance as well. I applied to all of them, along with all the charter schools.

    I had excellent grades, I excelled during my student teaching and have fantastic references. I did have the one district screening interviewer tell me that I was basically undesirable as a first year teacher because of my age, but other than that, I felt like I was in a pretty good place. I worked extra hard to get a literacy endorsement from the state, which most of my fellow students passed on. I am not hideous to look at, but I am not pretty enough to be threatening. I am enthusiastic about teaching and I interview well. I am polite and funny.

    I believed my mentor teachers when they told me that I had done everything right and I would be one of the teachers hired, somewhere in the Treasure Valley, this hiring season. I figured it would be hard, but I did the extra work and prepared well. Surely that would count for enough.

    Now that my friend got hied, I am really and truly the last of my cohort to be left without a teaching position. I am emotionally and mentally unprepared for this.
    Sheilah
     
  12. Rainbowbird

    Rainbowbird Groupie

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    Aug 7, 2013

    I have no doubt that you are the ideal candidate. No doubt at all! I think many of us on this board are, and it's a bit shocking to realize that we're in a profession that is going to leave many, many highly qualified people unemployed. When you're good and you know it, it's a huge blow to receive rejections. But it's not you. There are schools out there who would value an older candidate. It is a matter of right time, right place, and it stinks that usually takes so long these days to get a job. The market has made administrators picky to the nth degree, to the point that it borders on the ridiculous at times. And where they are splitting hairs to make decisions, because there are so many good candidates. It's NOT you. :hugs:
     
  13. Beverly

    Beverly Comrade

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    Aug 7, 2013

    I'm really sorry to hear that. I just went through the same thing- best interview of my life, great fit, and still lost it to someone else. It is hard when you have family members popping up out of the woodwork with what they think are career tips. (It's sweet but so frustrating). The emotional rollercoaster is awful!
     
  14. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    Aug 7, 2013

    Huge :hugs:. I'm so sorry :(
     
  15. panjteacher

    panjteacher Rookie

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    Aug 7, 2013

    I am sending you positive vibes for your next interview.

    Your reactions and posts are identical to mine and I feel what you are feeling. My parents live close and my mother regularly calls (every day or so) to see how my son is and how my job search is going and I have been doing this for approx 3 years. Sometimes I don't even want to tell her or my wife when I get a call for an interview because I feel I have to accept feelings or comments from them wishing me well and I am really over being gracious about it. This is especially a kick in the rear end when I don't get a call or letter and I have to say "Well, I guess by now they picked somebody else."
    This really is amplified when my wife comes home from her real career job and she wants to feel bad for me. I love her and I would not be in a house or eating or paying bills at this point without her and I feel like I am a great burden or like having another kid to support.

    I just hope we all get jobs.
     
  16. Rainbowbird

    Rainbowbird Groupie

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    Awww...don't feel that way. You are no doubt contributing in very positive ways to your family. I know that as useful as a second income would be, having me home has definitely made life easier in so many ways for our family. In fact I have had mixed feelings about going back to full-time teaching for this reason. Not all work is paid work. You will find something eventually!!!!
     
  17. TeachTN

    TeachTN Comrade

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    Aug 7, 2013

    I fully understand your heartbreak and frustration when you feel that you are THE perfect candidate, but still do not receive the position. Been there, done that, and I am right where you are now. I am in my second hiring season and have had over 25 interviews with no position to show for it. I thought my age would be a help, combined with my expressed interest to be molded as they see fit (as any person without experience would require), but still nothing.

    I have cried, hit my stash of chocolate, and now need to make sure to have some ice cream in the house in case I am rejected yet again this week. I am convinced that there is a perfect position for us out there. Sometimes the school is looking for a particular personality and we just do not demonstrate that one trait in our interviews. We cannot be mind readers though to know what exactly it is. I have yet another interview today, but sense that I am the "filler" person in order to meet the requirements to interview X number of people for the position. I hope to be offered the position of course and will spend lots of time researching math CCSS standards if chosen. :)

    It is incredibly tough to do, but we need to keep our heads up and keep going.
     
  18. DressageLady

    DressageLady Comrade

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    Aug 7, 2013

    Good luck, TeachTN!
    Sheilah
     

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