Are you friends with any coworkers outside of school?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Pisces_Fish, Sep 29, 2013.

  1. Pisces_Fish

    Pisces_Fish Fanatic

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    Sep 29, 2013

    My school is a very friendly place to be. We're large, so often we don't know who's who yet (lots of staff changes this year) but it's the kind of place where everyone is smiling, helping each other out, etc. It's awesome!

    Anyway, there's an upper-grades teacher in my building who I have known for a year. I rarely see her because she's on the opposite side of the building and frankly, we teach different worlds (2nd, 5th.) I want to get to know her outside of school. She is one of the kindest, most compassionate, hardest working people I have ever met.

    But I can't help but feel...weird. :unsure: I don't know if she's one of those people that likes to keep school at school. I don't want to put anyone in an awkward position. Making and keeping friends has always been a struggle for me. It's hard to explain, but asking her to hang out after work one day kinda feels like a kid on the playground sheepishly asking a classmate to "be my friend?" Maybe I'm just over-analyzing :(
     
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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Just tell her you miss seeing her around and ask if she wants to get a cup of coffee after work one day.
     
  4. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I understand. 100%. Maybe you are thinking too much, but I'd do the same. ;)

    Can you friend her on FB first? Baby steps. Haha.
     
  5. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I have a Christmas party every year in early December-- one of those gift exchange things for my sisters and girlfriends.

    A number of my work friends are regulars there.
     
  6. nyteacher29

    nyteacher29 Comrade

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    I agree with czacza, invite her for a cup of coffee! I've become close to a few colleagues and we will do things on the weekend or after work
     
  7. knitter63

    knitter63 Groupie

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    One of my best friends is a co-worker. We not only support each other in the work place, but we support each other in our personal lives. I think it is a bonus to be able to see her every day!
    I agree with czacza...have coffee, or stop in her room in the morning to say hello and that you've missed her! She may be feeling the same way.
     
  8. HistoryVA

    HistoryVA Devotee

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    I'm friends with 2 of the 15 teachers in my department outside of school. 1 in a "occasional coffee outside of work, 2-3 meetups during summer" kind of way and 1 in a "I'm parked on his couch with his baby and wife once a week" kind of way. :p

    The second I've been close to for years because we've been together since teacher training and his wife quickly because one of my best friends. Thank goodness she liked me since I was calling her husband almost every night over these classes we were taking together. :D

    But yes, ask her for coffee! I've certainly never said no to a friendly offer to hang out.
     
  9. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Okay, have to ask. I hear about "having coffee" a lot here. I've never known of anyone meeting for coffee in real life except for a group of old men who have coffee at a burger place every morning. I really don't think anyone else would meet at Hardees for coffee, but maybe I'm wrong...? Is it because we don't an actual coffee shop in the county that I've never known people to meet for coffee? (And I know the advice is general and that it doesn't have to be coffee, but I just hear that so much. Of course, people can't meet for drinks here, either.)
     
  10. Ted

    Ted Habitué

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    Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

    If she is, as you say, one of the "kindest" people you have ever met, then I really doubt she'd turn down an offer to a coffee.

    Or does your school do buddies? It seems like a 2nd grade/5th grade buddy combo would be perfect. Maybe ask her if she'd like to be a buddy class (even if your school does NOT do buddies...) that would also break the ice. :)

    But if you feel drawn to her as a friend, then I would say go for it.

    Friends are sometimes in short supply.

    You're not asking to be her BFF; just a cup of coffee. ;) Maybe she feels the same way about you and right now is also shy to ask.

    I hope things work out. :)

    And to JustMe - I think the "coffee" thing goes back to "let's break bread together". When two or more sit down for a meal, snack, etc...there's a certain communal feeling. We say "coffee", but it could easily be: "Would you like to go grab a sandwich sometime?" or "There's a new bakery opening up. Care to go check it out with me?" Really an excuse to get to know somebody better, or even just hang out from the hustle and bustle (I do this even with very dear friends whom I have known for years).
     
  11. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Ted, okay...food I understand. ;)
     
  12. HistoryVA

    HistoryVA Devotee

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    We have a Starbucks every 3 blocks around here. :p I meet people for coffee at least a few times a month. We also meet at Starbucks during the summer to set up planning calenders for the year, exchange ideas, etc.
     
  13. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I just looked up Starbucks locations on their website...the map is pretty sad looking around here. Haha. I'd have to drive a long way to get to a Starbucks store. Anyway, sorry...didn't mean to get off topic. :)
     
  14. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    One of my best friends is a coworker. She was new to my school a year after I was. We are a small staff, and at that time we were the only teachers without children. We started talking after school (mostly about school stuff), and then we started going on walks after school (especially on days when we had evening events and didn't want to go home and come back). That led to us discovering a shared love of hiking, and our friendship grew from there. Yesterday, we went bridesmaid dress shopping for my wedding next summer. :)
     
  15. HistTchr

    HistTchr Habitué

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    I'm close friends with a lot of people at work. We have a great group (maybe 10-15 people) that get together regularly for dinner or to go over to each others' houses. Some of my best friends are the people I work with.
     
  16. Ted

    Ted Habitué

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    ROFL! I'm Italian... if I didn't understand food, I'd be kicked out of my culture! ;)
     
  17. Ted

    Ted Habitué

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    LOL... you should contact Starbucks. Maybe you will win some type of award for NOT having a Starbucks within walking distance. ;)
     
  18. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I'm good friends with 5 of the people I work with. We get together for coffee, dinner, and the occasional "Wine and Whine" session at someone's house after work on a Friday. Three of us are in the midst of trying to plan a girls' weekend of outlet shopping.
     
  19. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Throughout the years, I've done things with a couple of people outside of work. They aren't close friends, but more than just aquaintances. If there's someone I'd like to be better friends with, I usually say, maybe we can meet for lunch sometime and see how the person responds. Some say yeah, sounds great, but have no intention of actually doing it. A few actually do follow through.

    Always remember, if a person really wants to do something, he/she will do it. You shouldn't have to "beg" them...I'm not saying you'll even come close to that, but I usually will initiate something to someone twice & if they still don't initiate it to me from their end, I leave them alone.
     
  20. kellzy

    kellzy Comrade

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    Sure am. It makes the work day much more fun.
     
  21. sevenplus

    sevenplus Connoisseur

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    Yes! My three closest friends were colleagues first (and still are). I love that I work with them and we share life outside of school together, too. There are at least 5 other teachers at my school that I also see socially from time to time or call to chat with. These relationships have developed over time as most of us have been at the same school for over 15 years.
     
  22. sue35

    sue35 Habitué

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    One of my best friends is my coworker and was my partner teacher. I think we started being friends by going out to coffee. Do you have a shortened day coming up? You could see if she wants to grab lunch
     
  23. yellowdaisies

    yellowdaisies Fanatic

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    I'm facebook friends with several of my coworkers. I talk to and hang out with one of my coworkers (different grade level). We text quite often, too. We're planning on going to Disneyland with a third coworker soon. It's nice to have those friendships - they "get" a huge part of my life (teaching!!!) that my other friends, even my very close friends, just aren't able to understand fully.

    I agree with the food ideas! Asking someone to go get coffee, frozen yogurt, lunch, etc is very low pressure.
     
  24. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Today we're burying a close friend and coworker.

    For a lot of us, yesterday's wake wasn't about "respect", it was about a gut wrenching loss.

    And those of us who were close to Alicia will be there to support each other. We're a pretty tight bunch.

    We're a faculty of about 130 teachers, so there are lots of different little groups. (I would say "cliques" but that kind of suggests exclusion, and that's not how it is.) But I think that each of us has been able to find a group of other teachers with whom we have a lot in common, a group with which we choose to spend time outside of school.

    Oh, and a number of teachers on our faculty have married each other; I can name 3 couples off the top of my head (and may have left one or two off.)
     
  25. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    I remember back when the closest Starbucks to me was in NYC and I am almost 2 hours away from there. Now they are all over the place and we got some other weird ones competing with them (One called Bad A$$ Coffee no joke)! JustMe will probably have too many to count in her town in 5 years LOL
     
  26. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    To answer the OP's question I would find out what her interests are (if you don't already know). A co-worker of mine mentioned some things she did in my town sometimes and I said Me TOO! So one day after school we met up. It could be anything though on a Saturday or whatever even just going to the park with your dogs.
     

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