Anything you can do, I can do it better!!!

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by Em_Catz, Mar 10, 2013.

  1. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    Mar 10, 2013

    Anything you can do, I can do better!!!

    Has anyone ever had a coworker like this and if so, how did you deal with him/her?

    One of our teammates is very intense, does not appear to have much of a life away from school, is obsessed with the curriculum, sucks up to the P, is bossy, nosy, aggressive and...just...TOO MUCH 99% of the time.

    She rarely shares interesting lessons, projects, or ideas she has for her class, but expects everyone else to share with her. Instead, she'll do something really cool in her class that we know nothing about until the P compliments her during our morning meeting. :eek:hmy:

    She does NOT have a position of authority, but tries to act like she's our boss. Whenever we have a team project, she attempts to micromanage even though our team is competent and gets our work done and done well without her input.

    She sends out at least 3 - 4 emails PER NIGHT during the week and 1 or 2 during the weekend about school. She gets angry because normally no one responds until the next day, or sometimes not at all. It seems mean, but we're all like, "LOOK WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER ALL DAY/WEEK AND GIVEN 110% ALL DAY/WEEK. We need to breathe and you should too."

    She even emails us during the summer. I don't mean a couple (short) emails because something brillant has struck her like how to get every child to understand regrouping subtraction word problems. Nope. She'll send a 10 page document about homework and expect detailed feedback.

    She makes everyone uncomfortable, including the administrators. On the rare occasion she takes off work it's a relief and everyone feels more calm, relaxed and honestly the day goes by faster and more smoothly.

    I understand having a passion for teaching. It's a truly rewarding career and I enjoy getting up for work almost everyday and planning projects, field trips and meaty lessons for my kids.

    But teaching is not EVERYTHING to me. I have to have a life away from school or else I'll get burnt out. I've talked to other seasoned teachers that have made it 30+ years and that's what they said helped them keep their sanity. Having a life outside of work and stepping back
     
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  3. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Mar 10, 2013

    We don't have a teacher like that on our team, thank goodness. We do have one that is a bit passive aggressive at times. I think your best bet it continue on as always. You don't have to resnd to every email. But i would try to just keep the peace because at the end of the day you all still need to work together.
     
  4. Curiouscat

    Curiouscat Comrade

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    Mar 10, 2013

    That is rough! I once worked with a lady that had to outdo everyone even when it came to medical issues. For example, if you stated you had a headache she would explain how much worse it was for her because she had brain cancer. If you joked about not making it to the end of the year because your class was losing it, she would talk about how the doctor said she would be lucky to be alive in June because she has blah, blah, blah.
    My only advice is to not get sucked in because it will only hurt you. Stay strong!!!
     
  5. Marylander

    Marylander Rookie

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    Wow, you and your faculty certainly have their hands full! Yes, I've worked with some intense teachers during my career, but none who perfectly matched this one. It sounds like she's very insecure and that insecurity fuels her actions. I would say to continue doing what you're doing. She has an inordinate need for attention, and you are under absolutely no obligation to give it to her. It's for your own sanity and peace of mind!

    Currently I'm teaching with a person who needs to be first in everything and loved by everyone. She's exhausting. I'm cordial to her, but I never initiate contact other than the friendly hello, etc. I also taught with someone who NEVER shared a thing but expected that lessons and great ideas be given to her because it was the professional thing to do. She was a loudmouth who needed to be heard. There was little love lost between the two of us, but I stayed professional and true to my personal beliefs. Boy, did tables turn when by circumstance her daughter ended up in my classroom. I later worked with a woman whose entire life was school. She copyrighted anything she made and never shared so much as a thought with anyone.

    I often wonder why people like that go into teaching. I have my theories, and I've also learned that it's best for me to just do my own thing and not get involved in someone else's neurosis! Good luck.
     
  6. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Mar 10, 2013

    In spite of the many challenges I've faced along the way, I am pleased to say that I've never worked with anyone quite like this. I feel for you, though.

    Honestly, if she doesn't have any authority over you and your actions, don't give her any. She doesn't get to dictate when you check your emails or what lessons you share with her. When she emails, read them at your convenience and respond with things like "Thank you, I'll look into this". The only thing you owe her is professional courtesy.
     
  7. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

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    Mar 10, 2013

    My teammate my very first year of teaching was somewhat like that.... only she did manage to have a life outside of school. She had two more years of experience than I did (which was a lot in our school of mostly brand new, first-year teachers). She walked around as if she had been placed on a pedestal, and the administrators treated her as such. I really got along with her very well most of the time (both in and out of school), but there were a few occasions on which I just couldn't take it anymore. While she was without question helpful to me, I was doing a good job as a first-year teacher, and she was being given credit for it by our administration.

    Because she and I were close, I was able to talk to her directly and ask her to give me room to show my strengths as an educator rather than micromanaging things in my classroom. I told her that I appreciated her support and ideas but that I wanted to have a chance to try some things on my own. Things got better after that conversation, and they got even better the second year when she changed grade-levels and I was assigned a new teammate. Unfortunately, our friendship fizzled out when were no longer teammates working next door to each other.
     
  8. Tek

    Tek Comrade

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    Mar 10, 2013

    Sorry to hear, Emz. Luckily, there's no one overbearing that I know who works with me.

    I agree that if she doesn't have authority over you then that the only thing you owe her is professional courtesy. I wonder how her students feel about her. I'm sure she is a great student but too much of anything is not healthy
     
  9. readingrules12

    readingrules12 Aficionado

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    Mar 10, 2013

    :agreed:
     
  10. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Mar 10, 2013

    Sounds annoying.

    I'd limit my responses to 'Thanks for telling me" and emails similar to what Caesar suggested above. Then I'd limit my sharing to your other colleagues.
     
  11. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Mar 10, 2013

    And that does not extend to sharing your work and lesson plans!
     
  12. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Mar 10, 2013

    Yup.
     
  13. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    Thanks for all the advice guys. This situation stinks and you're right...professional courtesy is all I'll give this leech. I'm happy she likes to be the brightest star in the sky, but I won't let myself feel burned by her light. I guess I'll just keep doing a good job and making sure I'm on top of things.
     
  14. chebrutta

    chebrutta Enthusiast

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    Yup. Been there, sometimes still there, actually. I just make it clear that my job description does not include bowing down to that person's orders or demands. I have had to go to my admin over several situations, and they've been very understanding and supportive. Working together and collegiality has turned out to not be an option. Very sad.
     
  15. Toast

    Toast Companion

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    Mar 14, 2013

    lol. Sounds like a young teacher who doesn't have any children. :) Remember, it is only a competition if more than one person participates.

    If she is that obsessed and driven, she will probably get bored and move on to either a different grade, school or position eventually.

    Keep your chin up and be professional.
     
  16. PinkCupcake

    PinkCupcake Cohort

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    Mar 16, 2013

    I'm a young teacher with no children of my own, and I can tell you I'm the complete opposite of the teacher being described. Sadly I think some people no matter what their career or age are just so uptight and difficult to work with. Just my :2cents:
     
  17. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    She's in her mid 30s, no boyfriend, but she has friends and family members in the area. I think that school is her life. She began teaching straight out of college, so she's not new to the field. I guess it's just her personality. For me, I can't see being this obsessed with school. If I had no life away from school, I would probably just watch a lot of t.v., workout, window shop on the internet, and sleep/nap. Maybe get a dog. LoL.
     
  18. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

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    Mar 23, 2013

    I have never worked with a teacher like the one you describe. Spread some of those traits around, and you describe a number of people I have either worked with at school or a parent of a student (actually more than a few). One of my coworkers at my part time job is always trying to outdo others in terms of sales numbers, tries to kiss up when it will benefit her, avoids doing tasks she doesn't like, etc. The boss is wise to her and has made it clear she isn't fooling anyone. I have confronted her a couple times and she kind of backed off. Even a close friend of mine gets this way sometimes until I call her on it.

    Here is my take on people like this. They are usually lacking in confidence and trying to overcompensate and/or are only looking out for what might befall them if they are somehow seen as less than the best. Annoying? Yes. Maddening? Frequently. My advice is try to avoid the drama, stay on professional terms, and if she goes at you personally take a firm stand and respectfully tell her that she is not the center of your universe.
     
  19. alioxenfree

    alioxenfree Rookie

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    Mar 23, 2013

    To me, that IS life away from school. Except I'm too lazy to have a dog. :D
     
  20. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    LOL about the dog! Me too. I only want a dog when it's convenient for me which means I don't need a dog. I love coming home and crashing on the couch and A to Z, eating, napping, etc without giving Fido a walk, especially in the rain, snow and extremely hot day.s
     
  21. round stanley

    round stanley Companion

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    Mar 26, 2013

    print it out

    Print out your own email (make sure your email name isn't also used at school) and leave it in the staff lounge. That should get everyone talking and maybe get her thinking (but don't hold your breath).
     

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