Anyone still feel this way?

Discussion in 'New Teachers' started by andi137, Mar 14, 2008.

  1. andi137

    andi137 Companion

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    Mar 14, 2008

    Does anyone else still feel left out at the school they are teaching at? I have been here all year and although I feel that some progress has been made I still feel really left out at times. I know that some of it is my fault, because I am really shy and I have been trying...... It just still feels like I dont fit in though. This is a very small school. There are 15 teachers in the whole building and most have been here for several years. So I am just looking for other teachers who are dealing with similar situations, because today I am feeling quite lonely. :(
     
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  3. koocat008

    koocat008 Companion

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    Mar 14, 2008

    I work in a huge school district, on my floor alone there are about 25 teachers. I felt left out all last year. Even sometimes this year, I feel left out. I think it is your own mental outlook. I keep reminding myself that these are my coworkers, not my friends... and that helps when I put them in that kind of category. Now, my second year currently, there are some teachers I talk to all the time..mainly because they are my door neighbors. I had the problem of being paranoid with gossip talk. Even as early as last week. But after venting here, I am starting to realize that, you know what?? We have the rest of the day to enjoy our time with real friends and family! So don't worry about being popular. Go in there, do a great job, and go home.

    I do understand the fact that half of our week is spent with these people, but, if they are not giving you a chance... then maybe they don't deserve your worry over them. Enjoy your day!! I live in Illinois too, and it's 58 degrees today!! FInally :)
     
  4. andi137

    andi137 Companion

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    Mar 14, 2008

    Thanks for the reply! I am also a little worried about gossip talk, that is why part of me is glad that I do kind of stay out it. Enjoy your day as well. We are out at 11 thank goodness!! :)
     
  5. koocat008

    koocat008 Companion

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    Mar 14, 2008

    Thanks! You have a great day too. It sucks, I have to internal sub in ten minutes during my lunch!! boo for me.

    A funny thing about a group of people, not everyone is like you. Some people are known as the "complainers", some people will be known for other weird, quirky stuff. You, obviously, are known as the "new teacher". Teaching is not like regular jobs. I did customer service every summer in college, and when I got to my department, it took about a month to feel so comfortable and at home. Teaching, it takes about a year and a half!! But, these more experienced teachers have been through it too. IT is almost like an initiation into a gang (excuse my reference, my class is reading Outisders). Or initiation into a fraternity. You won't feel comfortable with coworkers until they have confidence that you are not just the "new teacher", but then you'll be known for something else :)

    With my friends, I am known as being a little ditsy, and for lack of better term, air-headed. But, when my coworkers started making fun of me for that, I took it even more personal because they really don't know who I am. Anyway, I can go on and on about this. Hang in there!!! Spring break is aroudn corner. Really practice putting negativity out of your mind. It takes A LOT of practice, but eventually, you'll come to realize: who cares!
     
  6. saramabob

    saramabob Rookie

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    Mar 14, 2008

    I have felt that way, especially at lunch since I can never seem to participate in the conversation. Then, one day, I looked around my lunch table and realized they were all middle-aged to senior men. One has been teaching twice as long as I have been alive. Of course I don't have anything in common with them. Also they have known each other for decades and me for a few months. Don't feel too bad about not making friends quickly at your school. Unlike other jobs, teachers don't spend much time with their coworkers. They spend most of their time in their classroom with their students or grading papers alone. I can relate because I am shy and don't have many friends at my school, but don't let it bother you. Eventually you'll begin bonding with people and fitting in more. Until then, don't worry about it.
     
  7. teacherfan

    teacherfan Cohort

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    Mar 14, 2008

    Feel very left out at my school I am LTSubbing at. Just yesterday I saw a couple teachers that went out to lunch. I just thought to myself, why didn't they ask me? But then they know that I am always working through lunch because I have my own family to get home to.
     
  8. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    Mar 14, 2008

    I feel that way sometimes too, but I'm somewhat of a 'loner' by nature so deep down, it doesn't really bother me much. I'm much happier on my own, doing the best I can. There's less baggage that way too because you don't get caught up in all the stuff that goes on.
     
  9. obro

    obro Rookie

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    I totally know how you feel. It is my first year so I am always busy. It feels like eveyone is buddies except me. Dont get me wrong people are nice and all but mostly we make small talk. Last week we had a conference day with no kids---very tough. Groups were heading out to lunch and hanging around in rooms and it was somewhat awkward for me. I too am fairly shy so half of it is my fault but sometimes I wish someone would just "adopt" me and make sure to ask me to join them for lunch or something.
     
  10. minnie

    minnie Habitué

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    Mar 14, 2008

    I feel the exact same way! Except my school only has five teachers including me. All of the teachers there have been there forever and this is my first year. Everyone has their buddies that they chat to and inside jokes they laugh about when I don't have a clue. However, the teacher next door and I have become closer but still I feel like an outsider. I agree with koocat008, just do the best job you can do and don't worry so much about it. The upside about not being buddy-buddy with the teacher is that you don't get caught up in the drama and gossip and you can just focus on your job. When my kids go home, WHEW, I am too exhausted to chat with everyone! :p
     
  11. LA/FLnewbie

    LA/FLnewbie Companion

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    Mar 17, 2008

    First of ll, I think it's interesting ho many teachers consider themselves "shy"...I consider myself introverted, not shy, and sometimes worry that I am somehow not the "right person" for the job. Seems like I'm not alone, though!

    Secondly, I felt this way up until recently, when I let other teachers know I would be returning next year. I realized that they are used to new teachers quitting, so I can see how they might not want to make too much effort getting to know someone who might just leave anyways. We have two out of nine teachers leaving...it's so weird thinking I won't be "the new teacher" next year, and I am already thinking about how to better welcome two newbies better than I was this year!
     
  12. RainStorm

    RainStorm Phenom

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    Mar 17, 2008

    The first school I worked at, after 2 and 1/2 years, I still felt like an outsider. I wasn't "in" any group, and there was only one other teacher who I ever socialized with. I used to go to her room and talk, but got worried I was bothering her, so I stopped. Finally, about two weeks later, she showed up at my room and I knew I finally had a "friend" at work.

    When I changed schools, I team taught, so there was always one teacher I interacted with each day (plus special ed and gifted). But I still felt "by myself."

    To this day, I don't feel terribly accepted. I go out of my way for others, but there are only a few who would return the sentiment.

    I think teaching, by its very nature, is a lonely profession. We close our doors, and do our job, surrounded basically by only children.
     
  13. em26stj

    em26stj Rookie

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    Mar 18, 2008

    I feel exactly the same way!! I am a new teacher and work in a school with predominately senior staff that has been there forever. In the beginning on the year I was concerned with being liked and social with my collegues, but since Christmas I've realized that alll they do in their groups is gossip about other staff and even each other. I have chosen to not be apart of any of their clicks. At times it seems lonely and unsocial but I have made friends with the other new teacher and we have become each others support. This is refreshing since we are going through the same things and can vent to each other. When I was in "their group" i mentioned something and it came back to me through an administration, so i'ved learned the hard way that not everyone can be trusted. So I'd rather be alone than feel like i need to sensor my conversations.
     
  14. cMcD

    cMcD Groupie

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    Mar 18, 2008

    I feel this way sometimes. The moral in my building is low anyway. I'm very close with the two other 4th grade teachers I teach with and the intermediate special education teacher. Other than that it's just polite hellos. Sometimes I feel like I get picked on because I am a new teacher. I feel like the teachers in my school have more bad things to say about one another than good things. This is another reason why I'm happy to be moving on after this year. I'm working this into my interviews this spring/summer by asking how the moral is among teachers in the building.
     
  15. Kate Change

    Kate Change Companion

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    Mar 19, 2008

    Yeah, the teachers at my school seem mainly to be great people, but only those I work with daily or the other new teacher are really open with me. There is a little bit of back biting, but that's not too bad. I more feel left out because I have no children and it is a small community which I am new to. I think it will just take me a little longer to make friends. It makes me feel a little better to know that I am not the only one. Sometimes I wonder if there is some "teacher gene" that I am missing that binds them together. I know I'm wrong, but I'm having one of those days.
     
  16. katrinkakat

    katrinkakat Connoisseur

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    Mar 19, 2008

    I don't feel part of the gang yet, either! But I taught Head Start for 8 years and never felt like I was in one of the cliques. As a matter of fact, at meetings I sat by someone different each time. I got to know more people that way than sitting with the same group like everyone else did. I agree with the above posters, they are your co-workers. Be friendly, considerate, and then just do your job. I looked at past yearbooks at my school site and almost everyone has been there since it opened!
    I do feel a little closer to my grade level teachers. Good luck and don't worry. Just be yourself! :)
     
  17. koocat008

    koocat008 Companion

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    Mar 20, 2008

     

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