Anyone else working on improving their life, etc?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by TennisPlayer, Aug 25, 2011.

  1. TennisPlayer

    TennisPlayer Cohort

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    Aug 25, 2011

    I'm learning through my therapy appointments that I have some negative beliefs that were passed on from my parents either through their behaviors or what they told me about the world. It's nothing extreme like a cult or anything like that but I can def. see why that has led to me to have anxiety/more vigilant than someone else might be.

    So, I'm wondering if you can relate to this, like if you had parents that maybe told you "you don't need to cry" or being overprotective of you to the point where you feel like you can't do things without them being nearby, etc how did you work on that as an adult to view the world as a good place yet still being aware of your surroundings without being hypervigilant, etc because of the messages you got as a child.


    If none of this makes sense then you had parents who also loved you but perhaps were able to give you a sense of independence and recognized your feelings instead of feeling like they had the final say, etc like my parents seem to still make me feel as an adult when I share my opinions about something or telling them about something I did that was fun (they'll immed go to some safety aspect like they were not happy to learn I went kayaking last summer even though I was just fine and wore a life vest!) So as a result, I am choosing less contact with my parents both by less phone calls and less in person visits because as of right now, it just stirs up memories of feeling like what I have to say or do isn't "good enough" for them, etc and I don't want to live to please my parents.

    Thankfully, I have a really nice new therapist I've been meeting with just 2 times now and I can see I'm heading in the right direction to help me feel better about myself and how I view the world so that's the good news!!!
    :clap:
     
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  3. SwOcean Gal

    SwOcean Gal Devotee

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    Aug 25, 2011

    That is great news, Tennis! Congrats! That is a huge step to be taking. I am slowly taking those same steps- just recognizing on my own many of the points you describe here. It has been a rough summer, but this is my year and I am moving out of my parents house finally and through starting to take those steps I am realizing a lot of what you are saying. I have always been a very happy person (how can an early childhood teacher not be?!?!?!), but this summer has made me realize that happiness is also a choice and one I have had to recently begin to deliberately make- while in this very difficult and stressful and just plain awful transition period. Good luck as you make further gains! Best wishes!
     
  4. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Aug 25, 2011

    It sounds as though you're in, or on the verge of, a wonderful place in your life TP.

    I have to say I've never shared the experiences you have. But I did teach a friend how to ride a bicycle this summer. She's 50 years old and always wanted to learn. But when she was a child, her mom told her "You'll break your arm!!!" so Vivian never learned. She always wanted to, but spent 4 and a half decades pleasing her mom instead of herself.

    Best of luck to you as you grow and learn.
     
  5. TennisPlayer

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    Aug 25, 2011

    Thanks Alice, you always have the nicest things to say to people on here! I wish I knew you in person! It's good to surround yourself with positive people! :hugs:
     
  6. TennisPlayer

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    Aug 25, 2011

    Thanks, well feel free to PM me if you need to vent if you don't want to express things on here like I did. I would rather be open with my thoughts because you never know who has been in a similar situation and can offer their life advice!
     
  7. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Sep 23, 2011

    Last night, over the phone, I taught my 80 year old mom to use Google :)

    She's going to San Diego in a week or so. (My sister is going on business, and mom is tagging along.) I taught her how to find Google, then told her to type in "San Diego Tourism." She was delighted with the results, and said she would spend today playing with it. (And it's supposed to pour today, so it's a good choice.)

    Yay mom!!!
     

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