Any tips on getting the parent to leave when dropping off kids?

Discussion in 'Early Childhood Education Archives' started by Myname, Apr 10, 2006.

  1. Myname

    Myname Comrade

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    Apr 10, 2006

    I have a few parents that do make drop off WAY WORSE by hanging around too long. How can we let the parents know that we want them to drop off quickly to make it easier on their child? I don't want to sound rude to the parent.
    So do any of you have a constructive NICE way of handleing this?
     
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  3. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Apr 10, 2006

    Just be honest and polite about it. When the parent comes to get the child tell them what you have observed and what they need to do. Take them aside and tell them for the benefit of their child that it would be best if they said goodbye, gave them a kiss, and then went on their way. Tell them it's also normal to have to tell parents that and many children need to "drop and go" method for their sake. Tell them it will help their chid adjust and cope must faster and they are only delaying the inevitable and making it worse. You wont sound rude as long as your tone of voice it sincere. I have had to do this many times. It is something that parents just don't realize makes it worse.
     
  4. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    When my son started Kindergarten he was the kid screaming and hanging onto my legs when it was time to go through the gate and into the classroom. His amazing teacher took me aside and told me that he was putting on a great show for my benefit, and that as soon as I was gone he was fine. The first day I "unpeeled" him, turned around and walked away was so hard (I think I cried all the way home), but it was the best thing I ever did. After 2 or 3 days, no more difficulties.
     
  5. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    I hate to be the opposite, but this 'drop and go' just doesn't work for some kids. I did listen to the teacher and after two weeks of 'drop and go' she was still very anxious to the point of vomitting. I know teachers need to do their jobs, but parents know their kids best and teachers have to respect that (be it that some parents are more clingy than the kids and transmit that). One thing I do agree with is that teachers and parents can work together to find a workable solution. In my case, it was picking her up at lunch to break up the day. When the teacher wanted to cut her down to half days to see if it would help, I decided that I would just pick her up at lunch and then bring her back. It was still tough on her, but not half as bad, and by Christmas, I no longer had to pick her up at all until the end of the day.
     
  6. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I agree it doesn't always work for a handful of kids, but I think it helps the majority. I had one that never got use to being in daycare. She later left after 3 months of crying persistently all through the day. However, this particular parent also never put her kid down or left her alone. Because of this, she didn't walk until she was 19 months old.
     
  7. Butterfly4

    Butterfly4 Comrade

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    Apr 10, 2006

    We have one who "puts on the show" for Mom when she drops him off. It's usually during circle time and can be very distracting. We have a "lobby" where our directors desk/reception is. We talked to the Mom and had her start saying goodbye there and the director walks the child to the room. This has been working wonderfully, we've been doing it for a couple weeks now.
     
  8. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    Apr 12, 2006

    No one thing works for every child, but the "drop and go" method is the most successful method for most children. There will always be a child or two that needs something different. I think the key to telling whether the child can be quickly left or whether he/she needs mom to stay around a while is what happens after mom DOES leave. If the kid very quickly cheers up and participates normally in the classroom activities (within 5 minutes), then it's best to get mom out of the room as quickly as possible. If the child is upset for a very long time, withdrawn, or anxious, then the "drop and go" won't work.

    However, I've now taught PreK for 13 years, and I've only had one child who really needed mom to stay. In other cases, it was truly the mom who had the seperation issues.

    One thing we do is we meet our children in the foyer of the school. I'm in a public elementary school. If a child lives in an area where we provide buses, I encourage the parents to let the kids ride the bus. I do realize that not all parents are comfortable with that, and that's certainly their choice. But, in general, the kids LOVE the bus, and that is a super motivator for them to say goodbye happily. If the mom brings the child to school, they say goodbye in the foyer. Parents do not bring children down to the classroom. If there is a sad goodbye, I'd rather that sadness not be associated with the classroom, which should be a happy, joyful place. The teachers all wait in the foyer for the kids, we line up and goodbyes are said. We go to the classrooms. An assistant waits for the last few stragglers. This minimizes parents "hanging around" in the classroom, because they never actually get to the classroom. Not that I'm not welcoming or that I'm hiding something...I just prefer to have the beginning of our day alone with the kids. Once the routine starts and the kids are engaged, we have parent volunteers come in, usually 1-2 a day.
    Kim
     
  9. angncfl

    angncfl Rookie

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    Apr 17, 2006

    We have a sign on our classroom doors that only the teachers and preschool staff are permitted in the classrooms for the children's safety. We don't run background checks on our parents and we have over 300 sex offenders within 5 miles of the school....with those odds, I can't afford not to enforce the drop and go policy. The parents are permitted to peek into the door window, but they may not stay in the room. For new students I will allow them to stay for a few minutes in the classroom for the first 2-3 days. We keep the doors locked so the parents can only get in if the teacher opens the door wide enough. There are ways to be polite and cautious without being rude....and the occasional upset parent will just have to get over themselves. The kids need to be protected.
     
  10. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    In our parent handbook, we describe the "goodby" process. At the end of the description, we say, 'if you have trouble saying goodby, the classroom teacher will help you.' The help is usually something like, tell mom goodby. Then I say to mom, 'go ahead and leave. I promise to call you if s/he does not stop crying and/or fussing within 15 minutes. And, feel free to call and check on her." Many parents are concerned about leaving the child for you to handle--and don't know if you want them to leave a crying child, and the verbal support is all they need to understand that they should leave.
     
  11. GSK Day care

    GSK Day care Rookie

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    Apr 19, 2006

    When you say it -do it

    Whether it is a child that needs mom or dad to linger a minute or one that will need to be handed over to me still clinging on , the only thing I tell parents is when you say it - mean it and do it. Mommy is going now- Good bye, love you, I will come back after afternoon snack. - leave. I also ask them to keep their schedules as regular as they can if the child displays anxiety during naptime or in the afternoon when other parents come. but over all mostly these things take care of themselves if the separating is kept as undramatic and straight forward as possible.

    There are information online about it too "Separating from Infants and Toddlers Publications" - if you search on that string you should come up with some good ones that you could print out if you are uncertain of how to communicate this to the parent in question. I was a daycare parent - my daughter cried and cried and cried and I felt awful. On the other side of the door now a family child care provider I say the same thing my daycare teachers said to me. It works great too.
     
  12. GSK Day care

    GSK Day care Rookie

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    Apr 19, 2006

    Another thing : )

    Just thought of something I wanted to add that is good to share with parents too. These situations ( as long as not extreme ) are really a growth opportunity in disguise for the child. Just like many other little situations they encounter in their day : ) Their ability to accept and control themselves in situations that are distressing or new will help them in school and in their security in themselves. Seeing that mommy and daddy comes back also is a very important lesson that will take them a new level : ) They do not love mom or dad any less end of the day is another reassuring fact : ) any parent will need to hear...don't we all
     

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