Another cover letter!

Discussion in 'Job Seekers' started by Beth2004, Apr 15, 2007.

  1. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Apr 15, 2007

    I know that there are lots of cover letters floating around the forums to be read, but if you could take a look at mine and give me some tips, I'd really appreciate it. I just rewrote my whole cover letter in the hopes of catching more principals' eyes and I really like how it sounds, but it's really long. I'm just not sure what to cut out exactly. Thanks in advance for any help!! :)

    I would like to express my interest in an elementary-level classroom teacher position for the 2007-2008 school year.

    I knew that I wanted to be a teacher even when I was very young. I had some wonderful teachers in elementary school who instilled in me the love of learning. I credit them for showing me how important the teaching profession really is and for making me want to be a part of it.

    In high school, when I was beginning to think about college, the idea of teaching preschool was very appealing to me. I took childcare courses and loved them. When I was sixteen, however, I was given the opportunity to begin working at an after school program. It was the children at this program that made me realize that I really enjoy working with children in that age group. That is when I decided that I would major in elementary education at ***** State College.

    While going through my courses at ******* State I had moments when I doubted my teaching abilities. I was beginning to realize all of the roles that teachers are required to play and how much work is really involved. All of those doubts went away, though, the first time I taught a lesson to a group of sixth graders at the ***** Elementary School. I was so happy to be teaching and seeing the students learning the material that my cheeks hurt at the end of the day from smiling so much. Those moments just got better and more frequent during my student teaching semester and while working as a long-term substitute where I experienced many more moments that reaffirmed my desire to make teaching my life-long career.

    Having my own third grade classroom this school year has taught me how important teaching really is to me. I have witnessed my students making great progress and have time and time again seen our hard work paying off. I have enjoyed discovering how each of my students learns best and supplementing the curriculum with guided reading and hands-on activities to meet each of their individual needs. I look forward to many more years of teaching and hope that I can have the same impact on my students’ lives as my teachers had on mine.

    I feel that my enthusiasm and dedication to my students would make me an asset to your faculty. Thank you for your time and I look forward to speaking with you soon.
     
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  3. Reddawg

    Reddawg New Member

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    Apr 15, 2007

    While I can certainly see your joy of touching young lives, I would tend more to creating a Philosophy of Education that would contain the information you have compiled here.

    Your cover letter should be generic and include the position you are interested in and your desire to work for such in such ISD...ect...

    The Philosophy of Education would attach with the resume' and cover letter and would have your beliefs and desires of educating.

    Just some thoughts, in Texas that is what all the ISD's look for as far as being committed, interested, and willing.
     
  4. ChristinMcG

    ChristinMcG Rookie

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    Apr 15, 2007

    I like the way you have presented yourself as an individual by including details about your personal experiences, but you need to tailor each cover letter to the specific school to which you're applying. This letter does not mention any school in particular, and many administrators do not consider applicants with "generic" letters. You could easily fix that by tweaking the letter a bit for each school.
     
  5. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    The thing is, I've been applying to schools for 2 years now (graduated in May 2005) with a relatively generic cover letter and it really hasn't gotten me anywhere. I'm just trying something a little different now in the attempt to stand out a little more. Thanks for the advice, though!
     
  6. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Thanks! This letter isn't for any school in particular right now, just a basic outline of what I want to write. I would definitely tweak it for particular schools and grades depending on the position I'm applying for.
     
  7. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Cover letters are changing, do not make them generic! It just doesn't work. You need something to make yourself stand out. Now Beth you need to take all that information and cut it down to three to four paragraphs and try to keep it under 20 sentences.
     
  8. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    :eek: I know! haha
    I just can't figure out what to cut out without completely disrupting the "flow" of the letter.

    **edit** I actually just counted and it's exactly 20 sentences. :)
    I've got some pretty long sentences, though!
     
  9. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Apr 15, 2007

    Beth,

    I love your letter, and it really is very touching and personal. I think you should focus more on your third grade classroom this year and eliminate the paragraph where you talk about courses in college and that type of stuff. I think it's good, but it's also something you can discuss in person that wouldn't take up so much of your letter.

    Good luck
     
  10. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Apr 15, 2007

    Ok, I cut some stuff out and added some to my paragraph about my classroom this year.

    I would like to express my interest in an elementary-level classroom teacher position for the 2007-2008 school year.

    I knew that I wanted to be a teacher even when I was very young. I had some wonderful teachers in elementary school who instilled in me the love of learning. I credit them for showing me how important the teaching profession really is and for making me want to be a part of it.

    Although I was sure that I wanted to teach, I had moments while going through my courses at ****** State College when I doubted my teaching abilities. All of those doubts went away, though, when I taught my first lesson to a group of sixth graders. I was so happy to be teaching and seeing the students learning the material that my cheeks hurt at the end of the day from smiling so much. Those moments just got better and more frequent during my student teaching semester and while working as a long-term substitute where I experienced many more moments that reaffirmed my desire to make teaching my life-long career.

    Having my own third grade classroom this school year has taught me how important teaching really is to me. I have witnessed my students making great progress and have time and time again seen our hard work paying off. I have enjoyed discovering how each of my students learns best and supplementing the curriculum with guided reading and hands-on activities to meet each of their individual needs. I have grown as a professional and know that I am now an even better teacher than before. I look forward to many more years of teaching and learning and hope that I can have the same impact on my students’ lives as my teachers had on mine.

    I feel that my enthusiasm and dedication to my students would make me an asset to your faculty. Thank you for your time and I look forward to speaking with you soon.
     
  11. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    I was thinking the same thing. Focus on what you did this year with your third grade class, and what you did last yr with the 4th and 5th grade clases.
     
  12. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Apr 15, 2007

    I would get rid of the although paragraph. You don't need it.
    Talk more about what you did this year in third grade, and maybe add what you did last yr. But make it short and sweet. Change your first paragraph to really grab their attention. what do you want? You want an interview. Tell them that.
    I would love the opportunity to be interviewed for an elementary teacher position within XYZ school district/system.

    Closing paragraph again tell them what you want.
    I feel that my enthusiasm and dedication to my students would make me an asset to your faculty. I am excited about the possibility of a personal interview to further discuss my qualifications with you. I can be reached at (your number) . Thank you for taking the time to review my credentials and to consider me for employment with your school district.
     
  13. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Ok, well, here's the letter that I sent to the district I subbed in a few weeks ago. I think this letter better fits everyone's suggestions. What do you think?

    Since reading about the many anticipated vacancies in your school district I have been visiting the district website daily. I am very excited to see the vacancies are now posted and would love the opportunity to be interviewed for the third grade teaching positions at the **** Elementary School.

    During the 2005-2006 school year, I worked as a long-term substitute at the ******Intermediate School, first in the fourth grade and then in the fifth. In the fourth grade we spent a great deal of time writing personal narratives in preparation for the MCAS in March. I enjoyed witnessing the great progress my students made over a few short months. In the fifth grade we spent quite a bit of time preparing for the MCAS tests in May. We reviewed the math and science material by playing PowerPoint Jeopardy games and using MCAS test questions from previous years. I then had the opportunity to administer all of the tests to the fifth graders. Because of these experiences, I am now very familiar with the Massachusetts Curriculum Frameworks and with the MCAS tests.

    Currently, I am teaching third grade at the ******* Christian Academy in *******. I feel that working in a small, private school has allowed me to expand my teaching repertoire. I have had the opportunity to work much more closely with my students in smaller groups. This has helped me to discover the different ways that each of them learns best. I have incorporated running records and guided reading into my reading program which were things I had not had the opportunity to do in the past. This experience has helped me to grow as an educator, and will be very beneficial to me and my students once I am in a larger, public school classroom again.

    I enjoyed working within the ******* schools and it is a place that I can see myself being a part of in the future. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to speaking with you soon.
     
  14. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    I like that one better. Now are you going to take after me and rewrite it again haha.

    :D :D :D
     
  15. Research_Parent

    Research_Parent Cohort

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    The last one is shorter, but loses some of your enthusiasm level seen in the first two versions.
     
  16. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    I like it Beth! I hope you get many interviews!!!!!
     
  17. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Exactly! There's my problem.... :rolleyes:

    I'm in the process right now of trying to combine the two letters some how to include my enthusiasm as well as more concrete information about my experiences.
     
  18. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Like I said cut out that although paragraph in the first letter.
     
  19. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Ok, I sort-of combined the two. It's kinda long again, though.

    I was very excited to see the anticipated 2007-2008 openings in the *****Schools posted in the Boston Globe and on your district website. I would love the opportunity to be interviewed for an elementary-level classroom teacher position within your district.

    I knew that I wanted to be a teacher even when I was very young. I had some wonderful teachers in elementary school who instilled in me the love of learning. I credit them for showing me how important the teaching profession is and for making me want to be a part of it. The journey to becoming a teacher has been a long one, but I have had some wonderful experiences and look forward to many more.

    During the 2005-2006 school year, I worked as a long-term substitute at the **** Intermediate School in ******, first in the fourth grade and then in the fifth. In the fourth grade we spent a great deal of time writing personal narratives in preparation for the MCAS in March. I enjoyed witnessing the great progress my students made over a few short months. In the fifth grade we spent quite a bit of time preparing for the MCAS tests in May. We reviewed the math and science material by playing PowerPoint Jeopardy games and using MCAS test questions from previous years. I then had the opportunity to administer all of the tests to the fifth graders. Because of these experiences, I am now very familiar with the Massachusetts Curriculum Frameworks and with the MCAS tests.

    Currently, I am teaching third grade at the ****** Christian Academy in *******. Having my own classroom this school year has taught me how important teaching really is to me. I have witnessed my students’ academic growth and have time and time again seen our hard work paying off. I have enjoyed discovering how each of my students learns best and supplementing the curriculum with running records, guided reading, and hands-on activities to meet each of their individual needs. Over the past seven months, I have had the opportunity to expand my teaching repertoire and have grown as an educator. I look forward to many more years of teaching and learning and hope that I can have the same impact on my students’ lives as my teachers had on mine.

    I feel that my enthusiasm and dedication to my students would make me an asset to your faculty. Thank you for your time and I look forward to speaking with you regarding any available positions.
     
  20. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Apr 16, 2007

    Mail it!
     
  21. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    OH Alice you're a lot of help hahahaha. DOn't feel bad Beth she keeps telling me the same thing. :D

    Ok do you really need to tell them where you found the ad? Don't they know where they posted it?
     
  22. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    That was one of the things one of my college prof. always told us to do. I don't know, he was a principal so I always took a lot of his advice.
     
  23. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I don't think it's a bad idea to let them know. They'll know you're not just sending blanket letters to everyone, but have a real interest in that particular job.

    Plus it lets them know that placing the ad was a good idea.
     
  24. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    I'm not sure. I heard you didn't need it any more because the schools know where the ad was placed. And they usually ask you on the application. But who knows every place is different.
     
  25. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Because a great cover letter doesn't do you any good until you MAIL IT!!
     
  26. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Yeah but you can't mail it when the post offices are closed. You always tell us to mail them on the days that post office isn't open. It's Patriot's Day.
     
  27. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Most districts in my area don't have applications to go along with the resume and cover letter.
     
  28. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    I just got back from mailing them. Because Patriot's day isn't a federal holiday the P.O. is open today. :)
     
  29. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Well that isn't fair. Our post office is closed.
     
  30. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Dear Jaime,

    Find a mailbox.

    Love,
    Alice
     
  31. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    A mail box wouldn't do me any good I gotta (haha) pay for them package.
     
  32. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Besides reverse 911 call just came in a while ago and said not to leave the house.
     
  33. Counz2BLiz

    Counz2BLiz Rookie

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    Apr 16, 2007

    A Place for EXCELLENT Resumes!

    Here is a great place to get your resume, cover letter or intent to work whatever you need done. Gerald did a great job on mine enough that superintendents said "WOW". Gerald used to work in the school system as either a teacher or counselor and knows the exact thing they are looking for, the verbage and how to get you NOTICED. Check out his web page and email him if you have questions. I never spoke with him, it was all via email but he walked me through the whole process and was honest and thourough. His name is Gerald Hancock http://resumeskc.com/. I had 2 interviews today and I know I have one of the positions.

    Good luck to you. It was worth every panny, I look at it as an investment:D
    Liz
     

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