Another Big Teacher Oops....

Discussion in 'General Education' started by KinderCowgirl, Jun 4, 2014.

  1. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2006
    Messages:
    4,858
    Likes Received:
    0
  2.  
  3. Miss_V_5

    Miss_V_5 Rookie

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2014
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 4, 2014

    That's a shame.. I've certainly heard teachers day worse about students, but that's so unprofessional and sad. :(
     
  4. Go Blue!

    Go Blue! Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2011
    Messages:
    1,949
    Likes Received:
    16

    Jun 4, 2014

    The only opps is that the teacher didn't hang up the phone first.

    I've heard teachers say far worse about students. I've said far worse.
     
  5. Reality Check

    Reality Check Habitué

    Joined:
    May 29, 2010
    Messages:
    910
    Likes Received:
    27

    Jun 4, 2014

    :yeahthat:
     
  6. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2008
    Messages:
    4,212
    Likes Received:
    8

    Jun 4, 2014

    Oops. I'm wondering why the boy heard the message. Wasn't it left for the mom? Did she play it for him?

    That's too bad that they're saying bad things about the school as a whole, just because one teacher said something stupid.
     
  7. a2z

    a2z Maven

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    5,682
    Likes Received:
    1,582

    Jun 4, 2014


    The message was not left for mom. The teacher was going to leave a message for mom and then thought she hung up the phone. What the mom heard was a rant to a co-worker or other person.

    Why did the boy hear it? Well, maybe like in my house. The answering machine is blinking and I push play. Who would think that something that insulting would be waiting for you? - apparently the teacher didn't think she was being recorded. I'm not sure the boy did hear it. Mom did, that's for sure.

    This article doesn't say it, but another I read said that the grandfather said the boy has not wanted to go to school for the last few months. He has been afraid.
     
  8. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2007
    Messages:
    14,468
    Likes Received:
    2,485

    Jun 4, 2014

    Is it typical to be 7 years old and in Kindergarten?

    Is it reasonable for the boy to be "afraid"?
     
  9. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2006
    Messages:
    4,858
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 4, 2014

    Actually that's not what the article said. She had left a message for the mom and then thought she hung up and commented. It was on her cell phone (they show it playing in the video), not an answering machine. I wonder too why you would play that for your child-but I guess if you call the news about something like this....

    It is unusual for a child to be 7 and still be in Kinder Caesar.
     
  10. Go Blue!

    Go Blue! Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2011
    Messages:
    1,949
    Likes Received:
    16

    Jun 4, 2014

    You are two-for-two when it comes to reading my mind.
     
  11. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2013
    Messages:
    4,252
    Likes Received:
    791

    Jun 4, 2014

    I assume he was retained. As far as reasonable fear... lots of the younger kiddos have school anxiety. The boy being afraid of school probably isn't overly unusual, especially since I'm assuming he does not experience much success there.

    Also, this is awful... really awful... I feel bad for the parent, but I feel almost as bad for the teacher. We all have those moments of frustration where we say things behind closed doors that we would never, ever, EVER say in public, and this teacher just happened to say those things accidentally to the worst possible audience.
     
  12. AdamnJakesMommy

    AdamnJakesMommy Habitué

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2012
    Messages:
    919
    Likes Received:
    40

    Jun 4, 2014

    Agreed. Totally. I think it is a HUGE over-reaction of this mom, but I'm sure based on what the teacher was saying, the teacher isn't surprised by this mom's reaction. I'm a mom, and I was a mom before I was a teacher. I wouldn't have liked what was said and would've demanded and apology, but wouldn't have taken it any further. As a human being, I understand people get frustrated and say things they later regret, she didn't say it to the child--did not berate or belittle the child.

    HUGE OVER-REACTION!
     
  13. a2z

    a2z Maven

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    5,682
    Likes Received:
    1,582

    Jun 4, 2014

    Not typical. We have had some kids who didn't attend K until they were 6 and turned 7 in May. That is on the late end of holding the kids back before sending them, but there are some. We also have kids that are 7 and are held back. The mom said he has ADHD, autistic tendencies, and gross motor delays so it is very possible that he was retained.

    Is it reasonable to be afraid? Of a teacher with that much hostility? Sure.
     
  14. a2z

    a2z Maven

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    5,682
    Likes Received:
    1,582

    Jun 4, 2014

    But what does saying such insulting stuff do to help the situation? It riles up your co-worker and yourself. It creates an environment not looking to solve problems but to place blame.

    I find it interesting that one complaint is lack of common sense. I know many adults that lack it too.

    Also, schools have cultures. Some allow talk like this and others just won't let it happen. I'm not saying they don't come to a chat board and do it. Reading some comments of parents who have children that attend or have recently been removed they say the school was much different until the current principal and then it changed completely.
     
  15. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2013
    Messages:
    4,252
    Likes Received:
    791

    Jun 4, 2014

    I do absolutely all I can do to be a positive person, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't occasionally say something behind closed doors to a colleague in a moment of frustration that I'd be horrified for a parent to hear, and in almost all situations, after my moment of frustration, I immediately feel better.
     
  16. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2006
    Messages:
    4,858
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 4, 2014

    I don't think anyone can honestly say that they have never once complained about a situation with a student to a co-worker. The only difference here is that this parent has it on tape. I certainly don't think it's an offense for someone's job and reputation to be at stake over.

    I wonder what the beginning of the message was-if she was calling because of a conduct issue in class or something. I find it odd they don't play the whole thing. Not that it would excuse the behavior.
     
  17. a2z

    a2z Maven

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    5,682
    Likes Received:
    1,582

    Jun 4, 2014

    No. The difference is the hostility, the insults, and the accusation used as an insult the teacher used. She didn't complain by saying, "Joey is immature and lacks common sense. I'm really at a loss what to do. It is wearing me down." Nope. That is a complaint. This teacher passed that. She called him names "baby" and then insults the mother.

    A complaint is one thing. This goes beyond a complaint.

    I will now bow out of this thread.
     
  18. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2007
    Messages:
    14,468
    Likes Received:
    2,485

    Jun 4, 2014

    Maybe the kid really doesn't have any common sense. Maybe he does act like a baby. The jab about the mom still wiping his butt seems to be as much about him possibly acting like a baby as it is about his mom needing to cut the cord.

    My point is that none of these things seems to be all that egregious, although certainly it is unfortunate that the parent overheard. Sometimes things are true even when they aren't nice. There have been times when I have said that certain students of mine are lazy, entitled, and rude. Those aren't nice things to say about a person, but that doesn't negate their truth.
     
  19. Go Blue!

    Go Blue! Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2011
    Messages:
    1,949
    Likes Received:
    16

    Jun 5, 2014

    Some kids are babies. Simple as that.

    Some parents deserve to be insulted (although maybe not to their "face"). Some parents need a wakeup call. Some parents need parenting classes. Some parents don't realize their actions (or inaction) are only enabling or hurting their children.

    I've met some really clueless parents over the years; they have no idea or they are in complete denial about who their child is/becomes when he leaves their home. And some of these parents are not even in denial, they just don't want to admit they have lost control of their own child and have no idea what to do to correct their child's behavior.
     
  20. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2008
    Messages:
    4,212
    Likes Received:
    8

    Jun 5, 2014

    That's what I gathered had happened. The parents could have told the child that they were unhappy with the school, and wanted to move him to a new one. I don't think it was necessary to let him hear the message. The teacher was definitely wrong for saying those things, but it sounds like the parents don't have the best sense of judgement, either.
     
  21. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2005
    Messages:
    4,395
    Likes Received:
    7

    Jun 5, 2014

    I don't get hostile out of what she said at all. Ill-timed, definitely. A lapse in judgment, absolutely.

    But I'll go as far as to say-if any teacher says they have NEVER complained about a parent, student, or situation before-they are disillusioned. It's human nature. And it comes with the job-any job, really.

    I think this says a lot-if the school really believed the teacher was totally wrong, they would be saying more than "we understand they are human". I have a hunch that this parent has been in the office more than once this year...

    Also, I find it abhorrent that the mistake made by this person-PERSON-has to find its way onto HuffPost just because she is a teacher. Teachers have to succumb to exceeding scrutiny because they-why? Because they...are?

    I just typed a huge diatribe about a related topic...but I think I'll start a new thread.
     
  22. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2005
    Messages:
    4,395
    Likes Received:
    7

    Jun 5, 2014

    And as for the kid being afraid...come on. Kids have school anxiety, sure, but it is bolstered a LOT by the attitude of the parents. If the parents are asking leading questions, of course the kid is going to take the bait.
     
  23. Sm2teach

    Sm2teach Companion

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2012
    Messages:
    119
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 5, 2014

    Unfortunately, I could have done something similar to this this year. Another teacher and I called a parent on speaker phone and left a voicemail. I thought I had hung up the phone, but I hadn't. I know we said something about another parent we had to call, but when I realized I hadn't hung up the phone I couldn't remember what exactly we had said. When the parent returned our call I apologized for anything I might have said. He said he we didn't say anything bad and we laughed about it. I know we have to be very careful as teachers, but we are still human and make mistakes. I can say I learned from this mistake and it won't happen again.
     
  24. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2006
    Messages:
    4,858
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 5, 2014

    Well and I've seen kids who very easily manipulate situations. I had a student once who wouldn't do her homework because she was "afraid" I'd get mad because she did it wrong. There was no foundation for that belief-as a matter of fact I literally just put checks on their homework pages, my feeling was it was a way for her to get out of homework.

    If your child has been afraid to go to school for months, why wasn't that addressed with a meeting, etc. sooner. There just seems to be more to the story. And to change schools, this time of year over something like this-teachers, yes absolutely, but schools?-that's odd to me.
     
  25. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2006
    Messages:
    4,858
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 5, 2014

    That was my thought as well. I wonder how many customer service agents hang up and complain about a customer being difficult! Or nurses complaining about patients. This definitely wasn't something that had to be addressed in the media.
     
  26. monsieurteacher

    monsieurteacher Aficionado

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2005
    Messages:
    3,231
    Likes Received:
    65

    Jun 5, 2014

    I had a cable company call my wife a nutjob when he thought he was on mute... we didn't go to the media. We did leave the company though.
     
  27. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Messages:
    8,312
    Likes Received:
    1,433

    Jun 5, 2014

    I ONCE made a similar mistake when I was still in finance and thought a client was on mute. I grumbled something about wanting to go home. When the client reacted, I apologized, explained that in my time zone, it was a half hour after I was supposed to leave the office, and that I was very tired. The client understood, apologized for keeping me on the phone with him for almost an hour, and we continued working on his issue.

    Not a huge deal, but since then, I am still VERY careful of what I say, even when I think my headset is muted.
     
  28. teach1

    teach1 Companion

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2014
    Messages:
    155
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 5, 2014

    Took the words right out of my mouth. I find this whole thing ridiculous. The only thing the teacher did wrong was not hang up the phone first. Human error.
     
  29. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2008
    Messages:
    4,294
    Likes Received:
    938

    Jun 5, 2014

    This is what I was going to say. The people making a fuss over it are probably the same people who badmouth teachers (when they think nobody is listening).
    Unfortunately, if the kid is really like this in class it probably has something to do with the parent. The truth hurts. That's life. Move on.
     
  30. BioAngel

    BioAngel Science Teacher - Grades 3-6

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2007
    Messages:
    3,642
    Likes Received:
    108

    Jun 6, 2014

    I have a parent who does that constantly with her 2 sons- drives me nuts. I have to email her back saying your child was not nervous, did not panic during the test, and should not need more time to study because they're nervous. I'm really concerned about the mom's mental health- in a kind way- and how it's hindering her children's learning.

    As for this, the parent should have done a better job of keeping this message hidden from the child. Who shares that kind of thing with a child?? :confused: I couldn't read for anything in 1st grade and my Mom never told me to my face about what my teacher was saying about my reading skills until I was much older (and way better with reading).
     
  31. iteachbx

    iteachbx Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2011
    Messages:
    2,096
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jun 7, 2014

    Do you teach elementary school? I don't think calling him a "baby" is name calling. Some children act like babies. They act way more immature than they should. I have a third grader who will whine and cry when his shoe lace is untied rather than simply asking someone to tie it for him. A lot of this comes from they way they are parented in my opinion. Does it make it okay for her to use those words for the parent to hear? No...but she obviously didn't intend for the parent to hear and it was a mistake.
     
  32. iteachbx

    iteachbx Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2011
    Messages:
    2,096
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jun 7, 2014

    It angers me that this is news. Yes it's a bad situation and the teacher owes the family an apology. However, if some real estate agent was calling her clients morons and it was overheard, would it be on the Huffington Post? The media loves finding ways to attack teachers or make them look like bad people.
     
  33. Bella2010

    Bella2010 Habitué

    Joined:
    May 1, 2010
    Messages:
    807
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 7, 2014

    Yup-agreed. That wouldn't happen. Or how about when a parent or student says horrible things about a teacher? I'm thinking that wouldn't show up in the Huffington Post.
     
  34. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2008
    Messages:
    4,294
    Likes Received:
    938

    Jun 7, 2014

    I'm sure you have noticed that those who are not even teachers have the biggest gripes about these things (in the media and here). Not all posters are teachers here even though they don't always admit it.
     
  35. a2z

    a2z Maven

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    5,682
    Likes Received:
    1,582

    Jun 7, 2014

    Since you directly quoted me, I will respond even though I was going to say no more on this thread.

    That is your prerogative to decide that calling someone who is not the age to be considered a baby anymore a baby.

    If you were to whine or act immature for your age, would you find it acceptable for your administrator to call you a baby to one of his or her equals as long as it was out of earshot or maybe to the secretary?
     
  36. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2013
    Messages:
    4,252
    Likes Received:
    791

    Jun 7, 2014

    Would I like it? Not particularly. Would I go to the media over it, try to get her fired, etc? Nope.
     
  37. a2z

    a2z Maven

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2010
    Messages:
    5,682
    Likes Received:
    1,582

    Jun 7, 2014

    OK. I wouldn't go to the media either, but I understand why that is happening more often.
     
  38. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2013
    Messages:
    4,252
    Likes Received:
    791

    Jun 7, 2014

    At least one of us understands why.
     
  39. Jerseygirlteach

    Jerseygirlteach Groupie

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2010
    Messages:
    1,439
    Likes Received:
    0

    Jun 7, 2014

    I would be really upset if I heard that about my child from his or her teacher. Honestly, I would be really upset just knowing their teacher felt that way about my kid. But I feel like we're entering into a weird time when we're now responsible for everything we think or privately comment on if it's not completely sanitized for public scrutiny. I wish the teacher had hung up the phone, but people make mistakes. I have no issue with her venting to a co-worker privately. I've never known a teacher that didn't.

    By the way, when I was in high school, I worked at a dept. store. A woman came in once and gave me a very hard time about returning something that was in no condition to be returned. She then proceeded to accuse me of flirting with her male companion. I went to my manager to complain about her. I think I called her a deranged psychopath or something. She walked up behind me and heard me say it. Oops! LOL. I guess things happen. Neither of us alerted the media, though. There were also no smartphones at the time to make a youtube video of it. ;)
     
  40. iteachbx

    iteachbx Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2011
    Messages:
    2,096
    Likes Received:
    1

    Jun 7, 2014

    Um yeah I wouldn't think it was that big of a deal. I would be offended at first and then later probably reflect on it and say to myself, wow I have been acting like a baby lately, I need to stop. And as someone else already stated I wouldn't go crying to the media about it.
     
  41. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2011
    Messages:
    5,770
    Likes Received:
    1,000

    Jun 7, 2014

    I think that might have been merited though, so you're okay.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. blazer,
  2. vickilyn,
  3. 3Sons,
  4. RainStorm
Total: 438 (members: 5, guests: 416, robots: 17)
test