Angry/Vent

Discussion in 'General Education' started by giraffe326, Jul 28, 2012.

  1. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    Jul 28, 2012

    As many of you know, I was looking for a job in my home state. It didn't pan out this year, but I really wasn't prepared as I could have been. I have a plan and I am confident that it WILL happen next year.

    Anyway, I emailed my P asking if she would be in on Monday.
    This is part of the response I got:

    Heard you were struggling a bit.... You may want to place the house with a property management group and go home - find a job and work your way into the system.... I am going to need you at the top of your game this year.

    Wow. Thanks for the support :mad:

    My teammate loves to blab. She called me when I was crying the other day when I first got home.
     
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  3. FourSquare

    FourSquare Fanatic

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    Wow did she really just ask you to leave? Rude as hell!

    I'm so sorry. :mad:
     
  4. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    I probably shouldn't have responded tonight, but I did. It wasn't very nice.
     
  5. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    The funny thing is that I was extremely depressed last school year, yet I still had the best science test scores in the entire COUNTY. (We were departmentalized, so that is all that I taught)
     
  6. lbradley1718

    lbradley1718 Comrade

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    Jul 28, 2012

    Whoa! Rude!

    Can't believe she sent you that kind of reply.
     
  7. alioxenfree

    alioxenfree Rookie

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    Wow. My mouth is still hanging open after reading your post. I can see why you're angry. Geez! Do I understand this correctly? Your teammate told your principal you were crying the other day. Then the principal replied to you with this mess, basically telling you to go home because she thinks your teaching will suffer? How insulting.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2012
  8. Rebel1

    Rebel1 Connoisseur

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    Jul 28, 2012

    HOW RUDE!
    Your teammate is not a team player @ all.
    I'd slap some sense into her head!
    Rebel1
     
  9. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    I e-mailed her asking what days she will be in next week. She said she would be out, and then this is what the rest of the email said.

    My teammate called me the other day (the day after I drove back from my home state) because she wanted to get together to plan, and I was crying. I was PMSing and I was sad that I didn't cut it.

    Financially, it has always made more sense for me to stay here another year and sell my house. Plus, there are a few things I could have done differently that *may* have helped me land a job. I have a plan now, and I wanted to share it with my P. Now, I am tempted to find a job closer to my house (I drive 35 minutes).
     
  10. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    Yup. It didn't suffer last year when I was deeply depressed. I have no reason to think it would suffer this year, when I am hell bent on being the best teacher I can be so I can show off in interviews next year.
     
  11. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Jul 29, 2012

    :eek:hmy:
     
  12. Mathemagician

    Mathemagician Groupie

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    Jul 29, 2012

    Your P sounds pretty adorable.
     
  13. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Might it be a good time to stop sharing personal information/concerns/problems/plans with your principal? If she's going to use those things against you and imply that you're not on your game, then maybe she needs to be left out of the loop.

    In any case, I'm sorry that she said that to you. She sounds like a real piece of work.
     
  14. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Jul 29, 2012

    I think her coworker told the principal...
     
  15. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    I'm sorry-that is a really shocking response-especially given her info comes second-hand.
     
  16. MsB2012

    MsB2012 Companion

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    Wowza. Talk about unprofessional.

    What did your response say?
     
  17. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    She is really usually supportive. She has her faults, don't get me wrong.

    I just can't imagine what my 'teammate' said to her.
     
  18. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    Jul 29, 2012

    "It frustrates me that people talk so much. You'd think I'd learn....
    I had a rough day after I got back home, but I am OK now, and I will be OK. I have a plan and I am determined. *** has never been the problem."


    (The last sentence is there because later in the email she said she needed my heart to be in it at my school. Last year was by FAR my worst and I did not like my job much at all. I was dealing with SO much stuff outside of school, and I was miserable. However, NO ONE KNEW until I came clean and told them when I asked for letters of recommendation. I kept it hidden and still managed to do my job.)
     
  19. Mathemagician

    Mathemagician Groupie

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    Your response is good. Are you tenured there?
     
  20. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Jul 29, 2012

    Oh my! Maybe your P was just having a bad day or week. Hopefully when you can talk with her, she will be more supportive!
     
  21. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    As tenured as you can be in NC. I am on a lifetime contract, but NC does not allow unions.
    I had a lot more written, but I deleted it. I was trying not to get too angry.

    I had just emailed her a week and a half ago. So I really wonder what my teammate said to her. My teammate called and I was crying at the moment. She wanted to get together and plan, and I told her I couldn't do that at the moment. She must have told our P that I am mentally unstable or something. :rolleyes:
     
  22. MsB2012

    MsB2012 Companion

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    Are you going to confront your teammate? I mean, there's no other way your principal could have found out right?
     
  23. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    I would be angry too. Why do people feel the need to blab about others? Take this as a lesson and never discuss personal matters with co-workers. Also, next time you are upset/crying or whatever don't answer the phone. Wait until you calm down. People sometimes don't take things the right way if we talk to them when upset. I couldn't imagine telling someone (unless maybe my sister) that I was crying. None of their business.
     
  24. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    I don't think it was done maliciously. She caught me at a bad time. And she tells everyone everything. It is just frustrating. I have to watch what and how I say things.

    I have always had a good relationship with my P. We were departmentalized and are now going back to being self contained. She has been worried all along about me teaching reading. I hate it. However, I came up with a plan a few years ago (which I never used because we ended up departmentalizing), plus I have been pinning like mad on Pinterest. So, I am feeling better about it.

    Score wise, I have been on average with the school as a whole, which is better than the state and district. However, when you compare it to my science (or math) scores, reading would be mediocre. She expects more.
     
  25. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    I'm not usually a super sharing person. I wasn't crying at the exact minute she called (I had been crying on and off all day), and she asked me if I was back in town and I lost it :blush: Then, she started pressuring me to get together to plan. I told her that I wasn't up to that at the time. So, I am sure that she told my P that I can't even handle planning. I had just gotten back into town and I felt (feel) like I failed. (Part of me knows that waiting a year is better in the long run, but the impulsive side of me is upset). Plus, I was PMSing (didn't realize it at the time), so I had an extra emotional day. I haven't cried since and I am truly OK.

    She was my mentor and she tends to believe that I still need to be coddled (this will be my 6th year at the same school, in the same grade level). I get annoyed. I usually have to pretend to listen (and agree) with her, then I go do my own thing. I am a peacekeeper, so this is how I cope :)
     
  26. DaleJr88AmpFan

    DaleJr88AmpFan Cohort

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    Everyone is offering some great advice. If I were you, I'd dust off my capris and be the best teacher that you can be. Do not share any personal goals with either your teammate or principal. Frankly, it seems like neither is your "true friend". If I may be so bold, it seems as though your teammate "threw you under the bus" and your principal is concerned (now that you have revealed your other intentions) that you will just go through the motions. If asked about your plans, politely answer that you are enjoying your school year and leave it at that. Unless there is a tragedy, they don't need to know anything. Sorry to be so blunt but you need to guard yourself. Not all people are happy when someone has a plan formulated to improve their lives. I've seen it first hand that many will try to thwart your plans. So.. chin up, sister! Rock it in the classroom. Plan, prepare, and reach your goals! :)
     
  27. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Ah, you're right. I got a little mixed up, I think. I'll amend my advice:

    I think that you should stop sharing personal stuff (at least negative personal stuff) with the coworker. She's proven that she can't handle that information. At best, she's going to blab it to the principal. At worst, she's going to use it to throw you under the bus.

    You mentioned in your original post that you had originally emailed your principal to discuss your plans. Do you mean your lesson plans, your career plans, what? Why were you asking to meet with the principal in the first place? Maybe my advice to keep her out of the loop should still stand. From what I've witnessed in my own district, many administrators don't really want to know when you're having a problem. They want you to deal with it yourself or with the help of a mentor teacher. Teachers who rely on admin for a lot of support tend to receive even less support because admin starts to view them as incapable. I realize that this is a completely messed up practice, but it's how it happens around these parts. I'm certain that other places have more supportive administrators for whom this wouldn't be an issue.
     
  28. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    Trust me- I don't consider them my friends. I have always had a good relationship with my P. The relationship with my teammate is good as long as she is not trying to shove advice down my throat.
    My P and I have discussed her and her negativity in length. She (my P) knows that I deal with her by faking it.

    Unfortunately, I can't be too aloof because I will need letters of recommendations from both of them. However, because my ultimate goal is to get a job in a super tough market, my plan has been to be better than I have ever been before. :) (Of course, I am not telling them that!)
     
  29. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    I want a few things in my classroom moved. I have talked to the tech person about it before, but I was brushed off.
    I also want permission to set up a website. We are required to use one that the school provides, but they are EXTREMELY limited. I want to set up a Weebly website, so I can share things with parents. I also need to know if I will need to get a separate permission for pictures, even though I will make it so it is not searchable.
    Oh, and I want permission to paint the trim. They replaced the blinds last year, and the new ones are much smaller. Unfortunately, when my room was last painted, they did not remove the blinds. I now have 4 different colors of paint showing around the windows.


    Oh-
    The REAL reason for the website? A way to show off to prospective employers. However, they will NEVER, EVER know that ;)
     
  30. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    giraffe~I'm sorry that you're teammate went to your P and that your P responded like that. It sounds like you have a plan for this next school year. I won't add anything else to what the other posters have advised. I will say that weebly is GREAT! I have my own website that I use to give to prospective employers. Good luck!
     
  31. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    :haha:
     
  32. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    I have an online portfolio and it is SOOOOOOOOOO easy to use.

    But, I thought it might be good to see a better glimpse into my classroom. Less formal than a portfolio. Plus, it will make parents happy. A win-win!
     
  33. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    YES!
     
  34. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    The website definitely sounds like a good plan!
     
  35. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    We are required to use the school website for ourselves but we can have any additional websites that we want. Most teachers do not like how the school one works and how difficult it is to update so they have their own site and just include a link to it on the school's.
     
  36. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    That is my plan. I'm not sure she will approve it, though.

    But, honestly, Weebly is extremely easy to use. Maybe our teachers wouldn't hate keeping their websites up to date if it were that easy!
    The only bad thing is that I can't update from school- they have it blocked.
     
  37. ecteach

    ecteach Groupie

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    WOW! Don't ever trust a fellow teacher. Rule #1.
     
  38. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I trust my grade-level colleagues. It's too much, in my opinion, to never "trust" a fellow teacher.
     
  39. msufan

    msufan Comrade

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    Maybe in her case, but this is a pretty bleak life rule IMO.
     
  40. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Sorry, I disagree. There are lots and lots and lots of people I work with that I trust implicitly. And I would like to think that they would have no trouble trusting me.

    I think that in teaching, as in "real life" you have to be careful about who you trust.
     
  41. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    My teammate has her faults (believe me). However, deep down she is not a malicious person. Gossipy? You bet. (So is my P.) Overbearing and bossy at times? Sure. I've had to learn with it.

    Knowing her, I think it truly was said out of concern for me. Why my P had to be like that, I don't know.

    I'm not super close with any of my colleagues, but being on an island is not a good place to be, either. There is a balance. We are having lunch tomorrow. I'm going to see if she says anything about talking to our P.
     

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