It really depends on the kid and the situation. Some kids may just need a break fro the classroom. Plenty of kids behave poorly when they are frustrated, not actually angry. Other times kids are angry with a particular person, and they respond by yelling at the person who is trying to defuse the situation, usually the teacher. It was rare that a kid’s anger was actually directed toward me for an issue. Sometimes those cases require the student to be removed by administration, and in extreme cases the room has to be cleared. Fortunately, during my almost 30 years in education, I can count on one hand the number of times a kid actually yelled at me in anger. And in those cases there is almost always some other issue in play. As a sub, the best thing I can recommend is to make sure that you don’t play into their drama by reacting to their yelling. Never argue with a kid.
Neither. Idea in the short term is to calm the student while still controlling the situation. If you walk (ignore) it signals to everyone misbehavior is free in this class. Removing the student may be necessary if you determine the student may become violent. If you are talking about pulling the student for a “heart to heart” lecture consider how long it takes for someone to leave their brainstem and return to their cognitive (thinking) brain after an anger episode. It’s usually about 45 minutes. With best of intentions, you may escalate the problem versus making it smaller. Consider trying what Fred Jones recommends when you find yourself in a situation of not sure what to do or new, untraveled territory. Here it is, and it’s a biggie: Do nothing. Do nothing does not mean walk away or ignore. It means to take a couple relaxing breaths, stay planted and above all, shut up. Your reaction will be contagious. If you are calm and in your cortex there’s a good chance you will calm the student and do something intelligent. Backtalk is like volleyball. Idea is to keep the ball in the student’s court and make them do all the work. Besides your mouth, controlling your body is key. The posture or look you are going for is “withering boredom” or I’ve seen this type of stuff a thousand times. Big deal. This is most disconcerting to students. They, from experience, expect you to “fly off the handle” and lose it. However, if you face the student by pointing toes and shoulders, relax your jaw and keep your hands from gesturing while killing time all but the most egregious students will begin to fold realizing their tactic isn’t working. It may take 20 seconds. It will seem like two years. Your goal or agenda is get back to work. Students typically start working to get rid of you. Once they do and are committed, you finally speak, “Thanks for getting back to work.”
I just make sure to use a calm voice and keep repeating what the child needs to do. It also helps some kids when using “I” statements instead of “you” statements. Sometimes I walk away. Sometimes I have the kid go somewhere to calm down.
