Am I overreacting or should I report this parent for abuse?

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by Teacher_Lyn, Sep 17, 2009.

  1. Teacher_Lyn

    Teacher_Lyn Companion

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2008
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    2

    Sep 17, 2009

    Johnny* is a first grader in my class who just can't stay out of trouble. First, he tripped a kid up because it was "funny" then when the kid retaliated, he beat him up. Then, he hit another kid in the coat closet. Today, I go into the bathroom and he's standing on the toilet seat looking over the stall and hanging off the door.

    He shows remorse when he gets in trouble, then, the next day (or hour or sometimes minute) he's back at it.

    I met his parents on Tuesday for back to school night. As I was handing out papers Johnny's dad snaps at me, "WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOREVER FOR THESE PAPERS. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. GIVE THE PAPERS TO MY WIFE I'M LEAVING!" and he storms off.

    His wife was MUCH nicer and seemed embarassed. She goes, "It's so good to meet you Ms. Lynn. I don't need the papers right this second. Please, take your time."

    Flash forward to today. Johnny acted up again so I called Mom. She was upset and apologized saying Johnny needs to be evaluated for his behavior and she knows he's been a problem, etc. She also apologized for her husband's behavior and told me, "He didn't mean it, he's just frustrated with Johnny".

    Then she said the following that sent up a red flag to me:
    "Yesterday, my husband he hit him. I mean, I believe in spanking, but I don't think a man should put his hands on a child -- like hitting him. Johnny is my son and again, I know he acts up and we punish him. But I don't believe in men hitting boys."
     
  2.  
  3. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2005
    Messages:
    13,854
    Likes Received:
    1,694

    Sep 17, 2009

    I'd make the call; if you have suspicions you are obligated to report. Tomorrow morning, inform your administrators so that they are aware, then make the report.
     
  4. TeaRoses4M&D

    TeaRoses4M&D Rookie

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2008
    Messages:
    79
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 17, 2009

    I would call the child abuse hotline and explain the situation they will let you know if it needs to be reported.
     
  5. 2inspire

    2inspire Companion

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2009
    Messages:
    155
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 17, 2009

    I'd report-It's not our job to determine abuse so if everything checks out okay you'll still know you did what was best in your heart
     
  6. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2007
    Messages:
    4,391
    Likes Received:
    5

    Sep 17, 2009

    I would call immediately. Maybe it was not what it sounded like, but the mom would have more likely played anything down and her telling you may have been her reaching out for help too.
     
  7. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2008
    Messages:
    4,212
    Likes Received:
    8

    Sep 17, 2009

    I agree. They do a good job deciding if something should be investigated further. I went through this for my niece and they were very helpful.
     
  8. Teacher_Lyn

    Teacher_Lyn Companion

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2008
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    2

    Sep 17, 2009

    should i talk to the boy first? i ran the situation by one of my friends who is 42 and has 3 children and she said that sometimes mother's baby their sons and the lady might have been exagerrating
     
  9. Missy99

    Missy99 Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2008
    Messages:
    1,845
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 17, 2009

    You are required to report abuse, not to examine potential witnesses (the child).

    Report it.

    BTW, that may have been the mom's way of asking for help.
     
  10. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

    Joined:
    May 19, 2007
    Messages:
    6,505
    Likes Received:
    1,417

    Sep 17, 2009

    I would make the call and not talk to the child. If children's services decide to talk to the child, you don't want to have put ideas into his head, even inadvertantly.
     
  11. Zelda~*

    Zelda~* Devotee

    Joined:
    May 18, 2008
    Messages:
    1,042
    Likes Received:
    81

    Sep 17, 2009

    Make the call. All you have to do is report the facts. CPS knows that teachers are mandated reporters.
     
  12. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2006
    Messages:
    2,305
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 17, 2009

    :eek:hmy: Praying for the whole situation; please keep us informed.
     
  13. WaProvider

    WaProvider Fanatic

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    2,661
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 17, 2009

    Yes, report and I totally agree that w/all that description Mom could have been asking for help.

    She also could have been when she told you to "take you time" after his storming off. That maybe something he never lets her take.
     
  14. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2008
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 17, 2009

    Talk to your school nurse, principal, or whomever does the formal reporting... do it first thing in the morning.
     
  15. mom2ohc

    mom2ohc Habitué

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2008
    Messages:
    974
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 17, 2009

    in nj - we are mandidated reporters, if we suspect and do not report, we can be sent to jail! call call call!
     
  16. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2007
    Messages:
    2,188
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 17, 2009

    BTW, that may have been the mom's way of asking for help.

    I think that is a very good point.
     
  17. lilmisses1014

    lilmisses1014 Comrade

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2007
    Messages:
    437
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 17, 2009

    Yikes-- definitely report it!! We were told a few times that even if we suspect something, we still have to report it.

    I hope everything goes well! :hugs:
     
  18. blessedhands

    blessedhands Comrade

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2004
    Messages:
    255
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 17, 2009

    Yup. Poor Mom must be exhausted and frightened like Johnny herself.

    Call them up indeed.
     
  19. 2inspire

    2inspire Companion

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2009
    Messages:
    155
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 17, 2009

    if you found the answer you were looking for I'd delete your OP also. When I reported a substantiated abuse case I was told not to discuss any of the particulars with anyone (by the police). You don't know yet if DFS will substantiate the claim yet but it never hurts to CYA.
     
  20. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2005
    Messages:
    13,854
    Likes Received:
    1,694

    Sep 18, 2009

    Good advice, 2inspire.
     
  21. teach2read10

    teach2read10 Companion

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2009
    Messages:
    209
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 18, 2009

    Absolutely

    Make the call. The child's behavior could be a response to abuse. Better safe than sorry. People who handle this every day are in a better position than we are to understand the whole story.
     
  22. Teacher_Lyn

    Teacher_Lyn Companion

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2008
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    2

    Sep 18, 2009

    OP?
     
  23. 3Sons

    3Sons Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2007
    Messages:
    2,004
    Likes Received:
    163

    Sep 18, 2009

    Yes, call. You are legally required to, of course, but even more critically there may be real abuse going on. I don't think the outburst at open house is evidence of it, but certainly the wife telling you she's "hitting" him and that she doesn't believe in it is evidence!

    If you don't make this call, when would you call? Would the child literally have to come in with broken bones, crying that his dad beat him up?
     
  24. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2005
    Messages:
    13,854
    Likes Received:
    1,694

    Sep 18, 2009

    Original post
     
  25. EMonkey

    EMonkey Connoisseur

    Joined:
    May 10, 2008
    Messages:
    1,592
    Likes Received:
    4

    Sep 19, 2009

    What the mom said does not sound like something that would be said under normal circumstance.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. bnunderwood,
  2. MissBee06
Total: 400 (members: 3, guests: 379, robots: 18)
test