Am I Over-Analyzing Her Comment?

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by YoungTeacherGuy, Apr 9, 2011.

  1. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Apr 9, 2011

    As many of you probably know from reading my posts, I love my students. I've kept in contact with many of my former students and it seems like no matter where I go, I run into kids who know me.

    Anyway, here's my story: Yesterday, one of my students invited me to his very first baseball game (which was this afternoon). This student has struggled behaviorally since Kindergarten; however, he and I have really connected and he has had a great year with me. During parent-teacher conferences, I encouraged mom to sign him up for a sport (mainly because he has so much energy and needs a fun/productive way to release it all). Thus, I was more than happy to attend his baseball game today. He was so proud to have his teacher cheering him on, too.

    At the game, I ran into a co-worker who has two sons on the same team. She asked me why I was at the game and I told her. She looked at me puzzled and said, "Oh...don't you get enough of these kids when we're at work???" I just sort of laughed it off, but she made me feel bad. Her comment may not seem rude as you're reading it, but the way she said it made me feel like I shouldn't have been there.

    I guess I'm not looking for advice or anything. I just wanted to get that off my chest. Maybe I'm being too sensitive. :confused:
     
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  3. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    In my opinion, I really don't think she meant it in a rude way, just that she herself does not want to spend any more time with her own students than inside the classroom. I think it's great that you are that dedicated to your kids to go to one of their events that's unrelated to you. You should be happy with yourself. :)
     
  4. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    One, I think it's great you were at his game. Just another example that we at A to Z do care about our students...

    Two, you're right in that it doesn't seem offensive to me, but I can also imagine a tone that would make you feel silly for being present. But, you were not silly for being there...period.
     
  5. nklauste

    nklauste Comrade

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    I had a foster brother a few years ago that played on the summer baseball league in our town and he invited the student teacher from his class to his game and when she came it was the only thing he would talk about for the next week! I'm sure you made this little guys week as well.
     
  6. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Everybody has to draw their own limit lines where they can feel most comfortable. To some people, the demands of their families outside of school take all their personal time and resources. To others, the chance to be instrumental in a student's life outside the classroom is something they are willing and able to do. Each person's temperament and circumstances is different. The other teacher was speaking for herself, and her truth obviously differs from yours. If you are both content with your own limits, that's fine. I wouldn't find any personal affront in her remark.
     
  7. Go 4th

    Go 4th Habitué

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    YTG--I think it's awesome that you went to the ball game! I bet the child will remember you being in the audience and cheering for him forever!

    As a ball park parent, I imagine the mom didn't mean anything by it. When I take my boys to practice, I see about 1/3 of my class, past students, students who want me next year, etc. Sometimes it seems as though I am always "on" in teacher mode. I imagine that is how it is for that mom. Don't get me wrong--I'm not complaining about it AT ALL! It's a great way to connect with parents and students.

    You made that child's day today. Don't over analyze the comment or let it take away from a special moment!
     
  8. TiffanyL

    TiffanyL Cohort

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    Apr 9, 2011

    YTG, you are a very positive thinker when it comes to your students and school in general. I think it probably shines through loud and clear to everyone around you, co workers included.

    Sometimes, when other teachers cannot make the same commitment, it leaves them feeling less valuable. That is not your intention....its their issue, not yours.

    I've often wanted to attend the kids' games as well but with my own family schedule, I can't quite pull that off.

    Maybe for your coworker, it was her own insecurities that led her to make the comment.

    I aggree with your frustration, however, as it seemed to be uncalled for.
     
  9. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    I honestly think it just sounds like a way to make small talk with you. I can understand the analysis because I would do the same thing, but it shouldn't make you feel badly.

    I did that for a student once and he talked about it at school for a week! I'm sure it made your student's week as well. :thumb:
     
  10. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I also think it's most likely "small talk", but it could be something more. Some view teaching as absolutely, positively only a job, and perhaps if she does she doesn't understand your desire to support this student outside of your contracted hours. I've had colleagues say similar things (because I'm at work so late things like "Don't you ever go home?" and "Don't you have a life?") but I know they're only teasing.
     
  11. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    I've done it for a student before & like the others have said they talk about it later!

    As a parent, my son had a teacher who would come to his baseball games, maybe once or twice. This same teacher would also come to the basketball games.

    The kids love it when they can see their teachers outside of school!
     
  12. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    That's my take on it as well, although maybe I'm being a bit harsh on the mother/coworker.

    As a student teacher last year and a regular teacher this year, I made it a point to go watch my "kids" at various sporting events; volleyball, basketball (my favorite), baseball, softball and even wrestling. I don't get to attend all the games or events, but I try to make at least two or three of each.

    Like others have said, it does make a BIG difference to the kids because it shows I care about them as a person rather than a body in a seat.
     
  13. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    This is how I took the comment as well, just small talk.

    It's great that you were able to go to this kid's game. That sort of thing shouldn't be expected of teachers but it's definitely nice when it happens.
     
  14. SCTeachInTX

    SCTeachInTX Fanatic

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    I go to my kids games all :thumb:the time. It just shows that I care in a world where teachers often are only at school doing a JOB. I want to reach out to parents as well and show that I care. It makes it easier when I have to make a phone call and get their help with homework, or behaviors. They know I care because I have gone the distance. Done. Feel good about it. I do!:D
     
  15. a2z

    a2z Virtuoso

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    My child had a teacher come to his game. He was thrilled. It made me know she cared even though her hands were tied by the administration with other issues.

    I can't comment on the co-workers comment. There were many possibilities put out by others from the co-workers insecurity for not being able to do the same, feeling teaching is a contract job, wanting to maintain distance outside of school, etc. Who knows.

    You may learn more with future interactions. What the co-worker says or doesn't say in school might give you more information. Either way, you can't do anything about it.

    If what you are doing feels right, just be happy and know you made the little boys heart sing!
     
  16. msmullenjr

    msmullenjr Devotee

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    Apr 10, 2011

    I doubt that she meant it as you are doing something wrong, maybe just an honest reaction to something she would never do. There are plenty of teachers who feel that way. I had a friend say almost the same thing to me when we were having a Saturday event and I asked her if she was going.

    You are great.
     
  17. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    She may have just had one of those "I can't WAIT for the weekend!!" weeks, and couldn't conceive of puttin an extra days with the kids at that particular moment in time.
     
  18. Pacificpastime

    Pacificpastime Companion

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    I agree. Its great that you went to a game. It shows you care and have an interest in the child, not just the student.
    As to the co-workers comment, she has two kids of her own kids, let alone her students. I am sure she meant no harm.
     

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