OK, maybe not upset, but annoyed. I have staff kids in my room this year and one of them wanted to be like the "homeroom mom" and start an e-mail list for parents to send them updates, etc. I agreed, but specifically said to her-please don't do anything like collect money for a gift for me (I know PTO uses their e-mail lists for that purpose). I just feel really uncomfortable putting people in the position where they have to give or they look bad to the other parents. And honestly, I love the little Dollar Store snowglobe that the kid picked out by themselves. One of my kids brought me an envelope today with money in it addressed to this teacher. I asked one of the other parents and she said this parent requested $10 from everybody. I know I should be thankful for whatever gift she's going to get-but I asked her not to do that. I am not collecting for the kids' Christmas party or anything because times are tough right now for these families. If I say something to her I know I'll sound ungrateful, but I just can't believe she did this! She knows me and knows it's something I would never do. Am I crazy?
I can see how it would upset you, but take it as a good thing. Obviously she and your parents want to do something nice for you. My advice is to be gracious, thank everyone profusely, and then manage your own email list from now on.
Sometimes, it's just something parents expect. It's quite possible she was hearing from other parents who were asking what the deal was on getting you a present. Are you crazy to be upset? No, but I wouldn't waste too much time being upset about it.
Yes, you have a right to be annoyed, not because she did something different from how you would do it, but because she did something you specifically told her not to do. This needs to be handled delicately. AFTER she's presented whatever gift, tell her you really do appriciate the thought and you LOVE whatever it is you got, but that you really need a homeroom parent that respects your wishes in these matters.
It's so hard, because I totally understand how you feel; I think the gesture is very, very thoughtful. That being said, well after the holidays have come and gone, you could sweetly ask her to please understand your position and to not pick up $$ for you. And do it with a big smile.
I think I'd be upset, but privately. Unfortunately, it's too late to stop this one. It was a well-meant gesture. Well before the end of the year, emphatically tell the person to not ask for money for anything.
Oh yeah, I'll be gracious. And I wouldn't say anything (except to vent here ) I know it's a done deal. Another friend of mine who teaches said parents wouldn't give if they didn't want to-I just think it's different when a parent asks-parents talk and I know they're probably afraid not to give and especially because she works there. I hate making them have that obligation. I know it sounds ungrateful-and I'm really not ungrateful. I just would never do that to someone. I know her well enough for her to know I'm so uncomfortable with it, plus I told her outright in the beginning. Oh well, thanks for commiserating!
I know where you are coming from, Kindercowgirl....that doesn't happen to me as a resource teacher, but my daughter's kindergarten room mom sent out a request for $$, and that didn't bother me so much as the updates with a list of who had given so far...... It is possible that she didn't mean any harm by it (maybe she was trying to let people know she got their money?), but yikes. We have an awesome kindergarten teacher, and she will be overwhelmed by the gift, and will probably feel uncomfortable. That said, maybe she didn't want 24 mugs with chocolates in them? If you have the cajones to re-iterate your wishes before the end of year, my congrats.
a cajón is a drawer... i think you meant cojones sorry, the spanish teacher in me can't let one that go!
Wow! Ten dollars from each kid??? Here at Christmas time when parents are trying to make their dollars stretch as far as they can!!!
I personally like the idea of having the drawers to ask someone something. One of the hispanic students who rotates into my room for writing told another student who didn't speak spanish that his paper was sh#tty. He didn't know that I speak spanish. So from the back of the room, I turned to him and told him in spanish and in a very quiet voice to stop being rude. The look of amazement on his face was priceless!
Hoot - I know, we are even a low SES school-I bought one of my kids a jacket this year because it's 40 degrees and his mom said he had lost the other one and they didn't have money to get a new one yet. One family's father just got laid off. We don't even charge that much for field trips because we know wallets are tight! Well, she and a parent brought the gift card down today. They called up all 8 kids whose parents paid and presented it to me (luckily they didn't understand at all what was going on-I'd hate for the other kids to feel badly). I was gracious but I'm going to take your advice and talk to her particularly before about April in case she's thinking of doing it again. She gave me a gift card to a restaurant-so I'd treat myself, and again taking the chance of sounding ungrateful-I don't eat out . She eats out 4 times a week. So I think this was all done because it's something she would like to have done herself. Oh well, I'm not losing sleep over it or anything, I just still can't believe she did this.
