Hi! I am a teacher and work with a paraprofessional. Today I found out she has been driving by our students houses at least 2-3 times per month (we only have 8 students). She says it's to make sure they're not getting into trouble. I have mixed feelings about it. This is my first time working with a paraprofessional, so I'm not quite sure, but is that something she should have talked to me about before actually driving by? I would have never recommended driving by that many times! I have been their teacher and just drove by their houses ONE time the entire year. I guess I'm just confused about the dynamic. Should my aide have confronted me about wanting to drive by & possibly visit? Or since its after school hours, is it kind of "her thing" because its on her own time? What's your opinion?
What is her purpose by going by their houses? If she's just driving by, then I don't see what confronting her about it would do. Is she actually going into their house and talking to the students? If this is the case, I would confront her about it and remind her about the boundaries between aide/student. If she continues, then I would let the principal know.
Hmm, that's a new one. I guess her motivation seems to be because she cares about the students, and realistically, as long as there is nothing illegal occurring, you can't stop someone from driving down certain streets. Is it normal? Eh, not sure about that. Do you have concerns about these students? If so, there are professionals whose job is to visit these homes, not a para. Have the parents noticed? If so, I would probably mention something to my principal, saying that you weren't sure how to handle the situation. Ask him or her for advice. Even if they haven't noticed, I would probably say something. Is this the only issue you have with this para? Does she seem to overstep her bounds at other times also? Have you talked to her about this? How did you find out? What good is driving by going to do, unless a child is outside getting into trouble? I would think about these questions before you make a move. As a parent, I would probably be annoyed if I saw school personel doing drive-bys.
Oh my gosh, I would be really mad! I don't think she should have gone to their houses without you there. Also, 2-3 times a month is very excessive! We don't make home visits where I am from. However, if I was a parent I would think it was really weird, almost borderline harassment, for someone from the school to come to my house uninvited that often. What did she mean by when she said she was making sure they didn't get in trouble? What age are the children?
Simply mention to her that as caring as her intentions may be, parents may not percieve it that way. It would be best to appreciate the privacy of students when they are out of our care.
It seems very strange to me to be driving by students' houses to just see if they are staying out of trouble. I have never driving by a students house. Unless of course it is on the main road and I have to, to get to where I am going.
I have done some "drive bys" Just to let the student know that I could stop by (we are encouraged to do home visits) I wave and smile and they then know I know where they live We have a large hispanic population and non English speaking parents BUT if a teacher shows up the parents know it is not a good thing most times
I agree that it's creepy..... I wouldn't want even my professor driving past my house at all. It's one thing if you are Ron Clark-ing it and go to meet the students before school when they know you are coming or it's during the day when parents are home and present. What your aide is doing is.....creepy.
You may want to just talk with her to find out why she's doing it. If she's just driving by, nothing else, than I wouldn't turn it into a big deal. If she's actually visiting the house, talking with the kids and parents, than I would have a problem with that since you are the students direct teacher and should be along for the visit.
I think it is creepy. Going that much is just odd. And her excuse doesn't really fit. I mean, how would going by their house determine if they were getting into any trouble? Does she expect to see them up to no good right on their lawn? Very strange.
I've never driven by my students' houses, looking to see what they are doing. Repeatedly. It sounds like other schools encourage this to a much lesser degree, but it's an unusual concept for me, because it's not something my school does. Do the parents know she is doing this (ie does she call and say, "Could I come by and talk to you about XYZ?") If not, I don't think it's appropriate. I guess she has every right to drive down public streets, but if a teacher/aide/friend/anyone was doing that to my kid, uninvited, I would NOT like it at all. (I don't actually have children yet, but I know that's how I'd feel.) Don't get me wrong. I think her intentions are probably really caring, but they could be misconstrued. I think cutNgule's advice is perfect. If your para argues, I might remind her that although I know she's a caring teacher who wants to help her students, it would be terrible if a parent filed some kind of complaint accusing her of inappropriate behavior. Who wants to deal with that nightmare?
Well let's just convict her now I admit it might be strange but is IT WRONG? IF she is just driving by and not stopping just what is wrong? My district takes a school bus around the district and shows new teachers what the district looks like. How about the: teacher who hugs a lot? ... a teacher who lives alone for 20 years ... teacher who is a barmaid or bartender on the weekends ... the teacher who lives with a boy friend or girl friend .... has a YouTube page that would make a momma blush... we can find many things that could be objected to.
If she's just driving by, who cares? If she's stopping and knocking on doors, that's a different story. My para has worked at the school for 27 years. She is friends with many of the families so she goes to their houses, has cook-outs, calls them... They are all close friends. So, in my situation, I wouldn't care... but your situation doesn't sound the same. Kelly
It sounds strange at first, but I agree with those saying if it's not harming anyone, it's nothing to confront her about. If you find that she is meeting with the children/families there is a situation to discuss, otherwise it's just a concerned teacher...
What I think I would do is carefully watch her for signs of any other curious activity. No, I don't think it's normal, but I also don't think she's doing anything overtly "wrong." To me, it reminds me of a stalker. I am not saying that is the case, but it was the first thought that entered my head. And, Dave, we have had teachers be removed because of inappropriate postings on both youtube and myspace.
She should have consulted with you first. She's working with you, so if a parent spotted her driving by several times a month--and it sounds like she might be doing it as much as once a week--the parent probably would have held you responsible, too.
You're right. She's not doing anything wrong/illegal and there is nothing to convict her of. Even so, I wouldn't like someone driving by my house, looking for my kid, every couple weeks. It just wouldn't "feel" right to me, and on some level, I'd wonder if she was suspicious of me or my kid for some reason. I think it's possible some students' parents would feel the same. If the parents know it's not just them, but that the teacher is visiting every student, then ... Oh, I'm trying to be OK with it, but I still wouldn't like it. I'm sorry. SheTeaches asked for opinions, and that's mine. I wouldn't want the para fired or anything, but I'd ask her to please stop checking out my house and kids several times a month. I think this situation is different from taking a new teacher for a drive to show him/her the district, and different from driving by once or twice a year. It's the frequency that I don't like. As for bartender teachers ... would they give me a discount on margaritas? I have no problem with that! :woot:
What about the kids who are driving by my house in their big yellow bus? Every day! Twice a day! Here they come, there they go! They know when my lawn is not mowed. They know if the cats are running around causing trouble. I think they are stalking me! I can't even go to Wal-Mart without them finding me! Being silly here. Just ask her if she stops in and visits. If she does, ask her if she knows them that well to just drop in. If not, I'd find some way to tell her that it may look like harassment.
I was going to the next town over to go shopping, but have to think twice about it now because of gas prices. The pantry is bare. I ate a peanut butter sandwich for supper. Maybe I can disguise myself. Big sunglasses, floppy hat....
I think spying and being concerned are two different things. Is this an urban school, where maybe the students are living in areas that might be dangerous? Our special ed teacher will walk by her students' apartments sometimes to make sure they are ok because they live in an extremely dangerous part of town. Sometimes parents aren't home, and it's nice to have a teacher who is looking out for you. I think a really great teacher/aide team doesn't distinguish the level of concern each should have for the students-if the teacher was concerned, would we be thinking it's weird that she drives by? Or is it just because it is an aide? The kids are lucky they have a caring adult. Just another side to look at.
Going by that often seems excessive to me. However, I remember being in college and one of my professors told me something I'll never forget. She said that at the beginning of the year we should make an effort to drive by (not stop by) each of our student's homes. She said that seeing where they live and where they come from will explain a lot of why they are the way they are. And it's too true. The kid who stole and hit everyone lives with 20 other siblings in a two bedroom house--she has to do those things at home just to survive. The kid who thinks you should kiss his feet lives in a home as big as the school and has every toy imaginable in his yard.
