Afraid to report traumatic incident w/ two students

Discussion in 'Debate & Marathon Threads Archive' started by miss newbie, Oct 2, 2011.

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  1. Jerseygirlteach

    Jerseygirlteach Groupie

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    Oct 4, 2011

    I am so very sorry you had to go through this. Since this is an anonymous site, I will say that I have been through very similar situations (although not as a teacher). I did NOT report it and I have always regretted that. You do not want to face these boys every day with them knowing that they got away with this and them thinking that it must be okay. You don't want to feel that you might have been able to prevent it if they do this or worse to someone else.

    No one is going to blame you. Please don't worry that a few days lapsed between when it happened and when you are reporting it. You are traumatized and ashamed (although you shouldn't be, it is a natural reaction). You needed a few days to process what happened. Please report it. I KNOW you will regret it if you don't.

    Again, I'm so very sorry that this happened.
     
  2. Joxepa

    Joxepa Rookie

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    Oct 4, 2011

    I am so sorry that happened to you. Please do report it. You should not be suffering the burden of that alone, and you certainly don't have to. I hope you find that courage within yourself, and stop blaming yourself for that. You did nothing wrong, and you need to get this out there so that you can free yourself from whatever guilt or pain you're feeling.
     
  3. isabunny

    isabunny Comrade

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    Oct 5, 2011

    Oh, I feel so sorry for you and I hope that after time you will recover from this incident. You are mandated, as a public servant, to report this incident. Your teaching credentials/certificate can be taken away or other actions can be taken by your state if they find that you didn't report.

    I really think the incident looks worse on you, the longer it takes you to report it. I know that sounds really harsh! Sorry! You shouldn't have to be in this situation, and I am so sorry that you are.... but please take the advice of all the teachers on this site and report the incident as soon as you can. It is imparitive that you do go to the headmaster as soon as possible. Write out everything you want to say beforehand, so you don't miss facts when you are under stress. I feel horrible for you! Prayers to you for a full recovery.....
     
  4. Letsgo

    Letsgo Rookie

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    Oct 5, 2011

    I'm so sorry to hear this. As the days pass, I pray that you find healing. If you haven't told anyone yet, it's not too late.
     
  5. smpeterson77

    smpeterson77 Rookie

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    Oct 5, 2011

    I'm praying for you! I can't imagine being in such a tough situation. Please, please report them, if you haven't done so already! In addition to stopping them from attacking others, you need to do this for you! Don't let them take away your sense of security, and your enjoyment of your job, and your ability to sleep at night!
    I hope this works out for you!
    Samantha
     
  6. queenie

    queenie Groupie

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    Oct 5, 2011

    Please report it. It's already happened to you- that can't be stopped. But having it happen to someone else can be stopped. Don't accept responsibility for their actions, either. Go straight to your leader and tell them what happened in a confident voice. Then the ball will be in his court. Don't assume he thinks you're lying or that you had poor judgment. Don't offer extra information. Just tell him what happened and that you were obviously traumatized and unsure what measures to take but have since come to the realization that if the boys would do that to an adult teacher that they might do it to someone else AND that you have since realized that it is your responsiblity to report sexual harassment in the school. Period. It's important to someone out there that doesn't even realize it yet.
     
  7. miss newbie

    miss newbie Rookie

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    Oct 5, 2011

    I did report it to my headmaster this morning, after confiding in a teacher whom I trust. He went with me when I reported it, and his presence helped me overcome my hesitation. You all have also helped me to see this as something that is not my fault. I blamed myself for being inexperienced, new to the profession, and naive. But I’m hoping that after this gets investigated, that maybe something good will come of it. It’s now in the administration’s hands – they said were going to question the two boys and document their responses. In the meantime, I saw those two today and they just seemed to carry on like nothing ever happened. I purposely avoided them and did not speak to them.

    You all are a supportive group, and I appreciate all your encouragement. Thank you so much.
     
  8. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    Oct 5, 2011

    I know we are a bunch of strangers on a board and most of us will never meet in person, but....

    I'm proud of you. I know that was hard to do, but it was the right thing to do.

    Do you belong to a union or professional organization? I'd also call them to ask what options you have in your state. That call will be easier than going to someone in person, but I'd want to know if there were legal channels I should go through as well.
     
  9. INteacher

    INteacher Aficionado

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    Oct 5, 2011

    thank you so much for updating!!

    I am so glad you were able to find someone to help support you and that you were able to report the incident. And I am so glad you know that what happened was NOT your fault. ((hugs))

    Please let us know what happens
     
  10. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Oct 5, 2011

    I am SO RELIEVED that you came to this decision. It wasn't an easy one but it was the correct one. We're here for you through the investigation.
     
  11. Marci07

    Marci07 Devotee

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    Oct 5, 2011

    Oh Gosh, I got chills just reading this. It even seems to me that this is a situation where the police should be involved and charges should be pressed. wow, I hope these kids get to suffer consequences for their actions, otherwise they can do this to another girl.
     
  12. Joy

    Joy Cohort

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    Oct 5, 2011

    You did the right thing by reporting it!!!
     
  13. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Oct 5, 2011

    HUGS! I so wish I could reach up and really give you one!
     
  14. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    Oct 5, 2011

    Good job - you did the right thing!
     
  15. miss tree

    miss tree Rookie

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    Oct 5, 2011

    You really did the right thing by reporting this, not just for the sake of future victims of these bullies but for your own reputation at the school. Once word got around that something like this happened and wasn't reported you would have found yourself targeted. The next time it happened it would have been much harder to explain why you didn't report the first incident, particularly as the boy/s would use the defence.."but so and so did......and nothing happened to them." Good on you for having the strength to stand up for youself, you will be a much better teacher for it.
     
  16. smpeterson77

    smpeterson77 Rookie

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    Oct 6, 2011

    Good for you! I can imagine how hard it must have been. Hugs!!!
    Samantha
     
  17. queenie

    queenie Groupie

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    Oct 6, 2011

    Thank you for reporting it!! I know it was difficult, and it was a very brave thing to do. But just telling someone it happened gets it out of the dark and must make you feel a little relieved. PLUS you never know what you've done for the next victim AND for the boys themselves. They have to learn that they can't get away with acting like that. Again, thank you, thank you, thank you! :hugs:
     
  18. MissMatty

    MissMatty Rookie

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    Oct 9, 2011

    I am so proud of you! I understand how hard it must be, not only to report it but to go back every day and see those boys.

    On a personal note when I was a student I was raped after school on school grounds. Reporting it and going back was really hard, I was also worried I would somehow get in trouble.

    You are very brave.
     
  19. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Oct 9, 2011

    MissMatty, you too were very brave. Hugs.
     
  20. MissMatty

    MissMatty Rookie

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    Oct 9, 2011

    Aw, thanks. It seems like so long ago now. And for the record, I never once regretted reporting it. It made me feel strong to know that I spoke out.

    Even now students try to torture me, and I just think to myself 'I have been though worse than this, you can not break me', and its totally true. Miss Newbie, one day the same will be true for you.
     
  21. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Oct 9, 2011

    So glad you had a colleague with whom to seek support. Good for you for reporting!
    This experience was troubling and traumatic, but you will be stronger for the way you handled it.
     
  22. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Oct 10, 2011

    I'm coming in a couple days late... But so glad you reported it & with someone that helped you along with the process. Remain strong through it as well!!!
     
  23. Joyful!

    Joyful! Habitué

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    Oct 10, 2011

    How are things going for you now? Are you feeling okay at school? Have you had residual issues? I just want you to know that we continue to think of you, support you and pray for you. :hugs:
     
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