About ready to strangle Adult daughter!!!!!

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by txmomteacher2, Dec 8, 2014.

  1. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Connoisseur

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    Dec 8, 2014

    Back in October I got my daughter a job at my school. She works in the computer lab. She is only staying until January when she can go back to school which I think is a huge mistake. (she has her bachelors now she wants to work on masters) This weekend she went out of town to see some friends who live about 4 hours from us. She hasn't seen these friends since they graduated 5 years ago. I texted her yesterday at 4 and said are you on your way? Her reply was no not yet but I know I have work tomorrow so I will soon. At 11 she finally texted me to say she was on her way home. She gets in at 2:30. Then she doesnt want to get up this morning for work. I tell her get up and get going because she was the one who made the mistake of staying out late. Well of course she falls back to sleep and guess what? Doesn't call in or bother to come into work. I am so dang mad at her. My prinicpal was mad at her, the secretary was mad at her, I am mad at her. She wants to be treated like an adult and reminds me everyday she is an adult but then does this. UGhhh She isn't going to loose her job over it, but it just doesn't look good. Just need to vent!!!!!
     
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  3. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Oh no. So how are they at your workplace, the whole 3 strikes & you're fired?

    I assume she's in her early 20s. I never did anything like that in my life, but I hope she straightens up & takes things a lot more seriously.
     
  4. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Connoisseur

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    She is 24, young, and extremely smart but I am still going to kick her butt when I get home!!!!! lol She will be leaving in January anyway but I am still not a happy Mom.
     
  5. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Oh that stinks. I was always worried about being late or confusing a date when I subbed!! I can't imagine doing this.... I'd hate to be in her shoes when you got home!!!

    I know when I graduated HS I got a bad sinus infection the day before I was to start 3rd shift.. I went my mom said how was it... I said awful because my face hurt & my job required me to look down the whole 8 hours!!!! UGH!!! She said you could've called in....I said not on my first night!!!
     
  6. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    She is 24 and you aren't her keeper any more. She needs to learn to stand on her own two feet and suffer the consequences of her actions.

    Would you still want to ream her out if she worked someplace else?

    You will still be mad, but I don't think you should say anything to her. I think she still has the mentality that mom will clear up things for her (since you work in the same place and she still lives at home)
     
  7. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Connoisseur

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    Oh I didn't clear anything up for here at work!
     
  8. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    My mom would not be happy & probably say something about it where ever I worked....
    The place I was referring to was where my mom works...she works in the offices & I was in the factory!!!
     
  9. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    For a while I subbed in the building where my mom worked. I made SUPER sure I was always on time and never had any attendance issues or any other issues for that matter. I know she would try to cover for me but I never wanted to put her in that situation. It was so weird seeing my mom at work LOL
     
  10. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    :lol::lol::lol:
     
  11. vickilyn

    vickilyn Magnifico

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    When I subbed, I was usually in the same building with my son. There was only one rule that he knew I was VERY serious about - don't ever do anything that I will hear about in the teacher's room during the day. I had seen other subs be informed of mistakes, failures, and bad behavior, and I figured that the least he could do was not make some teacher so mad that I had to hear about it before I could eat my lunch! That is what this is like for you - since she is acting like a child, you are reverting to mom behavior. Can't say that I blame you - jobs don't just grow on trees, and all employers deserve respect.

    I always hate when my son decides to stay later than he should have and then try to weasel out of it by suddenly being too sick to work. I have learned to put some distance between what I know to be the absolute truth and his excuses and mistakes. He is grown, and I probably did things similar but my parents never knew about them. It is hard when they live at home to feign ignorance. Just keep telling yourself that this is her reputation, not yours, and if it is the worst thing she ever does, you will be a very lucky mother!

    All will be OK, one way or another.
     
  12. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Even at my age (32), my mom still gives me lectures!

    The other day, I texted her to tell her I took a mental health day.

    Her first few questions were: Why? Where are you going? What if someone sees you out and about? What if you get in trouble?

    Seriously, mom??? :lol:
     
  13. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    That is always the tricky part about being the second generation in and work situation. I student taught in the district where my parents taught. You KNOW I was always early and professional. The one time I stayed out far too late carousing, I forced myself to come in and slammed a lot of Advil. My last name came with a weight of responsibility, even if I wasn't an official teacher.
     
  14. kellzy

    kellzy Comrade

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    My mother and grandparents always told me, "You bear the name and legacy of your ancestors. Be sure that you never do anything to that will make them hang their heads in shame."

    Five generations ago all my ancestors, most of whom were European nobility, wealthy Europeans, or wealthy Americans sold everything they owned, moved westward across the US with the LDS church and spent much of the rest of the life in squalor. Few years have gone by since there was economic stability among my ancestors; I think they would be ashamed if I didn't work my hardest at any job I had.

    When I'm tempted to be lazy at work or take shortcuts, I think about whether or not my ancestors would 'hang their heads in shame' at that decision.
     
  15. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Oh my! I would be so upset as well. I never quite understand when adults do things like that. Yeah, she´s young but old enough to know better and old enough to do the correct thing. This year we had a teacher not come in one day...He hadn´t called or anything. The P was very unhappy. I forget exactly what the situation was and why he didn´t make contact. Last year we had another teacher who also didn´t show up one day. He later said he´d contacted our P through that LinkedIn site, which is odd because they never communicate through there, not to mention that would never be an acceptable form to communicate you can´t come in....
     
  16. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    My dad would have reamed me out if I had pulled a stunt like that!!!!!! I would have been a LOT better off dragging into work than facing the blessing out I would have gotten from him if I didn't.

    Even when I was just working at McDonald's, he expected me to be at work at least 20-30 minutes BEFORE my shift started.

    While I often went "cruisin" in town on the weekend till 1am or so, it was only a 10 minute drive home and another 10 minutes back to McD's. It was ROUGH when I worked the opening shift and had to be there at 5:30am and only had 3 hours sleep, but I still made it.
     
  17. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    Ouch! I would be livid as well. I can't imagine doing that in any job.
     
  18. HistoryVA

    HistoryVA Devotee

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    Ok, well, since everyone else is apparently perfect ;) I'll admit to messing up a few times in my late teens/early 20s. I was never much of a partier, but I went through a stretch of years where I would sleep through any alarm. I would try my hardest, but there were a couple of times I slept through three alarms going off at once and after a few times trying, my mom would give up and let me suffer the consequences. I 'no-called, no-showed" a couple of time (well, "no-showed, frantically called 4 hours later"ed) and still managed to turn out as a fairly decent adult.

    She'll learn and she'll grow up. Give your feedback and everyone move on.
     
  19. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    At 24 I was the mom of two young ones and had a full time teaching job. My husband and I scraped by and I couldn't afford to "not call in". I'm far from perfect but I was never irresponsible when it came to my professional life. I'd be mad as well if this were my daughter.
     
  20. WarriorPrncss

    WarriorPrncss Companion

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    I'm 27 and my mom does that, too. She's super bad about it.


    I've always been overly aware of how I act in public and especially aware when my family is involved. My sister is totally the opposite and gives my mom constant grief. The one thing I always remind her is not to enable her, don't help EVERY time she whines about needing help or she'll never grow up. Though, it sounds like you are keeping a distance, which is good. Hopefully she'll learn.
     
  21. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    I laughed at your early comment...as an athlete in school we were told by coaches to be early for getting taped stretched & ready to go. He closed the doors which were locked from outside (you could get out but not in) on one of our starters because she got there when practiced started!
     
  22. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Connoisseur

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    Well the secretary was a little over dramatic when she told me how mad the principal was. My principal came to me yesterday and assured me yes was she upset with her but would have handled it better than the secretary. In fact the principal loves her so much that she is offering her a teaching position starting in January! WOW! Now we just gotta get her in ALT CERT program and her content test taken all before the end of January.
     
  23. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Glad everything worked out for her!
    I don't think anyone was saying that they never made a mistake EVER. Staying out late is a personal decision and so is calling out of work. I wouldn't fault anyone for responsibly calling out sick if they felt they needed to but you end up letting others down if you don't let someone know you won't be in.
     
  24. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Exactly... you have to be responsible for yourself & the others your choice may impact!!!!

    I know I would go out dancing until 2am & then go to work a 1st shift....My mom never knew how I would do it!!!! LOL!!!!
     
  25. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Yeah, I did that too after college. I had a night job until 10pm then went out with friends til 2. It's easy when you're young!
     
  26. MikeTeachesMath

    MikeTeachesMath Devotee

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    Once I started getting involved in professional theatre, my time management got a whole lot better.

    "If you're early to rehearsal, you're on time. If you're on time, you're late. If you're late, you're dead."
     
  27. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    No doubt!!! Lol!
     
  28. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    That was like my coach....but you're late you ride the pine! Lol!
     
  29. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Lauren's soccer team once started a tournament semi-final game with only 8 players on the field. The coach told the girls they wouldn't start if they weren't ready to hit the field 45 minutes before game time. He held firm.
     
  30. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    My mom was the type of person who was always late for everything and if she had to drive me somewhere I ended up being late. I think that's why I am always trying to be early everywhere I go LOL People started telling her things started an hour earlier than it really did so she'd be on time :lol:
     

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