A parent who thinks their child is lazy....

Discussion in 'General Education' started by ecteach, Oct 12, 2015.

  1. ecteach

    ecteach Devotee

    Joined:
    May 25, 2012
    Messages:
    1,146
    Likes Received:
    65

    Oct 12, 2015

    I handle all initial referrals for special education at my school. The other day I had a meeting that I am still thinking about. This child is in elementary school, and is far behind grade level. The child obviously has some sort of issue going on. I suspect a mild intellectual disability.

    When we met with the parents last week, they were so hard on the child. They were calling him lazy, a "mess," and also kept saying how much we as the school personnel were being "played" by their son.

    This child is super sweet, and really just struggles. The classroom teacher is very strict on all of her students, and the parents asked her to be stricter. My heart hurts for this child. At first I thought it was just a coping strategy for the parents, but now I truly believe that they really think these things about their child. It's the furthest thing from the truth. He tries so hard! The classroom teacher and I both said tons of good things about him, but it's as if they just couldn't hear it.

    Another odd thing is that these are seemingly awesome parents. They have three kids at our school, and the mom is always volunteering. So, then I thought that maybe they were just embarrassed by their child possibly needing special ed. But, that can't be the case because one of their other children gets served through our program.

    How would you approach this situation? I really don't want the child to be punished because he is being tested. Sigh. Help!
     
  2.  
  3. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Messages:
    8,318
    Likes Received:
    1,440

    Oct 12, 2015

    Hold off saying or doing anything until you have test results. Like I tell my students, you need to back your assertions with evidence. It might be that because this child has a different disability than his sibling, they think it's not a disability at all. The results will confirm things one way or the other.
     
    smalltowngal likes this.
  4. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2010
    Messages:
    4,330
    Likes Received:
    569

    Oct 12, 2015

    I agree with catnfiddle. You may be 100% correct. But the parents know a side of the child that you don't know, just as the teacher knows a side that they don't. He might be lazy at home and they are assuming his issues at school stem from the same behavior. It might be he is lazy AND has a disability and they assume that laziness is the only cause.
     
    readingrules12 likes this.
  5. teacherpippi

    teacherpippi Habitué

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    950
    Likes Received:
    29

    Oct 12, 2015

    I agree with the PP- wait until things come back and encourage them to do the same. Could it be that they're embarrassed or would rather have their child be labeled lazy over a disability?

    Many children are capable, on their best day and with few distractions, to do more than on a typical day. A child can be capable and still unable to do the work because of external or internal factors.
     
  6. readingrules12

    readingrules12 Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2010
    Messages:
    3,013
    Likes Received:
    470

    Oct 12, 2015

    I so agree with this!
     
  7. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2007
    Messages:
    17,362
    Likes Received:
    46

    Oct 13, 2015

    I am about to test a student that sounds just like the one you describe. This student is already receiving services through speech; however, he is about to be dismissed. There is something else there though. He's been through interventions that he is not progressing in. Many of the staff say that he doesn't progress because he is lazy, but some say that he could be lazy because he knows that he's not 'getting it'. I have not met with the parents yet so I am not sure what their take on their student's situation is.

    I do agree with cat though and wouldn't say anything until test results are in hand and you can clearly show them that he has a disability because x,y, and z.
     
  8. Backroads

    Backroads Aficionado

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2010
    Messages:
    3,286
    Likes Received:
    1,637

    Oct 13, 2015

    Cat really answered it. Once you have data, you're more likely to convince the parents.

    I have a kid in my class in a similar situation. We're nowhere near testing him (he's in 2nd grade and new to the school) but he's on a kindergarten level. His parents are awesome in so many ways, but rather old-school Mexican Catholic and really think this kid just isn't trying. They act like taking away some video game priviledges here and there will fix everything. Personally, I don't think he's lazy as much as he's probably immature and possibly has a learning disability.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. Backroads
Total: 460 (members: 1, guests: 441, robots: 18)
test