2nd grade student with School Phobia Help!

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by teach2nd, Dec 26, 2008.

  1. teach2nd

    teach2nd New Member

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    Dec 26, 2008

    Starting when I get back from X-mas break I'm getting a student with what seems to be school phobia and some separation anxiety. She is coming from next door from a teacher that couldn't take it anymore. The mom may be part of the problem. The mom drops her off at the door every morning (keep in mind this is a 2nd grade) and when the mom tries to leave the little girl runs around the room crying loudly and tries to leave the room. It got to the point where the school let the mom come into the classroom and sit all day with her. She was fine up until special area and then she complained of stomach aches and they would let her skip special area. She won't go into the cafeteria either because her mother says it is "too loud." So she will eat outside with her mother. So basically whatever the mom or the student wants they have been getting so far. They tried slowly making the mom leave the classroom little by little but it didn't work. The mom basically put the blame on the teacher and principal claiming that they are making her child scared. I personally think the mom is making the little girl anxious and enabling her behavior. It got to a point to where the mom was ask to only stay in the room for a short period of time and the mom wouldn't listen and when the mom would finally leave the room she would go and volunteer in the library. The mom wanted the child moved (and so did the teacher) so I am getting her. I told the principal that I don't want the mom dropping her off at the door, eating with the child at school, and no volunteering at the school because I feel that is only making things worse. I really don't know what else to do. I've been trying to do research. Any suggestions?:confused:
     
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  3. bballlady

    bballlady Rookie

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    Dec 26, 2008

    I would strongly set the ground rules before this girl steps one foot in your room. If you allow the mother one inch she will take a mile. There should be a meeting between you, the principal, mother, and if needed, the school psychologist before the girl enters your room and all rules need to be laid out and the consequences stated if they are broken. We had a similar situation in our school two years ago. The father would sit outside the classroom and the door was left open. The teacher ended up taking a leave of absence at the end of the year because she was so afraid of saying or doing something that the father would hear. (not that she would have) The children had about 5 different subs in order to finish the year. Our principal and superintendent would not stand up to this parent. It was a terrible situation for all. Thankfully a new principal came on board the following year and the situation was stopped. (I think the parent was told that there were too many complaints from other parents and if need be the situation might have to go to court)
     
  4. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Dec 26, 2008

    This needs to be handled on an administrative level.

    Are ALL the kids allowed to have their parents in class all day long?? Is your school capable of handling classes of 22 kids and 23 adults??

    Of course not.

    This woman's continual presence in school is probably the root of her daughter's many problems. Someone needs to take a stand. (Though I don't hold out much hope if the principal hasn't this far.)

    I know it's a serious over-reach, but my first reaction to your post was Munchausen by Proxy:


    "Individuals with Munchausen by proxy syndrome use their child (or another dependent person) to fulfill their need to step into the patient role. The disorder most commonly victimizes children from birth to eight years old. Parents or caregivers with MSBP may only exaggerate or fabricate their child's symptoms, or they may deliberately induce symptoms through various methods, including poisoning, suffocation, starvation, or introducing bacteria into open wounds. They often display an extraordinary depth of medical knowledge and may even be in the medical profession themselves."
     
  5. Go 4th

    Go 4th Habitué

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    I agree with the idea of setting up a meeting with everyone, but I would also include the child. She needs to know what is going to be acceptable and what isn't. If she sees that you are all working together, it will help a lot. Our school psychologist sees kids on a weekly basis--maybe you could set up appointments with yours for this child for the first couple of weeks, just to help with the transition. If she is truely scared, maybe give her some type of trinket to secretly hold to help her soothe herself. Try teaching her some self soothing tips. Unless mom plans on home schooling, something has to be done now.

    The more I think about the MSBP, the more I wonder. Something is definately not right with the mom. Was she like this in K and 1st?

    Good luck.
     
  6. teach2nd

    teach2nd New Member

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    Dec 26, 2008

    No she didn't have this problem in first grade...except when it came to P.E. (which she doesnt' like). I thougt it may be MSBP also...we are planning a meeting when we get back...I think the girl should be there also. Thanks for all you help :)
     
  7. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Dec 27, 2008

    You might want to suggest that the child's pediatrician be included as well. He or she is probably the person with the best overall view of the child's background.
     
  8. DaTeach

    DaTeach Comrade

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    Dec 27, 2008

    I have had a child similar to that a few years ago....her mother walked her to the door EVERY day even in 4th grade. After her mother left, she would cry. If I changed her seat, she'd cry...anything changed, she'd cry. At first, I tried to comfort her....it got to be an all day thing. I eventually started ignoring the behavior. It wasn't easy at first, even the kids would tell me she was crying when I was TRYING to ignore it. I finally told them to ignore the behavior because that was what I was trying to do. I told them not to alert me anymore! Eventually she stopped crying. Her parents thanked me later for helping her to mature because she had been doing this since KG. Some may have considered it mean, but the behavior was basically a handicap for the child. How long was it to go on? I can understand a few anxious moments at the first of the year, but good grief...crying every day over nothing......sheesh!

    This year I have a room full of students who are either an only child, or they are the youngest child in the family. They were crying or faking sick almost every day. They finally stopped that in my room....but when we exchange classes, they do the same thing in the other teacher's room! When I get my homeroom back, someone's gone home sick at least a couple of times a week. If you are that sick, go see a specialist to find out what the problem is!!! Even the pee wee football players...I told them I was going to have to talk to their coaches.....They didn't like that one bit! You play football for heaven's sake....why cry so much? In my opinion, 4th graders are too old for that kind of behavior!
     
  9. DaTeach

    DaTeach Comrade

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    Dec 27, 2008

    That is so messed up!
     

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