‘Helicopter’ parents have neurotic kids

Discussion in 'General Education' started by maya5250, Jun 4, 2010.

  1. maya5250

    maya5250 Comrade

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  3. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Jun 4, 2010

    I read that the other day. I think this gets filed under the "well DUH" studies.
     
  4. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Jun 5, 2010

    I completely agree with that study. This year I had one particularly aggravating helicopter parent. She texted me every morning to let me know what kind of mood her child was in and other things I may need to know that day. The child was almost normal intelligence and completely physically able to handle things like any other 5th grader. Her daughter would have accidents and she expected me to change the girl (11 years old). The girl was perfectly capable of changing her own clothes, and that's what she did. I was expected to regularly comb the girls hair and wash her hands. I was even supposed to tie a napkin around her neck at lunch. The child could not think for herself and when she dropped her pencil, she expected us to pick it up for her. The mom would hang around outside the cafeteria at lunch time looking in the windows to see what we were doing to help her daughter and report to the office regularly if she felt we weren't being attentive enough to the girl's needs. The office adopted the "smile sweetly and thank her for coming in " attitude. It goes on and on...but we never did any of those things for the girl. She could either do things for herself or get a buddy to help. In my classroom one of our major emphasis' is teaching independence. My children need to be able to function as well as possible in mainstream society and if we enable them it only teaches them dependence, not independence.Thankfully, the child (actually a sweet natured young lady) is now moving on to middle school and the parent can now try her helicoptering on another set of teachers.
     
  5. HeatherY

    HeatherY Habitué

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    Jun 6, 2010

    Woah swansong1! That is nuts!
     
  6. BioAngel

    BioAngel Science Teacher - Grades 3-6

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    Jun 6, 2010

    I too have gotten into issues where parents will go complain to the headmaster when I've been trying to teach students to be independent-- whether that is by doing something on their own or when I won't answer a question but I'll prompt them and ask them to think it through. By the end of the year, I see that most of my students are great independent thinkers and I refuse to back down on teaching students this way.

    I sorta had a half and half when it came to how I was raised. I come from a traditional family and I know my parents raised my sister and I that way because we were girls. My parents never raised hell when it came to school but were protective of us in other ways, which I still feel affected us both socially and emotionally. Hence it was a difficult transition for me when I went to college and also again when I moved out with my sister about 1.5 hours away from my parents. It's been almost 3 years since I moved out and I'm doing fine now-- I wonder how much more difficult it would have been had I had real helicopter parents.
     
  7. Missy99

    Missy99 Connoisseur

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    Jun 6, 2010

    BioAngel, I know someone from a similar background as yours. Unfortunately, she never broke the cord. She is still very dependent on her folks, although she says she hates the way she was raised. Sadly, she is going to let her mother care for her baby while she works.
     
  8. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Jun 6, 2010

    One of the teachers I work with was in trouble all the time this year because of helicopter parents. She was preparing students for high school and beyond and the parents thought she was being too hard on their babies. She's a great teacher!

    I was raised in a traditional family, but my parents always sided with the teacher/school.
     
  9. BioAngel

    BioAngel Science Teacher - Grades 3-6

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    Jun 6, 2010

    Well I'm sure if she could raise her child on her own, she would-- its a very difficult decision and regardless of how my own parents raised me, I would still trust them to raise my child in a loving way compared to a stranger at a day care.

    I think what helped me be okay was that my Mom did teach me how to clean up the house, organize and plan, and cook. Those are skills that I still turn to when I'm anxious about something-- so while my social skills may suck, I turn to taking care of stuff around the house to calm myself. It's been helpful to have my boyfriend around since his parents taught him to be very independent and he reminds me that I can easily solve a lot of problems on my own without turning to my parents.
     
  10. bros

    bros Phenom

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    Jun 6, 2010

    My parents only raised hell when the school screwed me over with regards to sped stuff (So basically all of high school my parents were yelling at the special services department for their incompetence)
     
  11. Teacher_Lyn

    Teacher_Lyn Companion

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    Jun 7, 2010

    Ugh, do they ever. My pet peeve with some hellicopter parents is that whenever there is an issue instead of talking to ME, the teacher, they go straight to the office and demand to speak with the principal, or they'll tell the secretaries the situation, get misinformation from the secretaries and then come to me all big and bad and upset. ARGH!

    I have two hellicopter parents in my class. The first is horrible because she does all the aforementioned stuff. The second isn't bad at all because even though, yes, they are all over their kid and me, it's legitimate concerns and they come to me first. Granted, it's often, but still.
     

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