Do you expect paras to call you by your last name?

[waterfall]

Today at lunch I was eating with one of my teammates and my para came up to talk to me about something. My teammate apparently thought it was offensive that she called me by my first name and was "speaking to me so casually even though I'm the teacher and she's the para." This seemed to really, really bother him. He thought it was very rude. It would have never even crossed my mind. We're both adults! Of course I expect her to use my last name in the classroom but not in situations with only adults. Is it like this at your school?

[czacza]

I can't imagine a teammate ever questioning a teacher and para's collegial relationship.
Your teammate is rude.

[donziejo]

No, I share a para and she runs the department . She's been there for a million years. I had to beg and bribe to get her to help me 30 minutes a week. She calls us by our first name and all of us call her by her last name. She's pretty scary

[YoungTeacherGuy]

All paras at my site refer to me as "Mr. ____"

...except for one. She has known me since I was a kid, so she always calls me by my first name.

I honestly don't care what they call me, though--as long as they do a good job!

[FT2012]

I'm disgusted by your co-worker and I hope that doesn't offend you. I was a para for 5 years while I was getting my bachelor's and master's degree in education. It's rude to assume that someone is less than you because you have a different educational background or qualifications. You are right; you're all adults working together for the good of the students in your school. You are co-workers, what's the big deal?

Paras are just as important as teachers IMO. Most schools could not function without dedicated support staff (many that go above and beyond their job requirements).

I'm so glad I worked in a school that respected me. I was treated very well as a para at my old school. In fact, I was often asked my opinion when working with the students. My teacher and I had an AWESOME relationship and we called each other by our first names! I think the fact that we related to each other as adults and co-workers that were trying to accomplish the same goal (student success) that we had such an amazing classroom environment.

The kids use to ask if we were best friends outside of school. It's so sad to think a teacher feels this way.

[YoungTeacherGuy]

Originally Posted by FT2012

Paras are just as important as teachers IMO.

You're 100% correct!

[waterfall]

I was surprised at his reaction. Then again, I don't call the principal by her last name which some might think is rude. He's hispanic so I wondered if it was cultural.

[DizneeTeachR]

When I student taught we had a para in the classroom...she called us by our last names (just as we did to her) in front of the students otherwise it was our first names. I had no problem with it and neither did the classroom teacher.

[Proud2BATeacher]

If your co-worker was offended by that I am wondering what he would think of one of my student's calling me Ms. firstname . We used to go by first names in my school a few years ago and switched to last names with a change in principal and he hasn't been able to switch over. In the past I also went with a parent and student on a visit to a developmental pediatrician to support her when her child got a diagnosis of autism (I was a spec. ed. consultant at the time). After the visit the student called me Aunty firstname whenever I saw him at school and I couldn't break him from it. It was actually a honor to be called Aunty in their culture.

[geoteacher]

In the classroom and in front of students we both use last names. In other places I don't care what she calls me. I actually knew her years before I taught in the district.