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  #1  
Old 03-17-2011, 11:38 AM
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lnm130 lnm130 is offline
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2nd Grade Teacher
Inappropriate comments

So this is the second time this has happened.

Students at my school are making inappropriate comments about me. I have heard one, been told about another by a faculty member, and yet another by one of my students. (the students making the comments are older, 5-7 grades)

They are commenting on my looks, and I really just don't understand it. I don't dress in an inappropriate way. I just don't know how to handle this. I have let my principal know, but don't know that there are other steps to be taken.

Just looking to vent and possibly some advice...thanks for listening.
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  #2  
Old 03-17-2011, 11:43 AM
2ndTimeAround 2ndTimeAround is offline
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I'm sorry.

Inappropriate is so subjective. I hope that the adults that are hearing this are speaking to the students at the time.

Honestly, though, I think it is something that pretty, young teachers are going to have to expect, regardless of how they dress. You could wear a tent and you'd still get some comments. Boys that age are starting to get really attracted to women and once they get in a group they'll just bounce things off of each other.

Doesn't make it right, but I would suspect it is normal.

As long as your idea of inappropriate and mine are the same, of course.
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Old 03-17-2011, 11:47 AM
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Caesar753 Caesar753 is offline
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Your coworker shouldn't be telling you rude things that students say about you. Students say rude things about lots of their teachers. It's just what they do. Unless they're saying it to your or in your presence, I think you just need to let it go.
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Old 03-17-2011, 12:23 PM
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Major Major is offline
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You teach the 2nd grade but the comments are coming from 5th, 6th and 7th graders,right? You heard one comment yourself. What did you do to correct the boy?

Just curious, are the inappropriate comments complimentary or uncomplimentary in nature (if that makes sense)?

(BTW, I still remember "Mrs. Schultz" from when I was in the 4th grade...... She was one good looking teacher....I think I loved her..)
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Old 03-17-2011, 12:43 PM
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lnm130 lnm130 is offline
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The comments aren't rude, persay, just leave me unsettled and uncomfortable. I'm actually VERY self concious, especially in the neighborhood in which I teach.

I told him that there are appropriate ways and inappropriate ways to tell a girl she is cute or pretty. He continued to make comments that just are not ok, after I spoke to him. I wrote him up for documentation purposes. (Principal was out)

The boys have looked me up and down and done the whole 'mmm mmm mmmm' thing, one was talking to his sister (my student) and told her that I was sexy because of XYZ, and the third student has been making similar comments to other students.

So I suppose they are complimentary, but these kids are as big as I am, and it is just uncomfortable I suppose to have the kids make the comments.

I have a second grader ask me to marry him on a daily basis, and that's cute. But these comments are more crude. I'm also used to my 'little' kids.
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Old 03-17-2011, 12:49 PM
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Ms. I Ms. I is offline
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Sorry this is happening to you. Hopefully, teachers say something as they hear the kids' comments.

Now, I don't want to just say, "Boys will be boys." They should definitely have respect for adults in authority over them who are teachers (or others) who are there to help them succeed. I don't really work w/ teenagers hardly, but I guess at that age, they'll comment more not just about their female classmates, but most female teachers who are young & probably pretty good-looking in their eyes.

The real problem gets to be when it's all around the whole campus that you are known to be the "hot" teacher, etc. & none of the kids take you seriously. But, I totally agree that you should write up anyone not behaving the way they should. It concerns me w/ what kind of men these guys will grow up to be...crude & crass is what I worry about, like the world doesn't have enough problems.

I hope this all dies down soon.
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Old 03-17-2011, 12:55 PM
EdEd EdEd is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lnm130 View Post
The comments aren't rude, persay, just leave me unsettled and uncomfortable. I'm actually VERY self concious, especially in the neighborhood in which I teach.

I told him that there are appropriate ways and inappropriate ways to tell a girl she is cute or pretty. He continued to make comments that just are not ok, after I spoke to him. I wrote him up for documentation purposes. (Principal was out)

The boys have looked me up and down and done the whole 'mmm mmm mmmm' thing, one was talking to his sister (my student) and told her that I was sexy because of XYZ, and the third student has been making similar comments to other students.

So I suppose they are complimentary, but these kids are as big as I am, and it is just uncomfortable I suppose to have the kids make the comments.

I have a second grader ask me to marry him on a daily basis, and that's cute. But these comments are more crude. I'm also used to my 'little' kids.
I read your initial comments, but after having read these your experiences definitely fall into a sexual harassment area - not sure "legally" since they are kids, but if they are in the middle school age range, comments that are that specific and that public to me would warrant multiple day suspensions. Yes, boys will think that, but uttering the comments publically is totally different. I would probably make a fairly big deal out of it, if not for your sake for the purpose of helping the kids - if they continue to do things like that, they will end up in a lot more trouble.
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Old 03-17-2011, 01:00 PM
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Caesar753 Caesar753 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EdEd View Post
I read your initial comments, but after having read these your experiences definitely fall into a sexual harassment area - not sure "legally" since they are kids, but if they are in the middle school age range, comments that are that specific and that public to me would warrant multiple day suspensions. Yes, boys will think that, but uttering the comments publically is totally different. I would probably make a fairly big deal out of it, if not for your sake for the purpose of helping the kids - if they continue to do things like that, they will end up in a lot more trouble.
Agreed. When I posted earlier, it was based on your initial post which didn't make reference to any sort of sexual comments, at least not that I recall.
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Old 03-17-2011, 01:01 PM
Sshintaku Sshintaku is offline
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I am a younger teacher in a high school, and boys try to do similar things. I suppose you could be rougher on the older kids, but I definitely put them in their place. Occasionally, "low blows" have served me well and stopped the issue cold.

For example, I got a new kid. We were writing poems about our neighborhoods/places we've lived. I checked on him and asked him what his poem was about. He responded "Our house for when we get married." I said something to the effect of "First, you think that's REALLY an appropriate thing to say to me? And Second, you REALLY think that would ever happen??" Not a single problem with him since.

You could also tell them it's sexual harassment and people get sent to jail for it. They'll never know
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Old 03-17-2011, 01:28 PM
3Sons 3Sons is offline
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I'm going to go the other way and say you should react to these comments -- at least outwardly. You are a model to high school girls on how they should react to similar unwanted comments. Do you want them to suffer in silence, or assert themselves confidently?

At the same time, don't overreact. Don't let the crudeness of the statements actually affect your feelings personally. Remember that you're the adult, and you have far more experience both in the world and in controlling your own feelings and behavior.

I agree with NCScienceTeacher that it's probably "normal", but that doesn't mean it shouldn't change.

ETA: to the extent possible, I think you should deal with it without writing them up. The girls who might need to model your behavior won't have the threat of writing someone up or suspending them at their fingertips.
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