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  #1  
Old 12-20-2012, 11:26 AM
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perplexed perplexed is offline
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Rude student....

I work hard to build positive relationships with students, but I have one student who is really getting under my skin. She is a 6th grader who is constandtly making rude comments and just being so disrespectful under her breath all the time. She refuses to shake my hand and greet me at the door, she says she hates this class under her breath, this is stupid under her breath, and she is constantly in a bad mood. If I talk to her, she won't talk to me. I When I said to come talk to me in the hall, she refused to talk with me (I said it in a respectful way). I've been reasonable and calm with her, and don't give her much attention for it. Today I brought a small Christmas present for all the kids and she looked at it and said "no thanks" in a rude kind of tone. Then later she said she wanted one, so I gave it to her, but she was still rude taking it.

I called home about it twice and left a message. Should I call one more time?

Should I have her meet with me and the guidance counselor?

I've been really good this year about being consistent, fair, calm, and reasonable with students, and she's the only one who's being rude in a nasty, awful way. I give consequences when I need to, but I'm respectful all the time.

I can't help her with her work or even go by her without her getting huffy and puffy and mad. I feel like even if I talk to her and say something nice (to build a relationship) she has to be disrespectful so it's hard to even want to talk to her.


What would you do to solve this?

I think I've had issues like this happen before, but usually I could talk sense into the student and it got better over time. It just seems like it's not getting better. I think each day, maybe it can get better, but it's not.
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  #2  
Old 12-20-2012, 11:40 AM
Ms.SLS Ms.SLS is offline
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Some you can't solve... She's obviously got issues outside of school, and she's taking them out on you.

You could *try* explaining to her that you don't appreciate the rude way she is treating you, and that you're not going to tolerate her behavior in your classroom. This will only work if you have some place to send her out of your room, and if you have admin supportive of that kind of thing.
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  #3  
Old 12-20-2012, 12:19 PM
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Peregrin5 Peregrin5 is offline
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8th Grade Science Teacher
This sounds exactly like a problem I had with a student earlier in the year.

I'm not sure about your case, but in my case, it was fueled by low self-esteem (a belief that she wasn't smart enough to do science), and a lack of respect for me as a teacher because I looked young and easy to jerk around.

She no longer is exhibiting the behavior you're describing because things came to a head and I wouldn't put up with her disrespect anymore.

She told me that she didn't like my class and she doesn't like me and I basically told her that I don't care if she doesn't like me or my class. It's not my goal to be her friend, but she better respect the rules of my class or she will face the consequences. And then I gave her a classroom suspension.

That drove home the point that I am a teacher, and not a peer. When she went to the VP for her suspension, she finally broke her attitude, was in tears, was apologetic for the way she was behaving and revealed the why of why she acted the way she does.

She wouldn't talk to me for about a week after that, but she followed the rules, and eventually I reached out by having the class sing her happy birthday, and I guess that made her realize that regardless of any students mistakes, I still want to have a student teacher relationship with them, and she's been more forthcoming and even coming in to make up her work.

As Ms. SLS said, there's not always a solution, but do your best to find the problem first and then you can think of solutions. Stick by your rules and expectations.
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  #4  
Old 12-20-2012, 01:07 PM
EdEd EdEd is offline
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So I think a first question is why do you think this is happening? We may jump to the conclusion that it's something outside of school, but there may be other things to consider - has she had a lot of behavioral issues this year that you've had to address? Are you a fairly strict teacher? How is her academic performance? Not saying it's you necessarily, but before we jump into advice giving, it may be wise to spend some time considering the background of the situation...
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  #5  
Old 12-20-2012, 01:40 PM
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perplexed perplexed is offline
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She hasn't had any behavior issues this year besides the last two weeks. I would say I'm fairly strict in that I have procedures and rules that need to always be followed, but if they're being followed, then I'm a tad more relaxed. She was asked to put her phone away today and she just got angry, like I was completely nuts for asking her to do that. It's a reading intervention class, so she may be self-conscious and feel bad that she's in the class. I think that might be the problem and she's taking it out on me, but since she won't even talk to me, it's hard to get to the root of the situation. I guess that's the frustrating part--her refusing to talk to me or work out the situation. I guess I mostly want to find out the problem so I can help solve it.
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  #6  
Old 12-20-2012, 03:18 PM
EdEd EdEd is offline
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Thanks for the response perplexed - is she this way with other teachers?
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  #7  
Old 12-20-2012, 03:32 PM
JustMe JustMe is offline
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I've surprisingly had success in talking with a few students over the years who behave in this manner by asking them questions such as:

Am I mean to you?
Do I respect you?
Am I kind to you?

The answers are always no, yes, and yes, and again, surprisingly the students have always answered honestly. Then I ask, "If I am being kind and respectful to you, why are you treating me and my class with such disrespect?" Seriously, they have always thought about and realized that I don't deserve their negativity. Has worked wonders.
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  #8  
Old 12-20-2012, 03:57 PM
Joy Joy is offline
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I think I would ignore some of her behavior. Once she finds that it doesn't bug you she will probably stop. I would also call her parents and ask to meet with them about this. You could find out a lot by listening to them. I would also try talking with her other teachers to see if she is acting that way to them.
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