Basically just a new teacher vent

MissEducation · #1 10-28-2009, 04:13 PM

Today I was in library dealing with a girl who was not outrageously disrespectful to me but was not respectful either. I talked to her very calmly and quietly because I feel like she's the kind of kid who's very reactionary and getting nasty with her does nothing but fuel the fire.

As I was leaving, the librarian called her over and reamed her for being disrespectful to me. The librarian is a battle ax and has in the past yelled at my students in front of me while saying things like, "You may take advantage of MissEducation but you're not going to take advantage of me." I know it's totally out of line of her to say things like that because it undermines me, but it still makes me feel like a doormat. I know the kids are disrespectful but I don't have a magic formula to make them stop. I am trying the best I know how and at the moment it's not good enough. I don't ever feel like I have total control and it's so stressful.

I am trying whole brain teaching but the troublesome students who make the class hellish are the same ones not responding to any new methods. I try to stand by my threats/promises but the problem is I feel like I never know when to make the threat! There are many steps my school has in place, and when I'm in the moment I can never determine how serious the behavior is and what type of punishment it warrants. Experienced teachers just seem to instinctively know when to give a detention or call a parent or send someone to the office.

Is this a confidence issue? I have never felt less confident than since I became a teacher. I love my school and most days I love my job but I have never felt so inept, and I always considered myself to be a smart and successful person. When will I feel like a normal human being again???

Peachyness · #2 10-28-2009, 04:57 PM

Is this your first year teaching? Teaching is so hard. I remember my first year and thinking the same things as you (I taught kinder, BTW). I felt lost at times, scared that I wasn't handling a situation correctly, was I being too mean, was I not being mean enough....? Well, flash forward to five years later. I have a much better grasp on how to handle situations. I'm called a mean teacher, but at the same time they all love me and hug me and draw pictures for me or bring me flowers. I'm "mean" but very consistent, fair, and I do a lot of fun activities. That's the kind of teacher I want to be, someone who is viewed as being fair, consistent, strict, but fun all at the same time. It's very tough to get to that point.

It will just take time to get the hang of it. As situations arises, you will reflect upon them, think about how you handled it, what you would do differently, and then next time, you will be better equipped to handle the situation. It will just take time and experiences to get to where you will feel comfortable.

UCLACareerChngr · #3 10-28-2009, 04:58 PM

okay, I saw your other post and am responding to this one as well...since you seem to have questions when to apply discipline, and you had a problem with the sub and them not respecting your classroom, I do think that you need to take some action...I think that they DO need to either get detention (talk with your administration if you think they will balk at a mass detention). You said you were worried about the seriousness of a detention but I think it's warranted...okay, done with thread hijack...but I didn't want to jump back..

As to the issue of the librarian, I think you just need to let that wash off your back...maybe she thinks she's being helpful or maybe she's just a busybody...I have gotten very good about nodding my head, thanking the person for the input, and then walking away and deciding whether I want their feedback or not...sometimes I do and sometimes I ignore it. Just something you'll get over time.

As for confidence...is this your first job? Fresh out of school? I think some of it just comes with time. Don't assume that you have to be nice in order for the kids to like you...I have found that if you are consistent and fair they may not like you but they are more likely to respect you. And, that will tend to help you relax...if you are consistent that over time it becomes easier to determine what to do and when to do it regarding punishment...

It's NOT easy...it does take time. I do recommend that you try to find someone on campus that you can bounce ideas off of (not the librarian, obviously). People like her have found that always being mean 100% of the time work for them...I have found that doesn't work for me, but, if I need to get mad to get my point across, I can.

As for confidence, subject matter mastery works wonders for your confidence...as you spend more time in teh classroom you'll just get more confident.

Good luck, good resource here for you...

Missy99 · #4 10-28-2009, 07:26 PM

I noticed in your post that you used the word "threat."

Big mistake. Never threaten. Tell them what their expected behavior is, what the punishment will be if your expectations are not met, and then follow through if they mess up.

Do not threaten: "If you don't stop that, I will..." That NEVER works (and the kids know it).