I need some help with parents...

Learner4Life · #1 10-15-2009, 09:38 PM

I am really struggling with one of my 'copter parents. She is constantly questioning my grading scale and my teaching methods. I'm a first year teacher, I don't have things completely figured out but I do know what I'm doing!!!
I assigned (probably too early in my career) a big Solar System Project. I adopted the project from the previous 5th grade teacher and she had things very well planned out. I sent home the same letter she sent home regarding what was expected and I now have an angry parent on my hands because her son got an 82% on it. She says she followed the guidelines completely. Unfortunately, this project was completed 10 days ago and I don't remember his project! I sent her a (what I thought was a nice email) explaining that I don't remember his project but some common problems that students had were (blah blah blah). She sent this back:
"I am sorry you can't remember his project... if you could you may understand why we are not happy about his grade. This is 5th grade we are talking about. He did label all his planets, the information he wrote was accurate, we did review it after he finished it. As far as presenting he did lose 4 points for that because you said he didn't speak up.

It is very frustrating for (student) and (Dad) and (Mom) because he did work very hard on this and took the project very seriously. (Given his homework previous to this I highly doubt it) We guided him without doing the work for him and you said we could help him 10% yet he was marked down for that as well. (I didn't mark any of my students down for how much their parents helped although I suspected several parents helped more)

He should have at least received a high B on this project if not an A."

I want to email back that this IS 5th grade we're talking about and an 82% is NOT a bad grade!!!!

What do I do? Do I concede to her request and take another look at the project? Do I not even reply (which is what I want to do but my Super hates)? This mother is making me hate my job!!!!!

rachaelski · #2 10-15-2009, 09:44 PM

I work in a private school full of these parents, even in 8th grade! I would offer to set up a meeting, where she can bring the project in, and you can explain the grading process. Did you use a rubric to grade? Walk her through that. I bet she doesn't follow through with meeting with you.

DO NOT LET HER BULLY YOU. I have no problem telling parents that I know what I am talking about, and that my methods are based in current educational research. You should do the same.

I have even went as far to say to a parent, "Please know that all the teaching methods I use in my classroom are based in current literacy research. Please do not think I am some overly idealistic, young teacher who is making things up as she goes."

scmom · #3 10-15-2009, 10:35 PM

You have already received some good advise. I also agree that on a big project like this it is good to use a rubric so it is easy to explain your grading and keep a copy of the rubric. I would never admit I didn't remember it. I don't know how you could judge if parents help more or less than 10%. I know it is frustrating when you can tell parents more than helped, but I do think it is good you didn't grade down for that.

Mostly, be confident and realize she is trying to push. "I understand how you feel, but nevertheless...." and other such deflectors are good. Take it as a learning experience so you remember to use a rubric or document in case of problems. One of my friends takes digital pictures of major projects like this to remind her of what it looked like and staples it to her rubric.

Learner4Life · #4 10-15-2009, 10:59 PM

I used a rubric but will remember to copy it in the future... and the digital photos is a great idea. I'm seriously regretting not copying it because I'm certain I would remember the project if I saw the rubric. I know why I deducted certain points.

MrsC · #5 10-16-2009, 05:18 AM

I would ask them to bring the project back in when they meet with you so that you can discuss specifics with them. In the future, you might want to think about taking some anecdotal notes during student presentations. I find that it always helps me to go back to these to remember specifics.

MsDeb · #6 10-16-2009, 09:03 AM

When I do a project like this, I make a copy of the rubric to go home along with the project information. When I grade the project, I make another copy of the rubric for each student and fill it in to return the score with the project. I've never had a parent question a grade this way.

CanukTeacher · #7 10-16-2009, 02:41 PM

Definately good advice so far. I would ask the parent to send the project back in (as you've already admitted you don't remember it). Take a look at it.

I'm going to suggest something that you may or may not like but it works for me.

I always give students the option of resumitting an assignment. Would you consider doing that?

For future reference have you considered not sending projects home so you make sure that they are done by the students in the future?

Aliceacc · #8 10-16-2009, 06:11 PM

Absolutely reply. I don't know what you should say or how you should say it, but don't blow her off. Otherwise, when she goes to the Super, she will have a very valid complaint.

Learner4Life · #9 10-16-2009, 07:29 PM

Alright, I replied... I did not agree to re-look at the assignment but I did compromise with her. The project was to replace a chapter test. I told her he could take the test and if he got a better grade on the test, I would take that grade.

I know I made some mistakes on this one (i.e. not copying the rubric, admitting I didn't remember the assignment, etc) but she doesn't have to know about any of them and I still get to compromise with her. I think the reason she is so upset is because SHE actually did the project and not her son.

BioAngel · #10 10-16-2009, 10:57 PM

Use a rubric--- as others have suggested. That way as you're observing their project you can check exactly what they did or did not do. I also leave space to add in comments of my own and extra questions I have for the student.

My school's copier allows us to scan in papers and it'll email us a pdf of the copy too. I keep all of my graded rubrics on my computer and its something I can send off to parents should they complain.

Stand your ground--- you are the teacher and you're assessing the student. It's not the end of the world. You are NOT assessing the parent, so what the parent thinks the kid should have gotten is nonsense.

Also, NEVER NEVER NEVER share with a parent that you don't remember their child's project. It comes off as "I don't care enough about your child's work to remember it". And that REALLY upsets them.

Take this as a lesson learned

Not a biggie.