Maybe... If teaching is making you physically ill, you should research other options. Of course, TRY the suggestions of the persons on this board. But if all else fails, start looking for other options for your future. Life is too short to be unhappy or feel anxious every single day. Happiness in the profession that you do everyday is also key to your positive mental health. There is no shame in being a career changer. And there is always someone clamoring to take your position. All the best. There are options if you feel that teaching is not healthy for you.
If teaching really makes you sick, or its frustrate you when think about things to do in class room. Then you need to find out some other career or profession for youself as it does not suits your nature.
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Last edited by Dollas; 11-29-2012 at 08:51 AM.
Reason: Adding some information
This may sound silly, but when I started substitute teaching before I got my credential, I sort of created a mental "persona" that I played the part of. I was just me (and an anxious me with little confidence), but the character of "Mrs. P" was strong, solid, consistent, smart, and capable, so I pretended to be her, like playing a part in a movie. It kind of goes with the "fake it till you make it" mentality, but it worked for me. As time goes on, you won't have to fake it because you'll have your teacher persona solidly in place.
The fact that you are looking for help and advice and are will to listen to those who have the experience to help says that you care and want to teach. So maybe it sounds a bit weird and cliche, but... I believe in you.
A close friend of mine moved to Japan from Texas. He's been there about 7 years now, is married and just had a daughter. He's happy and can't imagine his life any other way. But at first he was devastated. He'd been obsessed with all things Japanese since junior high and took Japanese in high school. He thought he was prepared but he suffered quite a bit in the transition for a couple of years.
If you really want it, you can do it. If it helps, I'm only observing in my first year of college and every time I walk into that classroom I'm terrified. Still. You're not alone. Don't give up. Okay, cliches over.
Hehh...after reading up on Benzo's I don't think I will be using them much longer, as research suggests they may cause an early onset of Alzheimer's. I am also taking Lexapro, but I don't think it has kicked in yet...I'm not sure what to do...I am still trying to find the root of the fear...I am starting to think it is a fear of losing control, or of not having it in the first place (even if I do indeed have control, the fear is still there). Maybe I can find a Therapist in America that I can do phone session's with. If my school didn't threaten to fine people 1,600$ for leaving mid-year, I may just resign to get myself back together...
If nothing else, Christmas break is just a few weeks away, perhaps I can go to some Buddhist Temple and meditate for a few days straight! (jk)
Oh, and one more thing, many of you mentioned mentor teachers...I am just afraid that if I admit all of these anxieties and obsessions to them, they will begin to view me as incompetent and unfit to be here (which, whether or not that is true, I don't necessarily want them thinking that).
Other than that, the actual teaching seems to be coming along, the kids are coming up on their midterms and I think they'll be ready. They seem to be warming up to me as well......but this...this...abominable, despicable anxiety still remains.
Sorry for the double-post, but I just wanted to let everyone know that I am beginning to feel much better. Whether it's the Lexapro is finally kicking in or I am just getting used to the new school (likely it is a combination of the two), things are getting better. Just got a new iPad for an early Christmas gift and got the app. GradebookPro (I think it will help a lot as far as record-keeping goes). Anyways, sorry again for the double post--just wanted to give an update. Even for us with OCD/GAD, there is hope for us as teachers!