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  #11  
Old 11-19-2012, 11:50 AM
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Peachyness Peachyness is offline
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It depends. Was the murder in self defense? Was it an accident? Preplanned or in the heat of a moment?

However, if the purpose abused or molested children, tortured animals, then, no. Whatever good they did is now negated.
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  #12  
Old 11-19-2012, 01:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms. I View Post
[FONT="Century Gothic"][COLOR="DarkOliveGreen"][SIZE="3"][B]I do believe that all the good things the person did in the past will make it null & void if he does something horrible. The person shouldn't get any kind of leniency either in their punishment sentence
Perhaps you're right, but they often do, and this is a relatively accepted (though not entirely agreed upon) practice. I'd note that in death sentence cases the judge usually specifically has to at least look at all circumstances of the offenders life.
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  #13  
Old 11-19-2012, 02:55 PM
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I appreciate everyone's feedback.

To follow-up...

If you feel the bad essentially erases the good, how would you deal with this is a loved one in your family was discovered to be a child molester? Are you done with that person? Sever ties? Would you build a wall but still treasure the memories you have? Something else?

For the record, I started thinking about this because of Michael Jackson. He was featured on the music awards last night and my husband made a remark that got me thinking. Of course, he wasn't found to be guilty, but still...got the wheels turning. I absolutely love him. Love. Him. But then I think about the what-ifs.

Then I thought about my papaw. A molester. It's hard to sort out my feelings about him.
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  #14  
Old 11-19-2012, 03:03 PM
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This reminds me of an SVU I watched last night. This guy is really really charitable, gives away tons of money, always helps "the cause" and turns out to be a rapist. I know it was just a show, but to me he was a bad person. If you're truly a good person, you're a good person in all aspects of your life. Not just a few parts.
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  #15  
Old 11-19-2012, 05:17 PM
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HeartDrama HeartDrama is offline
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JustMe, I recently saw a fascinating movie on Netflix starring Tilda Swinton and John C. Reilly. I believe it was called, "We Need to Talk about Kevin." It's basically about this kid who goes all "Columbine" at his school and evaluates why and who, if anyone is at fault. Mom takes on a lot of the blame, but does she deserve it? Anyway, she has to answer that same question you're asking, is there good in him? Do I still love him because he's my son?
I don't know what I would do in that situation, and I pray that I never have to find out.
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  #16  
Old 11-19-2012, 05:24 PM
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Sounds very interesting!
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  #17  
Old 11-19-2012, 05:29 PM
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Linguist92021 Linguist92021 is offline
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I've never been in this situation, but I think the bad would probably void all the good. Bad meaning situations when another person's life is destroyed and can't be fixed (killed) or the damage cannot be undone (molestation).
So in this case I don't think I would want to deal with the person, family member or not.
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  #18  
Old 11-19-2012, 06:50 PM
teachinnola teachinnola is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linguist92021 View Post
I've never been in this situation, but I think the bad would probably void all the good. Bad meaning situations when another person's life is destroyed and can't be fixed (killed) or the damage cannot be undone (molestation).
So in this case I don't think I would want to deal with the person, family member or not.
I agree with this completely (of course murder in self defense or by accident not included). I think that you have to judge people by their full character. There are plenty of kind and compassionate do-gooders out there who don't do horrible things to waste time with those that do.
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  #19  
Old 11-19-2012, 06:57 PM
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Peregrin5 Peregrin5 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustMe View Post
I appreciate everyone's feedback.

To follow-up...

If you feel the bad essentially erases the good, how would you deal with this is a loved one in your family was discovered to be a child molester? Are you done with that person? Sever ties? Would you build a wall but still treasure the memories you have? Something else?

For the record, I started thinking about this because of Michael Jackson. He was featured on the music awards last night and my husband made a remark that got me thinking. Of course, he wasn't found to be guilty, but still...got the wheels turning. I absolutely love him. Love. Him. But then I think about the what-ifs.

Then I thought about my papaw. A molester. It's hard to sort out my feelings about him.
In my previous post, I was speaking from the perspective of society. When it comes to interpersonal relationships it obviously becomes a lot more complicated.

For instance there are some people out there (many mothers notably) who still love and vouch for their criminal and serial killer sons. There are even some who would try to help hide the crime or take the blame for it.

I would say it depends on on the closeness to the family member and the severity of the crime. I think with family sometimes it's hard to completely sever ties with anyone over anything, even over unspeakable crimes.

My BF's brother has been in a chain of crimes, drug abuse, and theft, especially from his own parents, and honestly I don't see why they just don't kick him out of the house, but they continue to house, feed, and clothe him for free, as well as buying him things like new cars and motorcycles and such, despite the grief and tears he causes his family. I will probably never understand it, but there it is.
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  #20  
Old 11-19-2012, 09:23 PM
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Ms. I Ms. I is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustMe View Post
...If you feel the bad essentially erases the good, how would you deal with this is a loved one in your family was discovered to be a child molester? Are you done with that person? Sever ties? Would you build a wall but still treasure the memories you have? Something else?...
If I found out that my own relative did a horrendous deed, I'm sure I wouldn't have any contact w/ the person anyway since the person would pobably be in jail. Let's just say the person is still living their regular life, but they did this horrible thing, I'd probably not be in contact w/ him/her. How he/she chose to live live is between him/her & God. It's not up to me to give a punishment.
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