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  #21  
Old 11-15-2012, 10:33 AM
JustMe JustMe is offline
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The advice to wait to see bruises is horrible!
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  #22  
Old 11-15-2012, 05:52 PM
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leighbball leighbball is offline
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What did you decide to do?

I made my first call recently. I went to my P about the situation and she advised to make the call with our counselor or social worker. I was so worried bc the child was then absent 3 of the next 4 school days after the call. But the case was accepted....I don't know what will happen now.
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  #23  
Old 11-16-2012, 12:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FutureTeacher_1 View Post
Counselor will start seeing the boy next month for social support.

He said to call.

Social worker said to hold off also...sides with the AP.

I'm so conflicted. The parents recovering drug addicts..the AP says theyre getting their lives together calling will ruin it all.
Call.
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  #24  
Old 11-18-2012, 08:07 PM
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FutureTeacher_1 FutureTeacher_1 is offline
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Michigan
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Hi all,

I meant to post an update..just been so busy.

I did call and I let the counselor know I did too.

I haven't seen or heard anything yet. I guess it's the waiting game I just feel sick to my stomach that our fear was the parents and not the child's safety. Sometimes I walk out at 3:40 pm wondering whose side we're on with some policies.

Thanks for the advice.
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  #25  
Old 11-18-2012, 09:25 PM
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monsieurteacher monsieurteacher is offline
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You likely won't see or hear anything, due to confidentiality regulations, but know that you did the right thing by your student.

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  #26  
Old 11-19-2012, 07:44 AM
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catnfiddle catnfiddle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FutureTeacher_1 View Post
Hi all,

I meant to post an update..just been so busy.

I did call and I let the counselor know I did too.

I haven't seen or heard anything yet. I guess it's the waiting game I just feel sick to my stomach that our fear was the parents and not the child's safety. Sometimes I walk out at 3:40 pm wondering whose side we're on with some policies.

Thanks for the advice.


You did the right thing. This is a family in crisis and transition. You didn't get them into trouble. You got them the help they need to heal and become a loving family.
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  #27  
Old 11-19-2012, 04:58 PM
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pwhatley pwhatley is offline
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When in doubt, call. It is VERY hard to prove abuse, for a number of reasons.
1. People don't call when abuse or neglect is suspected.
2. Social workers have to make appointments to do home visits.
3. People don't call.

If there is no abuse or neglect, nothing will happen to the parents. If there is, surely this kiddo deserves the chance for better! I say this because I have had to call three times.

A number of years ago, one of my Girl Scouts (age 9) was sleeping with and showering with her dad. I called.

Three years ago, I had a child come to school with his arm covered in bruises that he said came from his mom. I called.

Last year, one of my kiddos had a black eye and split lip. When asked how it happened, he said "Uncle Joe" did it (not the correct name). I called. This student has had the call made twice since. He and his siblings are still at home with Mom.
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  #28  
Old 11-19-2012, 05:21 PM
EdEd EdEd is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pwhatley View Post
When in doubt, call. It is VERY hard to prove abuse, for a number of reasons.
1. People don't call when abuse or neglect is suspected.
2. Social workers have to make appointments to do home visits.
3. People don't call.

If there is no abuse or neglect, nothing will happen to the parents. If there is, surely this kiddo deserves the chance for better! I say this because I have had to call three times.

A number of years ago, one of my Girl Scouts (age 9) was sleeping with and showering with her dad. I called.

Three years ago, I had a child come to school with his arm covered in bruises that he said came from his mom. I called.

Last year, one of my kiddos had a black eye and split lip. When asked how it happened, he said "Uncle Joe" did it (not the correct name). I called. This student has had the call made twice since. He and his siblings are still at home with Mom.
So, none of what I'm about to say should be taken to mean that I don't think you should call in suspected abuse - it's the law, and often times very helpful.

However, for sake of understanding of the complexity of the issue, the statement that "nothing will happen to the parent if no abuse occurred" is not accurate. While it may be possible that a social worker or investigator investigates and decides not to go further, if charges are filed (or even if not) results can be disastrous, even for non-offending parents. Not an insignificant number of families have been destroyed (or close to it) because of unsubstantiated claims that occur for a number of reasons, including but not limited to bias in investigations, false accusations, etc. Many of these elements occur well before the parent's day in court, as it can sometimes take years before court dates, and media often publicizes tidbits of stories before all information is revealed, leaving families dealing all kinds of nasty effects.

It's also not infrequent that calling in abuse can damage relationships between providers and families, permanently ruining trust in relationships that may be the only real source of support for the family.

Again, none of this means we should tolerate abuse or not report if suspected, but it's important to understand (at least on a basic level) the truth in what occurs in such happenings. Making calls to CPS/DSS/whatever it's called in your location is not a uniformly beneficial process for all involved that includes no unintended consequences, some of which can be quite substantial and severe.
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  #29  
Old 11-19-2012, 07:13 PM
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pwhatley pwhatley is offline
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Eded, I usually agree with almost everything you have to say, but here I must differ. My cousins were severely neglected. My aunt had 5 children by 5 fathers, one of whom was physically handicapped. By the time the oldest was 9, she was left in charge of all of them for extended periods of time (including overnight). My handicapped cousin had an ileostomy & colostomy bag, which was rarely changed correctly, because my aunt couldn't be bothered. For weeks at a time, the kids ate Rice a Roni for supper. My mom called social services repeatedly regarding the neglect. Every time they would call & make the appointment for a home visit, the house would be cleaned up and the pantry stocked. Of course, then my aunt would change her daughter's bag correctly. Of course nothing ever happened.

Maybe what you describe is what happens in your state, but it is definitely NOT what happens in all cases. JMHO
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  #30  
Old 11-19-2012, 07:32 PM
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Linguist92021 Linguist92021 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EdEd View Post
While it may be possible that a social worker or investigator investigates and decides not to go further, if charges are filed (or even if not) results can be disastrous, even for non-offending parents.
I think the whole point is that they can investigate and charges are filed ONLY if the suspicion can be substantiated.
I can see that parents can be mad / annoyed if someone comes out to 'snoop around' and accuse them of child abuse, but charges are not filed at that point.

One time my daughter went to school with all kinds of red rash on her arm. It wasn't itching, or anything, it was a reaction to something she ate at home (we think, we still don't know). But it looked horrible, as if she got burn marks by a curling iron, all over her right arm. A teacher / nurse questioned her at school, she explained what it was. I know they were suspicious, because it looked horrible, but by lunch time they realized I had nothing to do with it because more red marks came out. (after 1 day everything disappeared and we never saw it again).
If someone would have come out to investigate, I would have been a little put off, but because I didn't do anything wrong, and had nothing to hide I would not have been upset. If anything I would have been glad to know that there are people at school looking out for my daughter and other students.
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