Would you date a janitor?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Teacher_Lyn, Apr 30, 2009.

  1. Teacher_Lyn

    Teacher_Lyn Companion

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    Apr 30, 2009

    I met a cool guy in my creative writing class. I've known him for quite awhile now (about 3 months) and we enjoy each other's company and hang out one or two weekends a month.

    However, he never says what his job is.

    Not to get on the :soapbox: but while I believe a person's job doesn't define them, since I'm starting to have romantic feelings about this guy, I am curious what he does for a living.

    All I've been able to "piece together" is that he works at the largest hotel in our district, works at night, and the one time he called me during his lunch break (which was at 8 p.m.?) there was A LOT of music and noise in the background.

    My girlfriends all think he's a janitor and embarassed that if I find out I'll look down on him and not want to hang (not true, though I admit, I'm not sure I'd want to date him, I'd probably just want to remain friends).

    What do you all think? And if indeed he was a janitor, would you date him? I don't think Im better than him, but I want a guy that is going places and right now, he's not in school or trying to get a better job.

    PS: If I just ask him the way my Mom has suggested and he says, "Yeah, I'm a janitor" what am I supposed to say next? "Oh okay, that must be fun?" "Do you like your job?" Anything I say afterward seems like it would be patronizing :(
     
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  3. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    I wouldn't but I am married.

    Who cares? He doesn't sound like he is going to do that forever.
     
  4. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Aficionado

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    I had a few dates with a guy who was a janitor in a school (not the one I worked at). He actually only had 6 credits to go before he graduated from college but dropped out :confused: He said he loved being a janitor! Didn't bother me really. He was fun guy.
     
  5. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    How old is he? Is he married? Does he have kids, if so how many? Just being a janitor isn't the only criteria I'd be concerned about.

    I'm glad I'm not single these days, I'd just about have to do a full FBI check on someone before I'd become involved.

     
  6. Teacher_Lyn

    Teacher_Lyn Companion

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    But how can I know that for sure? I'm dating potential mates, not just dating for the sake of it. So I want to be sure before I pursue anything with him, ya know?
     
  7. Teacher_Lyn

    Teacher_Lyn Companion

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    He's 27, not married, no kids. Lives in his sister's basement (which isn't a big deal because i share an apartment with my mother AND this guy is a refugee from a wartorn country, so it's understandable he'd want to be close to his family)
     
  8. McKennaL

    McKennaL Groupie

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    I agree with lemon.

    He's in school taking a creative writing class. This is a temporary job. If he says that's what he's doing say, "Oh, ok. Have you been there long? Like it?" (what's he to say? I work in a grocery store... been there long..not really. you like it? It's ok, the people are nice.) No biggie.

    But you might at another time say... are you here getting a degree? Have plans of what you want to do with it? Considering you hang out... these conversations shouldn't be tough...but don't make a lot of it - treat it simply like conversation.

    Everyone has a job that gets them through during college - and often times it's not glamorous,
     
  9. chebrutta

    chebrutta Fanatic

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    Why not? Love doesn't always come with a 401k or pension. If you're already having romantic feelings for him, why let a not-so-desirable job get in the way? It's not like he's doing anything illegal or immoral. Keep it going to find out if there really is a connection!
     
  10. McKennaL

    McKennaL Groupie

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    Could be that he is a night manager. They do some custodial work...but I think most custodial work at a hotel is done during the day - as not to wake those staying there.
     
  11. Kangaroo22

    Kangaroo22 Virtuoso

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    I would date a janitor. The career of a potential boyfriend doesn't bother me, but I do like them to either be working full-time or working towards a full-time, either by being in school or actively pursuing a full-time job.
     
  12. Securis

    Securis Cohort

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    It's honest work. Better that than something really questionable like being a lawyer or politician.:lol:
     
  13. blindteacher

    blindteacher Cohort

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    If I were you, I would let him know I don't care what his job is. Chances are he is embarrassed about it and if you let him know you won't pass judgment on him because of his work, he will most likely feel more comfortable and tell you what he does.

    I wouldn't factor his work into whether or not he is a potential romantic interest.
     
  14. Teacher_Lyn

    Teacher_Lyn Companion

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    Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't clear. This is a COMMUNITY college and the creative writing classes we've taken together are non-credit. As far as I know he isn't in school.
     
  15. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    Then, when the time is right, ask him. Maybe you can ask him what he did last night and if he says he worked, just say something like "sounds fun, what is it that you do there?" Believe me it is not the first time anyone asked him.
     
  16. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

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    I might be taken aback at first, because it's kind of unusual (even though in reality, it isn't), but then I'd be fine with it. I always really liked the janitors that worked at my schools, and lord know what we'd do without them!!
     
  17. 3Sons

    3Sons Connoisseur

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    Ouch!
    :(
     
  18. nattles19

    nattles19 Comrade

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    I think you're being very practical, Teacher_Lyn! You say you are looking for a potential mate and I think that financial stability should be a factor in that. I know it definitely is for me, because I'm hoping to be able to stay home with my kids eventually and want to be with a guy who has a steady career and can support a family.

    I don't see anything wrong with asking him straightout, but maybe a more important question would be to figure out if he's looking for the same thing you are (potential mate). Easily said than done, but good to know!
     
  19. peggy27

    peggy27 Cohort

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    I would date him. At least he has a job!! Some janitors make good money. A distict in my area pays at least $30,000.
     
  20. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    One of our 1st grade teachers started dating our janitor and they are now married and very happy! I think its more about the person than the job, but as others said there are other things to consider.
     
  21. becky

    becky Enthusiast

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    Apr 30, 2009

    Speaking from experience-
    men who make a good living know they make a good living, and at some point will throw it up at you.
    So this dude's a janitor. What's he like on the inside?

    Another thought-
    what if you worked daycare? Would you want people looking down at you cause all you do is 'babysit'?
     

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