Why do students nowadays don't respect their teacher?

Discussion in 'Secondary Education' started by kvs_va, Nov 6, 2011.

  1. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Nov 19, 2011

    Yes, I've seen a lot of disrespectful elementary kids, mainly when I subbed & I assumed that if I ever had my own classroom, that it generally shouldn't be that way because kids see subs as the outsiders & will act differently. Now, that I've had my new SLP job & actually have my OWN students, I can honestly say that they're a really nice bunch of kids at both of my schools & I'm happy to be able to say that.

    I have to say that I've only worked w/ 1 high school kid in my life & that was 1-on-1 for a very brief time, so that's a different situation, but I'm not the type to teach a whole class of high schoolers. It's not for me. I lack the comical comments (maybe wit if you want to call it that) that kids that age like. High schoolers would think I'm a very dry person, but I'm nice, but I have no idea how to connectw/ that age level. I'm never around HS kids except when I was in HS myself.
     
  2. Special-t

    Special-t Enthusiast

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    Nov 19, 2011

    I agree. And, wish that people who don't like kids or can't find their redeeming qualities should stay out of teaching. I've found that I have to be able to have hope for even my most difficult students in order to work with them.
     
  3. bizzbeth125

    bizzbeth125 Rookie

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    Nov 19, 2011

    I think they get it from their parents...

    A parent came up to me the other day, whose child is in my class, and asked me whose parent I was.... UM HELLO!? To clarify: He was at back to school night, and had been in the classroom a week before helping with stations and I spoke with him at that time too.

    I said, "oh, actually I'm your child's teacher"

    He said he was sorry and then asked me to remind him of my name.....................:dizzy::dizzy:

    I can't blame the kids when the parents don't show them how to respect their teacher. :whistle:
     
  4. showmelady

    showmelady Companion

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    Nov 19, 2011

    Dr. Spock.

    I think that is the answer to many of the problems we have today with kids not being respectful, obedient or just having nice manners.

    I do not think kids are taught to have respect for anyone.

    But I do think they actually want some structure and want to learn respect. I think you have to connect with the students in some way that catches their attention. The more kids you can get to pay attention in a class, the better they will act. And respect comes then.

    I have had some luck with explaining to them that they will get their turn to talk, but that they must respect the right of othes to talk, too. In some classes it is easier to get the kids to be respectful, once they understand that the respect goes both ways. And you have to CONSTANTLY remind them, because to many it is a totally new concept.
     
  5. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Nov 19, 2011

    Sounds like you've made some excellent headway, showmelady. If these kids haven't been taught correct behavior previously, we have an excellent opportunity / responsibility to do so. Also, welcome to the boards from a fellow Ohio resident, if I hadn't said so previously.

    :welcome::atoz_love:
     
  6. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Nov 20, 2011

    It sounds to me as though he was very respectful. And that he had attended back to school night and made an effort to speak to you at that point.

    Perhaps he has memory issues, perhaps he's simply bad at connecting faces and names, perhaps there's something on his mind right now that supercedes everything else-- perhaps his job is on the line and he's terrified about putting food on the table.

    But I most certainly wouldn't call his behavior disrespectful.
     
  7. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Nov 20, 2011

    I agree with Alice on this. He didn't sound disrespectful, but there was definitely something interferring with putting people's names and faces together with his child. That isn't disrespect. What if this man at some point had a stroke or has a medical condition that interfere's with his ability to put it all together. Just the fact he shows up shows he has interest in his child's education.

    It could also be as simple as he has multiple children (over the years) with multiple teachers and it just becomes a bit too overwhelming to keep everyone straight. You may have looked familiar, but with all the teachers and parents he ends up meeting it just ends up being one jumbled mess of names and faces. Teachers tend to be good with names and faces, not everyone is.

    I would think he was probably a bit embarrassed by this situation but tried to hide it.


    On an aside here:

    I think sometimes we want to lump everything under the term 'disrespect' when it isn't perfect. Are we the new 'gang' on the block where everything is met with the term 'disrespect' whether it was really disrespectful or not.
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2011
  8. bizzbeth125

    bizzbeth125 Rookie

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    Nov 20, 2011

    You both may be right, but he exhibited many other signs of less than respectful behavior... Telling me he was going to use my computer when he was supposed to be leading a group of kids in an activity, answering his phone in class while the students were doing readers theater, and carrying on the conversation loudly while the kids were trying to put on the play... Sighing loudly during conferences, the whole time, laughing at students playing a song during the veterans day assembly.

    You may both be correct, but I've seen multiple instances where he has been less than respectful of the classroom, students and teachers. I wouldn't have said it unless I had reason...
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2011
  9. bizzbeth125

    bizzbeth125 Rookie

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    Nov 20, 2011

    Thinking about it more, you may be right, he could have an issue that I'm not aware of, but, considering everything I think it is more of a social awareness issue where he may not realize how he is acting and how his actions are perceived by others. :-/
     
  10. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Nov 20, 2011


    Keep in mind, though, that we only know what you tell us.

    It's also possible that what you interpret as disrespect is actually Asperger's Syndrome or something similar.
     
  11. bizzbeth125

    bizzbeth125 Rookie

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    Yes, you are right, that could be the case. I recently posted that he may have a social awareness issue I hadn't considered before. Thanks!
     
  12. maya5250

    maya5250 Comrade

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    Nov 20, 2011


    :yeahthat:

    I have respect from my 6th graders. There are some that try to be a little disrespectful at the beginning of the year. This was nipped in the bud.

    However, getting them to respect each other has been an uphill battle that I continue to fight every day.
     
  13. Soccer Dad

    Soccer Dad Cohort

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    Nov 20, 2011

    This thread is an interesting one, albeit it being a sad one as well. First of all, I have to agree with what Alice said about understanding that while each culture--Western vs. Eastern--has its own weaknesses, each also has its own strengths. Perhaps you haven't fully adjusted to Western schools. That's okay, of course, but I think a better approach is not to focus on the negatives, but on how to expand on the positives. What are these positives? Well, we can chat all day about them, but in my opinion: Western students are (usually) forced to collaborate more, think and discuss more about their own feelings (thus forcing critical thinking), focus more on the bigger impact than the specific facts, give more oral and written presentations, and are told to pursue their personal interests (even if they happen to be "useless" to society). I think, especially in education, it's better to remain optimistic. I'm cynical by nature, but I don't think I could handle the job if I didn't constantly remind myself that our system of education--while deeply flawed--is still a wonderful work of society. (By the way: I student taught in an Eastern school so I'm not completely without experience.)

    Behavior is definitely influenced by parents. It's also influenced by teachers. If my students go home and curse, that's one thing but I can assure you it's not happening in my classroom. Why? Because I follow through with what I say. If you curse, you're in trouble (one page paper--single spaced--on how to better communicate). It's MY classroom. I will dictate how it's run. Of course, my students--30 of them in number--try to dictate things as well. Sometimes, we can cooperate and work together to make better policies (ie: this year, I don't quiz on Mondays). However, if students are disrespectful, I refer them to their AP AND take points off their participation grade. Could it be that your students just don't care about consequences? Absolutely. It happens and it SUCKS. It really is unfortunate for both you and the class when students don't care about their education. However, in the grand scheme of things: you can either change your method of "getting through to them," accept it or transfer. We're all different when it comes to perseverance and what we can handle. I transferred from the city--I couldn't handle a class size of 43.

    In the end, you need to reflect on your own views. My kids had a strict upbringing but there have been many times they have acted out against me (most recently, my son lashed out at my wife.. he's now without a credit card, car and cell phone [the three c's]). Kids will be kids. They push boundaries. They test their superiors. It's human behavior. How we respond can determine a lot. Of course, there will ALWAYS be those that just don't care... and that's the saddest thing of all--something that is inevitable in society.
     
  14. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    Nov 21, 2011

    I gotta chime in here about the excuses. Yes, the father mentioned above might have some condition that causes him to laugh at students while they are performing. That doesn't mean he is not being disrespectful. It may mean he has a hard time learning what respectful behavior looks like. But it is still disrespect.

    When an ADHD student jumps out of his seat and starts singing during lecture he may have a chemical imbalance that led to his impulsiveness. But he was still disrespectful.

    It isn't a murder trial that's being argued down to manslaughter. Proof of intent is not required.
     
  15. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Nov 21, 2011

    I have to chime in also.

    The problem is when you judge the PERSON and do not consider if the action had intent, it becomes a problem.

    The person with Tourette's syndrome that blurts may be terribly disrepectful in action. Judging the character of that person and labelling that person disrepectful would, in my opinion, be disrespectful on the part of the labeller. Why? Intent.

    When we talk about PEOPLE being disrepectful, intent is important. When we talk about ACTIONS being disrespectful, intent is not needed. While the action may be disrespectful, the person may just not know (or for that matter, we may take something not disprespectful, read more into it, and be offended).

    Intent is important based on the how the term is being used.

    Addition: This is not to say that students performing disrespectful actions UNintentionally should not be taught why the action was disrespectful. Adults need to be worked with differently depending on the situation. Sometimes it is just best to let it go.
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2011
  16. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Nov 21, 2011

    This behaviour can certainly be disruptive, but it is not necessarily disrespectful.
     
  17. sanderson

    sanderson Rookie

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    Nov 22, 2011

    This is not the case with every teacher. I believe, you get what you give. Let’s not make any generalizations; you cannot judge the whole class on the basis of a child. And I agree that respect is earned, if you are not being respected, then find out the reasons and work on it. It’s always easy to condemn, try the difficult part, improvement.
     
  18. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Nov 24, 2011

    I find it interesting how the same class may behave well and respect the teacher in one classroom, and be totally out of control and disrespectful in another classroom. They have the same parents - familial background, this is all happening on the same day. The difference?? : the teacher.

    You, as a teacher have the power to form and mold yor students, at least for the time they are with you - and hopefully you can make a long term impact as well.
    Students are very observant, and they know how far they can go with each teacher. They know, that one teacher allows them to get out of their seat, be disruptive, or whatever, either because he's ok with that, or he is not ok with it, but cannot handle them. And they know that another teacher will not allow it.

    Of course, some groups are harder to handle than others, but that's when we need to put in the extra effort for them to learn our expectations.

    I don't like generalizations, and I don't like anyone to talk about divorced parents, as if they are providing less than acceptable living conditions. I am a single parent, and although it is hard at times, I do all I can. My child does watch more tv than I would like, but she is respectful, and overall a good kid. Should I have stayed with her father, in an unhealthy relationship, (emotional abuse, which would have turned into physical abuse) just for the sake of saying : "I'm married?" No. So let's not judge the kids background.

    Although there are certainly enough parents out there who let their kids get away with murder, don't follow thrugh with anything, we can't control that, and we shouldn't think ALL students come from that background.
     
  19. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Nov 24, 2011

    Well said linguist.
     

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