Why do students nowadays don't respect their teacher?

Discussion in 'Secondary Education' started by kvs_va, Nov 6, 2011.

  1. kvs_va

    kvs_va New Member

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    Nov 6, 2011

    I am a 2nd year high school Science teacher, and I don't understand why kids nowadays are like that. Majority of them don't respect the teacher and act as if they are doing a big favor by coming to school. This is a big contrast to when I was in school in India. Teachers have a lot of respect there from students as well as parents. I think this is a big difference between Eastern and Western culture. I think kids here are totally out of control because of divorced parents and no one at home to teach them discipline. All they do at home is watch TV so they are hyper when they come to school. They don't respect authority and treat the teacher as if she is their servant. It is never their fault, it is the teacher's fault that they are failing. I had one parent who wanted me to email her son's marks to her after every quiz! She forgot I had 120 other students as well!
     
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  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Nov 7, 2011

    I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

    My experience certainly has been different.

    But I see lots and lots of generalizations in that one paragraph.

    I disagree with the "majority." I also disagree with many of the other points you've made-- my husband and I are happily married, and my kids see plenty of discipline. (My son gets his phone back today; his Xbox is grounded until Saturday.)

    A good friend is in the process of a divorce; rest assured that her daughter isn't sitting home all day watching TV.

    I'm sure there are some major differences between Eastern and Western cultures. But is it possible that you're expecting those kids to conform to the culture you grew up in, as opposed to you adapting to theirs? Certainly they can sense the disdain with which you hold their culture-- that comes out loud and clear in your brief post. Perhaps that has something to do with the way they behave for you?

    You say that parents don't care, yet you have one parent-- not 120, but one-- who wants to keep on top of her son's quizzes, and you're too busy to email her.

    I'm sending an email today to a parent-- she's really been on her son about his grades, and he scored a 92% on Friday's test. I won't give her the grade, but want to be sure she remembers to ask him. That one little email I send will ensure that mom (and Mike, when he finds out) know that I'm sincerely rooting for his success.

    I think that, in order for a teacher to find success, one very fundamental requirement is that you need to like your kids and sincerely hope for their success. Requirement number two is that you do what you can to ensure it.
     
  4. GTB4GT

    GTB4GT Cohort

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    Nov 7, 2011

    I am a new teacher but have over 30 years in other fields. I don't have the experience dealing with young people over that same time frame as others do but i will say that I am shocked at what I see and hear from this generation of young people.(And i teach at a 'good" school btw).I really don't blame the student as much as do their parent(s) or guardian.I am by no means a sociologist but my hypothesis is that your culture has more of the traditional parenting model.Others may argue that nothing has changed but I don't share that belief.But to be fair, as I have also noted, I have not been in the classroom for 30 - 40 years either so I'm sure that others have more data than my anecdotal evidence.
     
  5. bondo

    bondo Cohort

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    Nov 9, 2011

    Sounds like you had a rough day or past couple of days. I'm sorry for your struggles. However, I agree with Alice. It is a product of Western culture to gravitate toward drama and negative news and it seems this may be the case. If the majority of kids were truly disrespectful and held the belief of the teacher as "servant" there would be anarchy in the schools.
     
  6. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Nov 9, 2011

    Respect is earned, regardless of grade level or school setting in which you teach. I have no problems with disrespectful students...that just doesn't happen in my class.
     
  7. Rockguykev

    Rockguykev Connoisseur

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    Nov 10, 2011

    Getting them to respect me isn't a problem.

    Getting them to respect each other is a nightmare.
     
  8. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Nov 10, 2011

    Beautifully put, Kev.
     
  9. midwestteacher

    midwestteacher Cohort

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    Nov 10, 2011

    It all starts at home. Parents don't want to be the parent. They want to be a friend. Many students have no respect for their parents because they have not been taught that at home. I have been in the office when students have to call home to ask a parent to bring PE clothes, homework, etc. I am appalled about how these kids speak to their parents. If I would have spoken to my mom like that, I would have false teeth today.
     
  10. Silmarienne

    Silmarienne Cohort

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    Nov 11, 2011

    Yes, BUT. Kids are (ironically) craving structure and someone to respect and set boundaries so they can feel secure, at least in that one class. But you must make it loud and clear that you expect respect (both for you and each other), and what the consequences will be when/if disrespect happens. Then you must be consistent and firm every day with them.

    We can blame parents all we want, but we are the ones who create the classroom environment.

    I can say this, but it does not come naturally for me; however I learned to be this way, and so can you. :) I wish you the best!!
     
  11. Speechy

    Speechy Comrade

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    Nov 11, 2011


    Exactly. :)
     
  12. INteacher

    INteacher Aficionado

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    Nov 12, 2011

    I believe in this 100%!! Even in during my hallway duty, students I have never had in class but they KNOW how they should behave in my hallway, are respectful of me, each other and the rules of the hallway.

    Case in point - drinks in the hallway. Students are not allowed to have drinks or food in the hallway. The kids in our hallway know this and as the first teacher students encounter in our hallway, from day one they know I will make them throw drinks/foood away. Two days ago, a group of kids entered the hallway and one student, not from my hallway, tried to hide a drink as he walked by. I didn't have to tell him to throw it away, the other kids did :)

    "hey, we don't bring drinks up here. Mrs. IN makes us follow the rules up here"

    other student "teachers let us have drinks downstairs"

    "well, Mrs IN makes us follow the rules" and turns to me "I got your back Mrs IN"

    these are students I have never had in class, just in my hallway :)

    To get to this pont, I greet them every morning, know their names (even the ones I don't have in class), wish them luck when I hear about the big Chem test, give out high fives when they tell me great news, ect . . . . .

    And, if you ask students which teachers they respect, almost always it is the teachers that command the best from their students, are prepared, TEACH, interact with their students, and as my students say "actually act like they like their job and kids."
     
  13. GTB4GT

    GTB4GT Cohort

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    Nov 12, 2011

    To kvs va - in reading thru the responses, I think most everyone is saying that yes, there are issues with the children/students. it is what it is. I think everyone is also saying that the situation must be confronted and managed. That is possible (and necessary if you are ever going to enjoy being a teacher).You will need to develop a strategy as the situation that you describe will not "go away" on its own. I see a young lady who is just out of college in are school who is really struggling - she just was not prepared for the realities of the classroom. I try to encourage her - most, if not all, young professional person is going to struggle in their first year or two no matter what field they choose (assuming they have chosen a profession that comes with challenges as most do). She is being proactive in trying to deal with these problems and that is the key. She has talked about quitting and I tell her if she is patient and continues to work hard she will be rewarded in the end. If she quits and goes to another school (as she says) I have told her the problem will just move with her.

    Bottom line, our young people are challenging. that is unfortunate. Accept it and find ways to attack the "problems". There are solutions and wishing for better kids is not one of them (it is a strategy that may be effective if you are willing to teach in other cultures rather than the US).And that too may be a strategy - have you considered teaching school in India or some other country? I have talked to some young people who taught English in Korea and they absolutely loved that experience. They described the children as being more like what you described in India. Best wishes to you.
     
  14. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    Nov 12, 2011

    I agree, for the most part, about kids learning to respect their teachers because they are respected themselves.

    But it isn't always this utopian. I have students whose parents flat out tell them NOT to respect the teachers and administrators. I've called parents who have told me that they will not speak to their child about their behavior because they teach their children not to back down to any white people, no matter who they are. I've had parents call me and tell me I WILL stay after school on Thursday so their child can make up the test she missed when she skipped class. I've had parents call and YELL at me because I sent their daughters to the office for dress code violations.

    Some of the students that come from homes like this can be won over in the classroom. Some have these ideas planted so deeply that they won't be able to change while in high school.
     
  15. GTB4GT

    GTB4GT Cohort

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    Nov 12, 2011

    this confirms the point that

    was made by the person who originally started this thread. This is just sad. I am a new teacher. I often wonder how children like this will end up 15 - 30 years from now. I do know that some students mature late but is there any realistic chance of a child recovering from bad or no parenting?
     
  16. 99 percent

    99 percent Rookie

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    Nov 17, 2011

    They are all out of control at every grade level. And those of you who think you have them under your thumb; you should see what they are doing when your back is turned. If it’s bad for the teacher its worse for the substitute. And they blame us for being a glorified babysitter. They are no afraid of us.
    I was in high school in the 1980’s and have been a sub since 2001. In that time, many changes have taken place. I work in an area that most would call “economically challenged” and there is no respect for adults. Kids ignore directions, listen to their IPODS, Cellphones and get up and leave the room when they get bored.
     
  17. Special-t

    Special-t Enthusiast

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    Nov 17, 2011

    I think that students now feel free to act upon their impulses and say what's on their mind much more so than when I was in high school years ago. And kids now have absolutely horrible role models who are too easily accessible to young impressionable minds. I know some parents who won't let their young kids watch the Simpsons because Bart is so outspoken ... and Bart is innocent compared most of what my students watch! Most of my students have nearly completely unsupervised TV, movie and video game access.

    That said, on the whole, my public Title-1 school has SUPER AMAZING non-defiant students. I think it's because we have relatively small class sizes so we are able to build relationships with our students.
     
  18. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Nov 18, 2011


    I don't have my kids "under my thumb."

    But, just out of curiosity: how do you know what goes on behind my back or the back of anyone else?
     
  19. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Nov 18, 2011

    I think it's those who have an "under the thumb" approach who have a "behind the back" issue.
     
  20. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Nov 18, 2011

    That's kind of what I was thinking. My kids don't behave for me out of fear. They like me and respect me and do as I request.
     
  21. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Nov 18, 2011

    The OP hasn't been back. I hope s/he got what was needed for the class assignment.:dizzy:
     

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