When students expect special treatment because they were the teachers pet last year

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Misha, Apr 4, 2018.

  1. Misha

    Misha New Member

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    Apr 4, 2018

    I teach PreK in a daycare setting. I’ve been struggling with students who feel my classroom rules do not imply to them because they were the favorite in their previous classroom last year or two years ago and did not have to follow the same rules as their peers or received extra attention/treats because the teacher they had found them “cute.” I am desperately trying to convey to my principal how frustrating it is to have to break students of this attitude of “the rules don’t apply to me” that previous teachers have instilled in them. I try to treat all my students the same and have one set of rules that I expect all of them to follow.
    I also have a coworker who visits one of my students twice a day because he is her all time favorite and it is disruptive to my day and has made correcting behavior problems with this student difficult, extremely difficult. On one occasion this student was having a very difficult day. I had just talked to him about interrupting and correcting teachers (he does this me all the time and 9 times out of 10 I have said exactly what I meant). I let her know that the student was having a rough day. She immediately starts cuddling him and telling him it’s okay. This is happening a lot lately.
    I am desperately searching for studies that proves or lists the negative effects of favoritism. It frustrating trying to convey to my coworkers that their blatant favoritism makes my job harder. Has anyone else experienced this?
     
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  3. ready2learn

    ready2learn Comrade

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    Apr 4, 2018

    I will say on your first part, there are still those students that I teach in middle school each year. They have never gotten in trouble before. They believe that nothing they do will get them into trouble.
     
  4. svassillion

    svassillion Companion

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    Apr 4, 2018

    I can't stand when I'm discussing a student's immaturity with another staff member and all they can say is how cute the child is. What does that matter?
     
    ready2learn likes this.
  5. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Apr 4, 2018

    2 years ago and still in preK? These are babies. Love them all. Set limits. No favoritism.
     
  6. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Apr 13, 2018

    So I have one of those precious girls who cries every time she's in trouble. She pushed one kid, and just before we were ready to go outside, she scratched another! I said, "That's it...you're staying inside!" I sent her over to the 2yr old room, asking the teacher if she could stay in. The teacher said yes. Usually, they give them some paper and crayons, and it's fine. Well this time, administrator comes outside and tells me I can't leave her inside, she's crying. I explained what happened. She said, well, I can just let her sit down for awhile. (I didn't feel like arguing, so I went in) I was going to get her anyway, just after a five minutes or so.

    I come in, and talking loud enough for the entire building is the cook! She's going on and on about how it was unfair that this girl couldn't go outside, as nice as it was today. And, if it were her relative, they better not tell her that her child couldn't go out! Then she walked past me. I didn't say anything, but later, brought it up to another director. I feel it was rude, disrespectful and borderline threatening. I don't tell her how to cook lunch, so she needs to stay out of my business! This administrator agreed with me, and said she would talk to the entire staff.

    And, I found my kid in the office, sitting on another administrator's lap, hugging her like a 6 month old! Yeah, nobody bothered to ask me anything. They think the kids are cute and need to be spoiled. Parents will complain if they are crying. So they cry all the time, until somebody comes over and totally disrespects me by not even asking what is wrong. They just get down on their knees and scoop this kid up.

    Too many people think they can run your class. I totally agree with you. It's nonsense, and it will only make it worse for them when they get to kindergarten!!
     
  7. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Apr 14, 2018

    I'm adding something I just put in another thread...

    Can it be possible that some teachers love our kids too much, and we are reluctant to let them go? If you are in the same building, and you 'visit' them too often, are you hindering them, and their teacher??

    Too many teachers, and administrators especially - become very attached to all the children, especially in a small center. One came in my class yesterday, and started talking to my kids. I had to ask some questions, to get some feedback. She said she had known one boy since he was 6 months old. She's been in this center for 7 years. Apparently, these administrators, (some of who were once teachers) develop a vested interest and serious connection to our children. It doesn't seem to matter to them what classroom they are in. They just walk in and start talking (or yelling - in many cases). They feel they are entitled.

    Where does this leave us as teachers? I feel like a bad episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond". Somebody else will always come in and tell my kid something, and it's as if I don't exist in my own room. I really hate it when other teachers pull them out in the hall, and I don't know where they are. This does not happen in elementary school. How can I convince these teachers that I am preparing our 5 year-olds for kindergarten, and you can't roam the halls visiting former teachers??
     
  8. TeacherWhoRuns

    TeacherWhoRuns Companion

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    Apr 15, 2018

    I have a student with two special needs older brothers. She's a sneaky one. I always say she waits until the attention is on her brothers and then dips her hand into the cookie jar. When she gets caught, she starts off with a smile as if it's all a joke. Then when there's a consequence she cries. She exhibits defiance in small amounts. Nothing too outlandish - she wants to be the good one, but she also tries to see how far she can get, particularly when your back is turned. I often have to tell her several times to stop something or do something or sit in her correct seat. Whatever it is.
    Every teacher who's had her is familiar with the pattern and is not amused. The problem is, the girl has the principal snowed. She believes this student is in the little mother role because of the brothers. One day I held her off a minute from recess to talk to her. The principal came in at that moment. The child curled up in a ball in the corner and cried and put on a big show....
    Anyway...it happens in elementary too.
     
  9. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Apr 16, 2018

    Here's my take...

    If I...

    Continued tying their shoes
    Served their food for them
    Folded their blankets
    Never said a mumbling word about their behavior
    Gave everyone stickers and treats on Friday
    And never said no..

    Where would that leave me?

    Oh yeah, like a few teachers who do this exact thing...

    When they get tired of the kids acting up, you know what they say??
    "I'm going to get Ms. So-n-so, and she will talk to you, do you want that?'
    I think I hate this more than the ones who spoil the kids. If you have no backbone, and don't do an ounce of discipline, you make the rest of us look like The Grinch.

    Ironically, this is what NAEYC, ECERS and most directors want. Peace and harmony, no loud talking, just smiling teachers and happy kids.

    What makes these people think they can go around and never do ANY discipline? Oh, then the former teachers want to come in and get my class back in control. That makes no sense!! (Get out of my room - please- I got this, thank you! :confused:

    I got one kid playing and talking at nap time. When I need to step away, and I ask this one teacher to step in, she rushes right over to this kid, covers her up and pats her on the back, until she falls asleep. I ain't doing that! I care for my kids, trust me. But they are 5! And I have lots of work to do. If I rocked 5 five year-olds to sleep every day I never would get anything done. And then they would demand, no expect this.

    I think those teachers who have only taught preschool have no idea what will happen in kindergarten. Am I wrong to have higher expectations for the oldest kids in the school? They don't want to be treated like babies either. They tell us this when we sing some fingerplays or put on lullaby music at naptime. Certainly there has to be some happy medium to get our 4s and 5s ready for 'big school.'
     

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