What's the deal with accepting gifts from students?

Discussion in 'Forum Announcements & FAQ' started by Maria Nunez, Mar 11, 2018.

  1. Maria Nunez

    Maria Nunez New Member

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    Mar 11, 2018

    Am I allowed to do that? I've read that I can't accept a gift over $50 because it implies that there will be special treatment toward this student. What if the student is a senior in high school and not in any of my classes ?
     
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  3. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Mar 11, 2018

    You should find out if your district has a policy about this. Also, why would a high schooler who is not your student be giving you a gift over $50?
     
  4. Maria Nunez

    Maria Nunez New Member

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    Will do. It's a former student of mine who sometimes gives me gifts for my birthday and whatnot. Just trying to make sure. Thanks for the answer though!
     
  5. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Connoisseur

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    This is why I love working at a private school. There are no rules like that here. Speaking of which, I’ve had students give me $100 before in cash as Christmas gifts. I happily accepted each and every one!
     
  6. vickilyn

    vickilyn Virtuoso

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    Mar 12, 2018

    What I might accept for tutoring is vastly different from what I would consider acceptable from my students, and I will tell you why. That student you have worked with after school, weekends, and through summer break may have been hard to make headway with, but you won't be assigning a grade. You will receive great word of mouth and build a reputation for excellence, but it is a case of doing everything possible to make things click for that student. The parents have spent a lot of money for your services, so a gift doesn't seem inappropriate.

    Working with students during my workday has already been paid in full. Appreciation for my caring and concern can be as simple as a simple thank you. I love the little things like a plate of cookies or a handmade card. Some of those have meant the world to me.
     
  7. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Mar 12, 2018

    Gifts don’t come with price tags attached. Send thank you notes
     
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  8. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Mar 13, 2018

    I don't eat homemade treats. :spitwater:
     
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  9. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    When I was in Head Start, we had to do home visits. Most of my families would put out a big spread like it was Thanksgiving! I politely refused meals, sometimes taking a piece of fruit only or bottle of water. The mothers were quite upset with me. I felt bad because a few said, “Teacher, you must eat, or my husband will think our home was not pleasing to you!” :(
     
  10. ms.irene

    ms.irene Groupie

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    Oh my, this is so sweet! May I ask, were these families from a particular background or culture that places such a high value on teachers?
     
  11. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    This year, I recieved quite a few gifts. And yes, a parent gave me $50 too! Never had an Easter gift bag before, but got one last week! I agree that thank you cards, and in person appreciation is necessary. Nothing in my personnel policy against taking gifts.

    I don’t treat their kids any differently. Never show favoritism to anyone, gifts or no gifts.
     
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  12. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Well...Ms.Irene,

    I have allergies, so this was not good for me. These were Armenian familes, and yes - it was definitely a cultural thing.

    Additionally, the parents insisted on kissing everyone, especially teachers, and expected to be kissed, & their child to be kissed - every single day.

    Well, not to hijack the thread...but this was not comfortable for me at all. Needless to say, when I tried to hug, pat on shoulder, or extended my hand, I got evil stare. Supervisor called me on carpet and said, “Parents tell me, Teacher MPK doesn’t kiss me or my son.”

    No, not a cheek peck, full front lips - Sheesh...:confused:
     
  13. Backroads

    Backroads Fanatic

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    Maybe it's because I"m not really a gifts person (I like receiving and giving gifts just fine, don't get me wrong, but they're not something that is particularly meaningful to me, definitely not my love language and many of the rules around them befuddle me) but I never did understand the worry about favoritism with them. It's a gift. It was nice of them. I didn't realize I was supposed to do treat the person any differently.

    Someone with better understanding of the gift love language ought to clue me in.
     
  14. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Backroads...can you elaborate on ‘the gift of love language?’

    I believe I had expectations and customs that once were part of me. In different relationships, I changed - ok, I lowered my expectations when I didn’t get what I was accustomed to.

    I had some losses in my life and really cut back on celebrations, because things were’nt the same. Maybe I need a new thread...:(

    What I will say is as a teacher, I always kept a low profile with affection towards my kids. Even though it’s preschool, I try not to be too touchy feely. My kids fall all over me, but I seriously try to wean them from this, starting after Spring break, because the kdg. teachers won’t allow it. Parents can butter you up with gifts, and some are truly thoughtful. They don't understand and I hate to imagine a brutal wake up call from pre-k to K.
     
  15. Backroads

    Backroads Fanatic

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    Ack, I meant the love language of gifting. Ready up on "Love Languages".

    Gifts mean a lot more to some people than they to do others. I think it affects this situation of gifting with teachers.
     
  16. ms.irene

    ms.irene Groupie

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    I think it's interesting to see how this can very with different cultures and communities. I taught at a very poor, private school with mostly Latino, Philippino, and African-American families, and I got lots of gifts, some surprisingly lavish for a low-income community. I think gift-giving was a way for these families to show how much they appreciated their teachers. It was also a K-8 school, so I think gift-giving is maybe more common for the lower grades. Now, I teach in a public, suburban district (high school) with a huge range of families, socially and economically. I rarely get gifts other than the occasional Starbucks gift card, or home-baked goods (which I don't actually eat!). I always write thank-you cards, either way, since I know even the littlest things can mean a lot.

    My favorite "gift" is always a hand-written note from a student -- I always save them and re-read them when I need a pick-me-up. We get so little thanks in our work sometimes that when a student does go out of our way to say thank you, it means a lot.
     
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  17. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Connoisseur

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    This is disgusting. How can people honestly kiss someone they’ve never met?! This is how people get herpes. I can see it now:

    Mom: “What did you get today, honey?”

    Son/Daughter: “Herpes!”

    Hell. To. The. NO!
     
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  18. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    LOL...Exactly futuremathsprof!:confused:

    So..Ms.Irene and Backroads....we see culture, ethnic groups, income and age group also play a role in gift giving.

    I see the same with staff and admin. See this with passing of the card/community gift envelope/principal’s gift, Xmas party. Truly varies with area, ethnic groups and income.

    Sometimes, I just put $10 for the year, and then there’s the baby\bridal\retirement party that comes unexpected, and Xmas grab bag, when I rather give my own gift to certain people. Throws me off when somebody says, “We’re all pitching in $30 for Ps gift.”.

    Uhhhh....
     
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  19. rpan

    rpan Comrade

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    Mar 30, 2018

    I love receiving cards more than anything and I have kept every single card or note that any student has written me. But I’m not opposed to receiving other gifts too!
     
  20. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    I'm just a sub right now but I get consistent work in the district. In addition to all of the little "You're the best teacher ever!" notes I get, I subbed for two weeks in the fourth grade class and on Valentine's day, one of the kiddos walked in and asked if I "drink coffee or anything'' and then handed me a bag which contained THIS! I proudly accepted it and posted on FB! :heart:

    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  21. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Way cool...Leaborb192!:cool:
     
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