Wedding the 2nd week of school

Discussion in 'General Education' started by TeachCafe, Jun 11, 2017.

  1. TeachCafe

    TeachCafe Companion

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    Jun 11, 2017

    What would you do?

    My friend is getting married the 2nd week of school on a cruise. She's a former teacher and she has teacher friends so she know this time of year is critical but again she's a former teacher.

    She's getting married the 2nd week of school. I've looked but the ONLY way for me to attend is to be on the ship because the ceremony is on the private island only accessible through cruise passangers. Otherwise, I'd try to fly down and take a chartered boat and take 2-3 days off.

    It's a 7 day cruise. Oh how I wish she got married in August of November.

    We're not as close as we use to be, graduation and starting careers and moving across the country as lessened the bond but she's still one of my good friend and we've been friend since we were 14. I'm not the only one who cannot go but I feel bad not going.

    What would you do?
     
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  3. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Jun 11, 2017

    I wouldn't be able to get a week off for a vacation at any point during the school year, so I would have to decline.

    I could, perhaps, apply for a short-term unpaid leave of absence, but it would have to be approved by both my administrator and the superintendent; I'm not sure of the likelihood of that.
     
  4. agdamity

    agdamity Enthusiast

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    Jun 11, 2017

    I would wish her well and ask for lots of pictures! In my district, taking a week off for a cruise, at any point of the year, would be near impossible without written permission from the Superintendent. Even with permission, 3 of the days would be without pay as we are only allotted 2 personal days per year.

    I would try harder to get the time off work if it was a close family member such as a sibling. Yes, life exists outside of the school year, and teachers shouldn't have to be relegated to only taking vacations during school breaks, but only you know how well this would go over in your district.
     
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  5. vickilyn

    vickilyn Maven

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    Jun 11, 2017

    I just saw one of our teachers get grief about being out three consecutive days, and the teacher was officiating at the ceremony! I would send my regrets and send a gift. Get together with the newlyweds at a more appropriate time. Your friend was a teacher - she has to know that her teacher friends are almost all going to be no-shows, so consider that you have been invited with the full realization that your attendance is highly unlikely.
     
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  6. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Phenom

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    Jun 11, 2017

    Send your regrets and a wedding gift. Ask her to post pictures and videos when she returns.
     
  7. heatherberm

    heatherberm Comrade

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    Jun 11, 2017

    Yeah, I have to agree with all the advice given so far. I have enough personal days that I *could* take a week off and get paid for it, but our personal days have to go through an approval process and I'm not sure that that would get approved unless the bride or groom was immediate family. And even if it would, I don't think I'd feel comfortable even asking unless it was a parent or sibling.
     
  8. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

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    Jun 11, 2017

    The people I've known that have held destination weddings have generally done so as a way of keeping the wedding extremely small and personal, limited to an inner circle of family members. Your friend probably knows full well you won't be able to come, and won't think any worse of you for it.
     
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  9. bella84

    bella84 Enthusiast

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    Jun 11, 2017

    I wouldn't go even if it was during the summer. I don't feel that I should have to spend my own time and money on someone else's choice to hold a destination wedding... especially not one as exclusive as you've described, and especially when I'm not close with the person, as you've described. I agree that it's highly likely she is doing her wedding this way to intentionally keep it small. Just politely decline and wish them well.
     
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  10. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Comrade

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    Jun 12, 2017

    I would not be attending. I think people with destination weddings know that no one besides close family and some friends will be able to come.
    Especially if you need to take a week off from work, I think that is a lot to expect when people may have their vacation time planned for other things or cannot afford a cruise. As a teacher, it is not possible! I would decline and send a nice gift. :)
     
  11. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Aficionado

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    I wouldn't be able to take that amount of time off. I guess you could put in a request and see if it was granted but honestly I'd just not bother and send a gift.
     
  12. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Aficionado

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    Sometimes people plan weddings at certain times that are cheaper than "peak" times (which would be in the middle of the summer) so that might have been her motivation for that particular date.
     
  13. Rabbitt

    Rabbitt Connoisseur

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    Jun 14, 2017

    To me it doesn't even sound like you have the option of going. And even if you manage to go, will it be worth it? Planning, using your only days early and for someone else, cost, leaving kids when you're teaching expectations, etc. I'd be out. Send a letter, call the night before or day of, and send a great gift. Maybe spend some time with her helping pack, shop, hair, nails, etc....and again when she returns.
     
  14. giraffe326

    giraffe326 Virtuoso

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    Jun 14, 2017

    When people chose a destination wedding, they should know that they will have far fewer guests. I wouldn't worry about not being able to attend. Send a gift. Attend the shower if possible (since it sounds like you do not live near each other.)
    My sister got married in Jamaica. She made it clear that anyone could come, but no one should feel obligated. For her and her husband, it was just parents, siblings, and one friend each. No one else could drop a few grand to attend the wedding, and she understood.
     

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