In sixteen years of teaching, this is my first ever post on any teaching forum, despite having read thousands. I just am really seeking some objective advice and encouragement. If you are new to teaching please do not read, I don't want to be the toxic veteran people warn you against! We need new, young committed teachers like you in the profession!! I started teaching in 2001, and over the last seventeen years I've gone from being that rockstar teacher that ALL students loved and were inspired by, the one who received highly effective ratings year after year, the one who stayed at school every night until 9:00pm (you know the one that the janitor would insist on walking to the car), the one who delightfully graded papers because day to day student work was a measure of student/teacher success and progress . . . TO the one who dreads and experiences anxiety every time the alarm goes off, the one who has piles upon piles of work that needs to be graded (which I have absolutely no desire to grade), the one who now struggles to manage some of her classes. Funny I used to walk past rooms of teachers with poor management and say, "Gosh I'm glad I'm not that teacher or, that could never be me." Now it is me on a daily basis. Finally, I've become that one who now struggles to build relationships with many of her students. The one who has heard students say, "I hate this class." I tell my mother all the time, I feel like that athlete who keeps playing beyond their prime, you know the one who should have retired while on top but keeps playing. I think this feeling started brewing a few years after my daughter, who is now six, was born. I started feeling this kind of resentment to teaching because I felt like admin expected me to put the needs of someone else's child over my own. Or, instead of taking my child out on weekends and exposing her to all the things we want our students to be exposed to, I have to stay home and plan and grade because I can no longer stay at school late every evening. Not to mention all the new clerical stuff teachers are now required to do. It's almost like you can't be both great parent and a great teacher, in this day and age something suffers, especially if you work in an urban school district. I feel as if some nights I come home and have nothing left to offer my own child because I've just spent the last 8 hours trying to be all things to all students. With the unrealistic, ever changing, ever growing amount of demands that are placed on teachers, I literally feel like I'm cracking under the pressure. Teaching is becoming unrecognizable to me, which is a shame because it has been a love and a passion of mine for so many years. I just guess I'm tired of dealing with all these demands, tired of going to work everyday and fighting with children who are growing more disrespectful by the year. Tired of all these new initiatives thought up by people who have either never been in a classroom or have not been in years. Tired of having to suck up disrespect because, "They're only kids, and kids will be kids. Onward and Upward." Tired of these new age parents, I mean when did we become the enemy? Tired of admin coddling the one or two children that mess it up for an entire class. Tired hearing at staff meetings, "You cannot put students out. When we do this they aren't learning." Well what about the fact they are making it impossible for the others in class to learn. Who stands up for those kids? The ones who have their learning impeded upon on a daily basis. Tired of the countless meetings, I've never met so much in life. Sitting in meetings won't make me a better teacher. What will make me a better teacher is if, I could use that same meeting time, making those phone calls, updating my student work board, word wall etc., grading that pile of papers, planning for differentiation, reading every students IEP, experimenting with smart board (when I first starting teaching all I had was an overhead projector) and all the other things they expect us to be able to do in a forty minute planning time (If that is not taken up by a meeting). Yes, I use my lunch period too to accomplish these things, but why should I have to? Long story short, I am turning in my resignation March 1st, for the following year. I know I'm not doing any one a service continuing to stay. I am looking in other fields. If I find another job early should I jump ship before the end of the year or should I do the more noble thing and wait it out until June. If I stay until June, how do I get over the burn out and survive until then? I feel like everyday it's just getting worse for me.