Teen pregnancy

Discussion in 'Debate & Marathon Threads Archive' started by Caesar753, Feb 12, 2013.

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  1. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Feb 12, 2013

    One of my students told me today that she is pregnant. I am heartbroken for her. She is amazingly smart and very talented, active in athletics and other extra-curriculars, and has a tremendous amount of potential. I know that she can be successful even with a baby, but I also know that it's going to be so difficult for her.

    I will never understand why teenagers make choices that result in pregnancy. Seriously. It's so easy to prevent.

    I am feeling very sad tonight.
     
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  3. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Virtuoso

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    There are so many reasons teens wind up being parents so young. Some are still under the delusion that they cannot get pregnant the first time or right after having a baby (from an actual former student who had two children 10 months apart). Some intentionally get pregnant as a step toward getting married to their high school sweethearts. Others cling to the ideal of unconditional love. Some just goofed their birth control. The reasons are endless. We as teachers have the challenge of being there to support these kids as best we can while trying to give them an education.
     
  4. JustMe

    JustMe Guru

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    Teenagers just make stupid decisions. They get caught up in the moment. The have unprotected sex. They get caught up in the moment and try drugs. They drink. Then drive. They think about the very moment they're in and not the next. If adults do the very same thing--and we certainly do--it's easy to understand that a fifteen year old would. I hope the very best for her. As you said indicated, this isn't "the end" if she doesn't let it be.
     
  5. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    My college son is dating a mother of a two year old. Part of me admires her...she had a child and still graduated top of her class in high school, she is attending college full time and doing well, and she is working a job on campus to earn money to support her child. BUT the mommy part of me doesn't want her dating my son. He is too young to be a father and I want him to complete college before he gets in a serious relationship. Her mother has taken the little girl to his apartment for him to watch her while gf works an hour or so and gfmom goes to work. He is getting attached to the little girl and I feel that the gf mom is out of line. It isn't fair to this little girl for someone that might not be in her life for the long term to develop a relationship with her. PLUS, I think that he might like the little girl more than the little girl's mother.
     
  6. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I might have used the wrong words. I do understand the reasons behind teen pregnancy--things like wanting to be loved, making a decision in the heat of the moment without thinking it through, etc. I guess I'm just frustrated. I was a teenager once upon a time, too. I didn't get pregnant (or drink, smoke, or do drugs). I was able to think through my decisions. I felt empowered to say no to things that would be bad for me and to say yes to things only after I had taken precautions to ensure that I would experience the best possible outcome (or at least not the worst possible outcome). I can't have been the only one like that, but it often feels that way.

    More than any of that, I don't understand why parents aren't more involved. My student who is pregnant comes from a supportive, loving family. Why didn't her mom teach her how to handle things so that she doesn't get pregnant? Why didn't her mom take her in to get birth control?
     
  7. JustMe

    JustMe Guru

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    Trust me, I also don't understand how "checked out" so many parents are. Some are pretendings things aren't happening and some truly are that out of touch. Either way, I don't understand.

    I'm not sure, though, a pregnant teen necessarily means a parent didn't do the things you mentioned.
     
  8. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Fanatic

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    Feb 13, 2013

    I had a student last year get pregnant while on the pill. She had a very active mom.
     
  9. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    I have a student who just had a baby. Her parents were and still are very involved.
     
  10. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    I know it probably won't make you feel better because I know you know this student personally. But I saw on the news yesterday that teen pregnancy is actually way down now-something like an 8% drop. I found that to be good news.
     
  11. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    My daughter had my first grandson when she was 16. She attended her Junior year at the school for teen age parents and in her senior, attended the local high school, played volleyball, and was on the homecoming court. At the teen parent school, there were around 10 other girls she had known from elementary and middle school. I don't know how they're all doing now, but I'm glad they had the courage to have the baby and stay in school. This girl will benefit from your support!
     
  12. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Fanatic

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    I wish that more teen parents considered adoption. It's almost never even thought about as an option anymore. I understand students with moral and religious objections choosing not to have abortions, but for many people adoption would still be a good choice. I know that having a child at a young age is not the stigma it once was, but these girls don't seem to understand how much their lives will change raising a child. Many of them become a statistic and never finish college and continue to live in moderate poverty working unskilled jobs their entire lives, and similarly setting up their own kids for failure.
     
  13. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Virtuoso

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    That is a good question. Perhaps the boyfriend was responsible for the birth control and it failed. Perhaps your student was afraid to rock the boat of parental support and was working up the courage to ask for a doctor's appointment. Perhaps she thought that this one time she'd be safe. I'm hoping that mom is gathering all she can to be supportive and loving now. It has to feel like the weight of the world is on that family.
     
  14. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    I remember my first year teaching about 1 month in I had a 14 year old girl tell me she was pregnant. I had no idea how to handle it! That's certainly something they don't teach you in university.

    Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure this girl dropped out. Just like her mother did when she had her at 16. It's so hard to stop the cycle. The school where I worked even had an onsite daycare so teen parents could continue to go to school.
     
  15. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    We have a student that just delivered her baby. She's doing her work at home until she can come back. She comes from a supportive family and the boyfriend was a steady one that is still in the picture. They are set to get married sometime soon I believe.
     
  16. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Fanatic

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    Hopefully your district is better at working with teen mothers. Our new moms get 3 weeks off from the date of delivery. That's it. I think that is inhumane, as many of them come back and have not physically fully recovered from the delivery, not to mention the fact that no daycare can take a child that young in this state. It's like we want them to fail.
     
  17. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Virtuoso

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    My school, by nature, attracts pregnant girls and young mothers. We often get students from other districts who don't know how to handle a pregnancy in their school. My first year, I think 70% of my students were parents or about to be (this includes the male students). Even with our online flexibility, we allow six weeks of maternity leave with the understanding that assignments should be made up later. Three weeks doesn't cover physical recovery, let alone mental adjustments.

    Saddest comment I've heard on the subject? "You know, this is so much harder than it looked on Teen Mom."
     
  18. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    :eek:

    This is one of the reasons I'm so pro-daycare in high schools. First of all teen parents have a free place to take their kids, and it's convenient (at school!) Plus they make a class out of it and the students realize how much it takes to take care of a baby.
     
  19. callmebob

    callmebob Enthusiast

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    Am I the only one whose first response to hearing that the teenage girl got pregnant while in high school is, "why was she having sex." That is the first thing that makes me sad.
     
  20. a2z

    a2z Aficionado

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    Nope, bob. I know the realities of today. More often than not the comment is, "She really isn't having sex at this age!"

    Sad reality of the days when love is free, and we must be accepting of everthing. No more calling a ho a ho. No more saying someone is easy or cheap. Nope. There is only something wrong with thinking those choices are wrong.
     
  21. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Wow.

    If you're implying here that my student is a ho, easy, or cheap, then I will respectfully request that this thread be closed. I'm not going to participate in this sort of cruel bullying.
     
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