Hey, everybody. My countdown to resignation continues. I did put in my resignation letter, effective June 15th. Life has gotten so much easier knowing that I won’t be returning next year. I’m actually looking into different careers right now. I did love teaching, but I think I want to put it on the shelf for a while. I was actually thinking about teaching college instead of high school, or possibly going into writing, publishing, or archival studies. I actually saved up for a trip this summer. I still have been losing sleep at night though. Aside from the normal stressors of the job, I’ve just been feeling so down about myself. I feel like I’ve failed. I wanted this to work out so, so much. There were days when I truly loved coming to work, when I didn’t have such bad anxiety, when all I wanted to do was teach. Sadly, whenever I’m not teaching, like if I’m at a PD all day, I’m happier. In a lot of ways, I know I screwed up. I’m not “rigorous enough” and I’m solely “a partially effective educator” according to my VP. I came to this urban school thinking all schools were the same, and I tried so many approaches to teaching these at-risk kids. I even bought them school supplies and books because our department spent our entire budget on PD’s instead of the core texts. I do love these kids wholeheartedly, even the ones who have tried assaulting me or who have cursed me out. It just doesn’t change the way I feel. I’ve failed as a teacher. What makes an ideal teacher? And more importantly, how does one deal with the “teacher guilt”?