Student has a crush on me... How to handle it?

Discussion in 'General Education' started by RussianBlueMommy, Apr 20, 2017.

  1. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    Apr 20, 2017

    Hi everyone

    I am wondering if anyone has ever dealt with a situation in which a student becomes infatuated with you? I know this is (I think) a fairly common thing with younger, male teachers that teach adolescent girls, but I'm a woman- Plus I'm old and ugly lol. (Maybe not ugly, but I fail to see what is attractive about an overweight 30 year old woman).

    Anyway, this student is 14 and is always "clinging" to me when I have him in class. He comes in, calls me by name, asks how my day is, etc. Which in and of itself is not bad but it gets creepy when it's continual. More than that, he will openly flirt with me and try to hug me. When he gets ready to leave class, he will say something along the lines of "Bye Mrs.M. You're looking pretty today" and attempt to hug me. I say attempt because I have so far been able to successfully circumvent it to a high five.

    I don't want to embarrass the kid at all, and I know crushes pass (I had a huge crush on my High school math teacher.. it passed). But I also think it's inappropriate behavior.
    Thanks!

    M
     
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  3. Anonymous Barbie

    Anonymous Barbie Rookie

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    Apr 20, 2017

    Hmmm, I would actually approach your principal on this one. This could get iffy if you ask him to stay after class (kids talk), and even if you explain to him that the behavior is inappropriate, concealing it from your administrator could be bad news for you.

    In today's climate, when you see one teacher a week somewhere in the US getting dragged in for a mugshot, you need to protect yourself as a professional, and let your administrators know that it's happening. I would defer to their judgement on how they want to handle it. I would say "I can discuss it with him, or you can bring him in, but I wanted you to know that the attention is inappropriate and I would like it to stop."

    You have a right to be safe from sexual harassment, and this includes coming from students. The student should be held to the same standards as the educators, and held to the same standards he would be if he were giving these attentions to a female student.
     
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  4. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Apr 20, 2017

    I agree with telling your admin. That way you've done your due diligence in case any accusations are made. Only ever be in the room with the student with the door open, or there are multiple other students there to serve as witnesses.

    I try to make it pretty clear that I'm not open to any overtures by doing redirects as you said ( blatantly changing to hand-shakes instead of hugs, etc.).
     
  5. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    Apr 20, 2017

    I spoke to them . Admin said they would handle it and for the time being are going to place me in classes he isn't in.
     
  6. vickilyn

    vickilyn Virtuoso

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    Apr 20, 2017

    By the way, if you think 30 is "old", wait until you've been doing this for another 20 years. THEN you get to use the term "old", but won't want too! Glad admin took care of this for you.
     
  7. Linguist92021

    Linguist92021 Phenom

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    Apr 20, 2017

    30 is not old!!! I'm 43 and I'm definitely not old, so don't even go there lol.
     
  8. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Comrade

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    Apr 20, 2017

    Alright lol. 30 isn't old. Actually I just turned 31, LOL. How did I forget
     
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