Rough 1st Year

Discussion in 'New Teachers Archives' started by BioTeacher, Nov 30, 2006.

  1. BioTeacher

    BioTeacher New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2006
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 30, 2006

    Hi, I am in my 1st year teaching biology and general science classes in an urban school. I lost my brother to leukemia 4 days before the beginning of the year and I am struggling with anxiety. I usually enjoy my biology classes but the general science class is last period and huge and I have trouble getting some of the students to keep working for the full hour and half block that I have them. They need work that is highly structured and divided into about 20 min increments but the book I work from is the complete opposite. It gives assignments that require students to have a great deal of self control and self motivation. I am exhausted by having to make up supplemental worksheets and activities for them. I have looked on the book's supplemental but there aren't any supplemental materials there. I spend so much time making worksheets etc that I fall behind in grading in all classes. It has been about 3 months now since my brother died and it is getting harder for me to keep going.
     
  2.  
  3. grade1teacher

    grade1teacher Companion

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2006
    Messages:
    249
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 30, 2006

    I am so sorry about your loss. It must be so difficult to deal with that pain and also keep up with a huge adjustment: your first year of teaching!
    Honestly, I don't have any experience with older grades, so I cant give you expert advice. But one thing is for certain - you must make time for yourself - to grieve, to relax, to feel like a person. You need it, and deserve it.
    Maybe you can give specifics on what grade you teach, and content - others might be able to give you advice on materials etc..
    I wish you the best!
     
  4. ozteach

    ozteach Comrade

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2006
    Messages:
    360
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 30, 2006

    I lost my brother too, about six months ago.

    Please, please, see someone. This type of loss, no doubt after a long time of illness, really shakes your world. I think we all need to let our grief out and it's hard to do that when your children are around, or you're teaching, or your dad calls at 6 in the morning, because Mum's been crying since 3am. Really. The best thing I did was speak to a counsellor, only a couple of times. It was the only way I could look after me and then continue to look after everyone else.
    You've got two major life changes to deal with - loss and new job. Either one of those on their own is difficult to cope with, cut yourself some slack and be prepared to not be perfect this year!:)
     
  5. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2002
    Messages:
    18,936
    Likes Received:
    678

    Nov 30, 2006

    I am so sorry for your loss, Bio. And for you, too Oz. I lost my husband 5 years ago and I have had so many awful days. I think Oz gave good advice. You do need to ease up on yourself. That you are able to handle this first year with any success is a great achievement. Do what you can for the last period class, but don't make yourself nuts.
     
  6. nasimi77

    nasimi77 Groupie

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2005
    Messages:
    1,429
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 30, 2006

    Bio: Your post really touches me because I can see what a passion you have for teaching, even in the midst of such pain. However, the others are right: Be good to yourself and allow yourself to grieve. I am a first year teacher too and it's been really tough. Everyone tells me it will get easier and I am beginning to see things improve, but it's taken a lot of time....and I'm hardly there yet. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. This is a great loss you have had to deal with at a really difficult time. Know that teaching will get better, and with the head you have on your shoulders and your determination, things will improve. My prayers will be with you tonight. My blessings to you as well Oz.
     
  7. BioTeacher

    BioTeacher New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2006
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 1, 2006

    Thank You

    I was so touched by everyone's responses. I was talking to my mom about it and she said it made sense that a group of teachers would be a great care and support system because those are the kind of qualities that usually make people want to go into teaching. I am starting the process of finding a good counselor. I'm hoping some expert advice can help me start to work through some of the grief. Hopefully a counselor will also be able to help me learn how to control my anxiety. It is mostly just bad in the morning but I wake up with my heart racing and feeling sick and I have hard time slowing my heart back down. Does anyone else have this problem and if so what kinds of things help control it?
    Thanks again
     
  8. hescollin

    hescollin Fanatic

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2004
    Messages:
    2,612
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 1, 2006

    Sending e mail hugs, a prayer to Heaven and sympathy to you.
     
  9. lajoers3

    lajoers3 Comrade

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2006
    Messages:
    314
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 13, 2006

    I have no advice but big hugs coming your way from Australia ((((((hugs)))))))
     
  10. lajoers3

    lajoers3 Comrade

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2006
    Messages:
    314
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 13, 2006

    Okay sorry, I have no idea why it did that
     
  11. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Dec 13, 2006

    I'm so sorry, both for your loss and the hard time you're having in school. I'm glad you're getting some counseling--talking things out really does help!

    As to the science, have you asked the other teachers in your department what they do? I'm math with 38 minute periods, so I have nothing concrete to offer you. Also, hit the internet-- google "science lesson plans" or something more specific. Don't take the whole lesson plan; canned lessons never seem to work out. But steal all the ideas you can find and make them your own.

    The best of luck to you!
     
  12. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2002
    Messages:
    18,936
    Likes Received:
    678

    Dec 13, 2006

    How are you doing now?
     
  13. BioTeacher

    BioTeacher New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2006
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 15, 2006

    Thanks for the interest. Things are going alright. My 4th block class has been working better. I still have trouble sleeping and I get very sad in the morning going to work. Since my brother got sick I've been thinking about moving over to working in clinical research. Getting my Pennsylvania certificate transferred over to a New Jersey one has been a huge pain. My education department in Pa said it would be simple to get it switched over and I might even get my NJ certificate before I got my PA one. It is a year later and I'm still not fully certified in NJ so If I left teaching now I would have a hard time going back and I dont want to close that door. I think I might want to go back to teaching later and then I would have even more experience and interesting things to bring to the classroom. I'm also torn because the school I work for now has gone through 3 bio teachers in the last 3 years. I like the principal and the people I work with so I would feel very guilty about leaving.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. Ms.Holyoke
Total: 305 (members: 4, guests: 270, robots: 31)
test