pros and cons to getting married during the school year

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by Elcsmith, Apr 20, 2008.

  1. Elcsmith

    Elcsmith Companion

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    Apr 20, 2008

    Hi all,
    My fiance and I really want a fall wedding. We're talking about getting married in October over "fall break" (which is really just one teacher workday.) After we got married I would be out for a week for the honeymoom and obviously my name would changing! We're still deciding if this is the best idea or not. Can you guys think of any pros or cons to getting married during the school year. Here are a few I've thought of...

    Pros

    -less expensive than getting married in peak months
    -cooler weather
    -less likely to conflict with vacation

    Cons
    -a week off at the beginning of the school year
    -change in name mid school year
    -explaining to the principal (but she's awesome)

    If you've married mid school year I'd love to hear about your experiences.
    THANKS! This forum rocks!
     
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  3. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Apr 20, 2008

    I think the time off would be the biggest factor for me. It's a lot of work to take a week off during the school year. Do you have enough personal days to be able to do that?

    My husband and I originally planned a fall wedding (late October), but moved the date up due to scheduling issues. Our schedules were obviously the most important to us, so we wanted to find a date which would accommodate our needs. We also considered the needs of our guests, for whom it would have been much easier to take time off in the summer than in the fall.

    In the end, we chose to get married in mid-August. We were worried about the heat as well, so we chose a more temperate location in the Pacific Northwest, and it turned out to be a beautiful day. We saved quite a bit of money by having our wedding on a Friday afternoon instead of on the weekend.

    Oh, and that's another thing. How much of your wedding are you taking care of yourself? We did most of our stuff entirely on our own, and it got a little hectic as we got closer to the date. If I had not had about a week off before the event to take care of those things, I would have been super stressed.

    Of course, in the end it's your wedding and it should be on a date of your choosing. It will work out either way. :)

    Congratulations!
     
  4. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Apr 20, 2008

    Is there a longer fall break you could get married over? We have Teacher's Convention in NJ in November- 2 days off so you wouldn't have to take as many days off in such a situation...A teacher in a local district planned her wedding and then was let go because the board denied her leave and she took it anyway since her plans were already made. I'd run the idea of a week off for the honeymoon by your administrator before planning!
     
  5. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Apr 20, 2008

    I agree with czacza-

    Schools are simply not as lenient with these things. My cousin got married a few weeks ago and is going on her honeymoon over spring break... not such a long wait

    Another teacher I know got married in Nov and is going on her honeymoon this week while school is out.

    I'd say if you don't mind postponing the honeymoon.... that it would be a good idea.
     
  6. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Apr 20, 2008

    We don't get personal days, so the only way a teacher could get a week off during the school year would be to apply for a leave of absence. Although they should approve it, there's always a possibility it would be denied, no matter how supportive the principal was. Postponing the honeymoon would be a good idea.
     
  7. luv2garden

    luv2garden Rookie

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    Apr 20, 2008

    My husband and I just recently got married. We really wanted to get married in the fall (it is our favorite season), but it simply was not in the cards for us. So, we decided to push it back to December, so that I would have two weeks off to get things ready, get married, and relax a bit before going back to school. We did not have time to go on a honeymoon over winter break, so we waited and went over spring break (which was just a couple of weeks ago)! It was really something to look forward to, and I only took one day off of school!

    I have not yet changed my name (at school) because I know that it would really upset my kids, so I am waiting until next year.

    I hope everything works out for you!

    :)
     
  8. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    Apr 20, 2008

    Congrats!

    It just really depends on how conservative your school board is, the principal would have to ok it, but then she'd still have to answer to the board if they questioned it. I'm thinking mine board members don't have a romantic bone in their body and probably wouldn't approve.

    I'd marry several weeks before schools started if at all possible, start the new year out w/a new name, have the HUGE stress of wedding details behind me so I could just enjoy starting a new life and new school year.

    My daughter married the end of May a couple of years ago and it liked to have killed me trying to do all that planning while being in school, and I didn't have to plan for a sub because I didn't miss any school days. If you have family doing your planning it will be easier for you.

    Good luck!
     
  9. Mamacita

    Mamacita Aficionado

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    Apr 20, 2008

    I got married on a Saturday in January, intending to take off Monday (it was a half-day and a work-day) and go back on Tuesday. Because of the blizzards, I ended up with a two-month honeymoon, buried in snow in the little house out in the country we barely managed to drive to.

    That was enough "honeymoon" for anybody, but for our official honeymoon, we went to Disney World that next fall.

    Who cares WHEN your honeymoon is? Who says it has to be right after the wedding?

    And, closest of all to my heart, who says weddings have to be a huge, expensive deal? We saved our money for Disney World.
     
  10. clarnet73

    clarnet73 Moderator

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    Apr 20, 2008

    I know one teacher who got married right towards the beginning of the school year and just started the year out with her new married name. And another one who just used her maiden name with the kids for the rest of the year and used her new name starting that summer.
     
  11. mrs100

    mrs100 Comrade

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    Apr 20, 2008

    I got married on December 4th a few years back, and I talked to my principal right away to make sure I could take time off for our honeymoon. I used up all my personal days, but I was still able to take the time off. I taught 5th, and I just used my maiden name the rest of the year. Some of them liked calling me by my new name, so I just went with either one. I highly recommend at least trying to go on your honeymoon right away. I don't regret it for a second! Sometimes if people don't go right away, they won't go at all! Talk it over with your principal first and foremost and see how she would feel about you taking a week off for the honeymoon.
     
  12. SaraFirst

    SaraFirst Cohort

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    A teacher at our school got married in the fall and took off the Friday before the wedding and the week after. She used her personal days and took the rest unpaid. You should definitely check ahead of time to see if this is ok. She changed her name and the kids adjusted fine. A few times they called her by her old name, but it was no big deal. Like the others said, it might be easier to take a later honeymoon. Plus, it will be stressful preparing and teaching at the same time.
     
  13. agdamity

    agdamity Fanatic

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    Apr 20, 2008

    A teacher at our school got married this Jan. She took off a week and a day. She was stressed trying to get the wedding stuff done, and plan for all the sub work, etc. If you're okay with missing at least a week of school, and your principal and school board are okay with it, then go for it. I agree with another poster who said to talk with your principal before making any plans.
     
  14. deedee

    deedee Connoisseur

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    Apr 20, 2008

    why not have the wedding that weekend in October and have your honeymoon over thanksgiving break or christmas break.

    oh and you might want to check by you but around here october is a very popular time for weddings and the prices are just as high as june/ july summer weddings.
     
  15. GlendaLL

    GlendaLL Aficionado

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    Apr 20, 2008

    My husband and I got married on a Saturday in January (1985). This was a second marriage for both of us, so it was a simple, small wedding. I did everything myself.

    I was teaching at a Lutheran school and my husband was in the Air Force - in Panama City, Florida. My students had music at the end of the day on Friday, so I got to leave early. We were married on Saturday afternoon. My husband and I went to a nice hotel that night. I moved my stuff into his apartment on Sunday. We both went back to work on Monday.

    Later, we went on a honeymoon to Disney World.

    Oh, I changed my name right away. My first graders thought it was funny to call me by a new name.
     
  16. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Apr 20, 2008

    I was going to say the same thing Deedee. End of September beg. of Oct is a very popular time to have a wedding because of the foliage.
     
  17. teacherpippi

    teacherpippi Habitué

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    Apr 20, 2008

    Do you have to take your honeymoon right away?

    My husband and I were married over Thanksgiving in '06. We had a fall-themed wedding. Because of Thanksgiving, the church was decorated for fall. Family and friends could spend Thanksgiving with their family and many had that Friday off to travel. We will always have a weekend "off" around our anniversary.

    We delayed our honeymoon until this summer- we'll be going to Ireland:D.

    There's no rule to say you have to take your honeymoon right away. What about waiting until winter break or next summer?

    BTW, Congratulations!
     
  18. GoehringTeaches

    GoehringTeaches Comrade

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    Apr 21, 2008

    We always have a week off for Thanksgiving so we flew to Jamaica for our WeddingMoon! Then over Christmas break we had a reception with family and friends. The school wouldn't let me change my name. They said it would be too hard on the kids, but I thought it would be too hard on them to change all of the papers around school.
     
  19. Lives4Math

    Lives4Math Comrade

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    Apr 21, 2008

    One of my coworkers just got married. They had the date set before she got her job, so there wasn't much choice. She got married on a Saturday and took off 3.5 days. She had to take some days without pay because she didn't have the days to take but she didn't have any problems.
     
  20. Rabbitt

    Rabbitt Connoisseur

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    Apr 21, 2008

    I was married in January with no regrets.

    Name change was sort of fun for the me and the kids.

    I had X-mas break to iron out the last minutes.

    We honeymooned the last week in February. I do recommend some time in between the wedding and honeymoon. That 5 weeks allowed me to focus on packing, buying, thank you notes, sub lessons, etc. I thoroghly enjoyed that part as well. As for time, I took 4 days unpaid Monday-Thursday as we had Friday and the following Monday off.

    Plan away...it will all fall together well no matter when.
     
  21. Rabbitt

    Rabbitt Connoisseur

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    Apr 21, 2008

    Wouldn't LET you change your name!!! :eek:
    That is who you are.
    I am uneasy with that decision.
    My first graders at the time found the change enjoyable.
    A lesson it itself.
    I am sorry that happened to you.
     

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