Possessive Preschooler- HELP

Discussion in 'Preschool' started by savannah1991, Aug 11, 2016.

  1. savannah1991

    savannah1991 Rookie

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    Aug 11, 2016

    Hello everyone. Does anyone have any tips on how to handle a 4.5 yo child who is possessive over a certain friend? One of the girls in my class- we'll call her K- does not handle her "bestie"- we'll call her B- playing with other friends well at all. Another girl, M, has joined their little group and while sometimes they all 3 can play together and get along, it's not always hunky dory. Anytime M & B are playing together without K, she has a meltdown (and by meltdown I mean screaming at me and others, crying, etc.) and says she's feeling left out. I understand why she feels that way, but I truly don't believe that M&B have ever "tried" to leave K out. I do feel that sometimes B wants a break from K because she can be a little controlling in their play and intense. K has no interest in making other friends. Anytime a friend other than M or B ask to play with her, she says no and that only B&M are her friends. I'm at a loss as to what I should do. Please help. I'm desperate!
     
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  3. ChildWhisperer

    ChildWhisperer Devotee

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    Aug 11, 2016

    I'd read a book about being friends and do a lesson on it.
    I'd also go some kind of group activity where you pick the partners or small groups (K, B, & M separated) so she can see that other kids are fun too
     
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  4. Gimet

    Gimet Rookie

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    Aug 12, 2016

    Try some (structured) cooperative learning activities where children need to work together to solve a problem or create something (art project?). "Structured" meaning you choose the groupings or you could do random groupings. . Make circles, cut in half, place in paper bag and have students choose a half, then find their match to create a circle and that is their partner for an activity. You can also use hula hoops and put one toy/activity in each hula hoop then assign two students to each activity. Set a timer if necessary and then move to a different activity. Hope this helps!
     
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  5. Obadiah

    Obadiah Groupie

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    Aug 12, 2016

    I wonder if K is exploring in her social learning by trial and error, the same as the other students, except her "errors" stand out because of their disruptive nature. At this age, I might view this as a good thing; this is her opportune time to grow in her social skills. As mentioned above, I would look for ways to teach better tactics for playing with friends. Reading and discussing books about friendship would be my first choice because you are combining other brain areas with the learning. I might also do some role playing--perhaps in the manner of a teacher led guided practice; perhaps set up a playtime but walk the students through it. I agree with your procedures of listening to K express her feelings and ideas; that will promote further brain growth in the social areas of thinking.
     
  6. savannah1991

    savannah1991 Rookie

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    Aug 12, 2016

    Thank you everyone for the suggestions. I've been reading books about friendship a lot this week. I just went to the library and found a bunch more books about the topic so hopefully they will enjoy them. I will definitely be trying some of your tips next week with the structured activities and picking random groups. Hopefully it's a success!
     
  7. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    Aug 12, 2016

    It sounds like the kid needs direct instruction and modeling in social skills... otherwise, she'll end up like this...

    [​IMG]
     
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  8. savannah1991

    savannah1991 Rookie

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    Aug 12, 2016

    Haha she is exactly like that!
     
  9. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

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    Aug 12, 2016

    I had a kid like that in my class, SO ANNOYING, she was so friggin needy! She was ALWAYS around me or getting in everyone's business. She LOVED the drama and nothing else. Her grades reflected that. Not surprising, her family's no treat. The mom, especially...ugh! She grew a lot this year though because I was a hard ass on her. I was the only true adult who disciplined her and gave her consequences in her life so she resisted me all the way -- at first -- but then I think she really understood that I was trying to make her a more happy, productive student. None of the other kids liked her because she was so obnoxious to them and so I tried to really make her understand the importance of respect. You'd tell her to go right, she'd go left. You'd tell her to stop talking and she took it as a personal challenge to talk more... FFS!

    Good luck!
     
  10. vickilyn

    vickilyn Virtuoso

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    Aug 12, 2016

    Time for some social stories!
     

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