Parenting (or lack thereof)

Discussion in 'General Education' started by YoungTeacherGuy, Oct 3, 2017.

  1. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Aficionado

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    Oct 3, 2017

    At the beginning of every school year, we get a handful of parents who want us (admin) to do their job.

    Case in point: there are 3 different kindergarten students who don't want to get out of their cars in the morning because they don't want to come to school. Instead of parking their car and making their child get out, they roll down their window and ask us to get the kid out of the car. Then, they get upset when we let them know that they need to park and remove the child themselves.

    Due to an incident that happened at another site here in my district back in August, administrators and teachers have been instructed to institute a hands-off approach when dealing with students who don't want to come to school (normally, in August/September, we have several lower grade students who kick/scream/throw tantrums).

    Thoughts on any of this?
     
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  3. vickilyn

    vickilyn Virtuoso

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    Oct 3, 2017

    Just me, but I would motion for the parent to park. If the parent didn't park or bring the student in, I would mark that child absent. However, I would almost certainly either post the practice on the school website and/or send home letters that this is the school policy, effective immediately.

    I'm a parent who managed to raise my own child, so I am always amazed when others don't follow suit.
     
  4. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Oct 3, 2017

    Let them get upset. It is unquestionably their job to remove their own children from their own personal vehicles.
     
  5. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    There must be some kind of liability when it comes to entering a parent's car and physically removing a child from it. If the liability isn't on the teachers, then it is probably on the parents (what if the car slips into drive and the teacher is pulled with the student).
     
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  6. Backroads

    Backroads Enthusiast

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    I have a few very smart and cute responses rolling around in my head, but...

    I agree, make clear the procedure in enough spaces there is no excuse to not have seen it. Motion them through. And create the broken record "I'm sorry, we have a hands-off policy".
     
  7. Always__Learning

    Always__Learning Companion

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    First, YTG, totally understand the frustration and the vent.

    In terms of what could be a next step to make your life easier, I wonder if some outreach with parents related to anxiety would help? Lynn Lyons has some great stuff. I don't think parents typically ask for someone else to take their kid out of their car because they don't want to parent but because they are at a loss of how to build their child's skills.
     
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  8. Janedo5513

    Janedo5513 Rookie

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    Oct 3, 2017

    It get's worse as the child moves up in grade level and the parent expects more out of the teacher when it's the role of the parent to be the parent.
     
  9. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Aficionado

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    Some people should not bother having kids at all. This is them.
     
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  10. 3Sons

    3Sons Connoisseur

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    Agreed. Actually, I can imagine situations where the teacher could be injured and the parents still end up sitting the school.
     
  11. mrsf70

    mrsf70 Rookie

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    Oct 5, 2017

    It is, without a doubt, the parents' responsibility to get their child out of the car. I wish I could say I'm shocked at having to say that, but I'm not. I spend too much time making phone calls to parents who need to "parent" their child.
     
  12. showmelady

    showmelady Companion

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    Oct 8, 2017

    I think telling the parents to park and get their own kid out of their own car is the right response. It's bad enough to have to deal with the total lack of discipline some kids exhibit in the classroom, so it should NOT be something the teachers have to deal with before the kids even get into the building!

    And, when the kid is out of the car and inside the building, the parent should LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. Some schools I have worked in used to allow the parents to come inside and be with their child during morning meeting, prior to going to their class rooms. That just meant the child would pitch their fit in the gym or wherever the kids wait in the morning. That is NOT good because it sets off other kids who just want to get some attention.

    However, I guess we should just be thankful that some parents even take the time to get their kids to school! I have seen several students who are late EVERY SINGLE DAY, because their mother (or caregiver) does not even get out of bed to bring them to school on time.
     
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  13. Backroads

    Backroads Enthusiast

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    Oct 8, 2017

    My first year of teaching... Title 1, but still a suburban school in a quiet neighborhood. Boy lived down the street. On the block. No streets to cross. His regular time to school was 3 hours late.

    My thought was, walk to school. Now, he was a first grader and not everyone believes it's right for kids to walk themselves to school, but three hours late? With both grandparents and mom at home?
     
  14. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Connoisseur

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    Do they want you to go to their house make them breakfast and coffee too? Why not just wake up the kids and bring them yourself to school? Wait until that's expected... the teachers will have to drive a van to the students' houses and pick them up.
    I think some parents (yes -- parents) are really entitled and expect teachers to roll out the red carpet for them. This is what happens when we're supposed to bend over backwards for them... they start to take advantage. And if you work in a certain type of school w/ an ass- kissing administration, it's much worse.
    I love working w/ parents, but yes there is a line!
     
  15. CherryOak

    CherryOak Companion

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    Oct 8, 2017

    Any chance the students went to the same preschool? I know one here that has staff help get each kid out during drop off. It's done for safety and in the mindset it is easier to convince them to come than to go. If there's one nearby like that, the parents need retraining to what is normal.

    That said.... good luck!
     
  16. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Aficionado

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    Oct 9, 2017

    Don't forget providing clothing and treats (I had a parent tell me I should give his son cookies if he didn't want to eat his lunch)! I'm sure there are other things we are SUPPOSED to be doing! :rolleyes:
     
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  17. vickilyn

    vickilyn Virtuoso

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    Oct 9, 2017

    Of course, as the "caregivers" paid by the district, we are obligated to follow school rules, so if the school wimps out and tells us to get them out or give them cookies because a child dislikes the lunch, we can talk to management instead of the parents. I do love that about my job.
     
  18. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Connoisseur

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    Well even if we provide treats a lot of kids don't like them anyway and say ''What else do you have?'' or "Do you have any better __(insert treat or prize)? "

    It's great.
     

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