Para: Uncomfortable Situation

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Ms.Holyoke, Mar 1, 2018.

  1. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Groupie

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    Mar 1, 2018

    I posted this in another thread but I would love to hear some perspectives on this situation:

    My school has hired an new para and there are some other issues with this para that are making me uncomfortable. He started a week and a half ago and he is already VERY friendly with the kids and is getting too close to some of them. The kids refer to him by his first name and "bro." On his second day at work, he was eating lunch with two girls in the hallway (where they are not supposed to be!!!). These girls of course have a crush on him and they kept asking about him/looking for him in the hallway today during lunch. Apparently he sits with them during lunch regularly in the hallway. It is the same with so many of the girls. He also promised to buy two boys expensive sneakers if they made a certain shot in basketball. His dress is also very unprofessional (ripped jeans and a hat) which my mentor does not agree with. He also talks to kids while I am teaching a lesson and it is getting frustrating. I brought these concerns to my mentor and she agrees with me but doesn't know what to do. Can someone give me any perspective on this--especially the part about getting too close with students? It is his first week so he may not understand boundaries yet. I don't know if I am overreacting or if I should be concerned.
     
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  3. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    Who’s his direct supervisor? This is leading to nothing good!
     
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  4. Zelda~*

    Zelda~* Devotee

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    You are not overreacting. So many lines are being crossed....
     
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  5. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Groupie

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    My mentor said she is not his direct supervisor but I think she plans to speak with them. Right now, I am most concerned with him getting too close to the girls because they all have obvious crushes on him. It's definitely normal for girls to have a crush on their male teacher, but I feel like he needs to recognize that and take a step back.
     
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  6. Teacher234

    Teacher234 Comrade

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    The new paraprofessional........should be called "Para" and that is it. There is an expected amount of appropriate professionalism in a school when you are a teaching and the new "para" seems to have not received the memo.
    Additional training is needed, even suspension. This could lead to bigger problems such as police intervention due to his unusual interaction with the students.
    @Ms.Holyoke You are not overreacting at all. The "para" is too casual for the position. He is in a teaching position........he is the student's guide, the student's teacher, the student's tutor.......not the student's BFF.
     
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  7. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Groupie

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    Yes I agree that he is acting very friendly with the kids. It is concerning to see, especially with the girls. He really has god intentions but seems completely oblivious. I doubt the police would get involved because it is not that extreme, but just unusual. I'm glad my mentor is on the same page as me.
     
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  8. CherryOak

    CherryOak Companion

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    Trust your gut that there's a potential concern. I'd talk to his direct supervisor. As for interrupting your lesson, don't hesitate to politely redirect him. Just walk up to him and whisper how you need his help ensuring the students can focus on your instruction and ask him to not speak to them at this time.
     
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  9. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Groupie

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    What a knucklehead. Some people just need to be smacked. upside the head. Has he picked up a newspaper lately?

    One suggestion---maybe you can tell him you've heard some other people talking about it, and let him know you're "just looking out for him", even if you're really looking out for the students.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2018
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  10. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    Someone, preferably his direct supervisor needs to have a conversation with him about school expectations, i.e. where students are to eat lunch, attire, and buying of items. You can and should have a conversation about what your expectations are for him when he is in your room. Let him know what he should be doing while you are teaching. Good luck.
     
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  11. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

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    You know, now that I think about this situation--maybe no one sat down and discussed expectations with him. In my district, VPs are directly responsible for instructional aides (training and evaluating). However, when they're in the classroom, their day-to-day duties and responsibilities are delegated by the classroom teacher.

    Regardless of who his supervisor is, this situation needs to be addressed NOW!
     
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  12. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    You're a student teacher, right? Your mentor teacher should be handling this one.

    In my district there is no reason for any school employee, from the principal to the bus driver, to be unaware of the line between appropriate and inappropriate behaviors. We are trained on this each year. We're going to receive even more training next year because we have had a couple of high-profile incidents where staff members behaved inappropriately with students. In our district it is heavily stressed that we are to report any inappropriate behavior we witness, hear about, or suspect. If something even feels off, we are to report it. Like being a mandated reporter when it comes to child abuse and neglect, it's our responsibility to report, not to investigate.

    Hopefully your mentor teacher has already addressed this with an administrator.
     
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  13. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Groupie

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    I am, yes so I think my mentor teacher is going to handle it but she isn't sure about the best way to do it. I think she is planning on speaking with the principal soon.
     
  14. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Well, hopefully as a veteran teacher seasoned enough to host a student teacher, she can figure this one out fairly quickly. Surely she's been trained on this stuff as well.
     
  15. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Groupie

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    Yes I had never planned on addressing it. I just shared my concerns with my mentor and I wanted to get other perspectives from other teachers since I hadn't seen a situation like this.

    One thing that I am struggling with is that the kids like him so much. He doesn't discipline kids (and maybe I shouldn't expect him to?) but it's really stressful to be the only one to discipline kids, especially when he is right next to the misbehaving kids. I honestly feel like it's going to make the kids dislike me. I know that having the kids like me isn't that important, but I also want to form stronger relationships with them! I know that I shouldn't feel this way but I feel kind of jealous that they like him so much more than me!
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2018
  16. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Groupie

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    I'm teaching a lesson tomorrow and I'm thinking of just talking to him (or having my mentor talk to him) and saying "One thing that I am really working on is classroom management, especially during whole class time. It is really helpful when you circulate and talk to kids when I give them a minute to try something or talk. But then to keep the pace of the lesson, it is also helpful if you help bring the kids' attention back to me when I ask for their attention." My mentor agrees that it's frustrating and said I can talk to him if I want to.

    Otherwise, I can see if it continues tomorrow and I could talk to him later or ask my mentor to talk to him later.
     
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  17. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Groupie

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    May 16, 2018

    So today I found out that the paraprofessional plays Fortnite with the kids online. They have a group chat and he was saying how the kids are always swearing, etc. I'm not sure if I should tell my mentor.
     
  18. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Yes. Interacting with students online has the potential to get him into a whole lot of trouble; it needs to stop now.
     
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  19. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    [​IMG]
    Yeah, it's a bad idea for him to be doing that. Tell your mentor.
     
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  20. Ms.Holyoke

    Ms.Holyoke Groupie

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    Thanks! I am going to let my mentor know today. I don't want to come off as tattling but it does seem inappropriate.
     
  21. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    As we tell our little ones--tattling is to get someone into trouble, reporting is to prevent trouble. This is the sort of thing that could, with one little misstep, end his career before it starts and it's important that he recognize that.
     

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