Need help with an e-mail.../Sticky Situation

Discussion in 'General Education' started by RussianBlueMommy, Nov 2, 2017.

  1. vickilyn

    vickilyn Maven

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    Nov 2, 2017

    Writing the email was cathartic, but deleting the email instead of sending it shows maturity and good judgement. The email sounds immature, and I am certain that is not your intent. You are working full time subbing - how much of an impact do you really think this person is having on your success? Be the bigger person, or the adult, and act accordingly. The email could make you seem weak and petty, and I am sure that is not your intent. Write as many emails or letters as necessary for you to feel vindicated - never send a single one of them. You will be grateful in the end. Best of luck.
     
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2017
  2. Secondary Teach

    Secondary Teach Companion

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    Nov 2, 2017

    First, I want to commend you for not removing the note left behind- because that's I would've done. However, I think you acted accordingly by deleting your drafted e-mail, if he told the other faculty about you not showing up for substitute jobs you signed up for, even though you had an excuse- then it's pretty obvious he would also share or CC the email you would've sent to him with the other faculty and that would affect your ability to get jobs. Members in this thread seem to be commenting as if you are a substitute still, but I believe you mentioned in a reply to someone on the previous page that you are not a sub anymore, but a full time faculty member. You may want to clear that up. Best.
    :)
     
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2017
  3. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Companion

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    Nov 3, 2017

    I am a building sub. That means I am often filling in for various teachers throughout the day and I work 5 days a week. No teaching cert (yet), just Bachelor and Almost Master's. I didnt send the e-mail, in fact I deleted it.
     
  4. Joyful!

    Joyful! Cohort

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    Nov 3, 2017

    Sorry you had to see that unflattering note.
    If he is as cantankerous as you state, don't you think people consider his opinion as biased?
    Nonetheless, your email is way over the top. If I read it as an admin, I would definitely consider you to be petty. Don't send it. Don't revise and send it. Don't send it.
    You mention you are a staff member. As such, you need to remember that your colleague may have been having a very bad day himself, either then or both then and now. If it were me, I would bring in a cup of coffee or a Dunkin'/Starbucks card, and just tell him you noticed he looked like he could use a pick me up and to have a nice day. Period. Bite your tongue for all other words than have a great day, and it was my pleasure.
    I have found a lot of times in life when I work to consider someone else's point of view, I find that I need to encourage or bless them in some way. It enables me to be free of resentment and anger, and it allows me to move forward positively. I recommend that to you.
     
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  5. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Companion

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    Nov 3, 2017

    If you see my post up above, I didn't send the e-mail. I deleted it
     
  6. Mshope2012

    Mshope2012 Companion

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    Nov 3, 2017

    When I was a sub, I had a teacher confront me in person that I hadn't followed her lesson plans. I defended myself and said that what she was saying was not true and I had tried to follow her plans to the letter, but the video she left had no sound. She acted skeptical and said the video was fine. (Basically calling me a liar.) Later that day a student caught me and apologized saying that the students in the class had lied about me and said that I "let them" talk and they did no work. In reality, I was trying to get the sound working and even called another teacher to help, who also couldn't get it working. I tried to discuss the topic of the video the best that I could and left what happened in my note. The student didn't want the other students mad at her and begged me not to say anything. I didn't. I did tell another teacher I was close to about this and she told me not to worry about it.

    It is years later and I did get hired full-time at that school. I was tempted to bring this up to that teacher once, but I let it go. However, I would be lying if I said that it didn't bother me. She is the type of teacher who favors one class and treats them like her special snowflakes who can do no wrong and blasts her other classes! Of course, this empowered her snowflakes to lie about me. She completely believed these students over me. (Why would I lie? I was a sub with a very good rep.)

    I say to maybe talk to the principal or someone. He should be able to go around and disparage your work. You got sick! Is that a crime? Then again, I'm sure they all know this character.
     
  7. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Nov 3, 2017

    In the end, the classroom teacher was unprofessional. You were the epitome of grace under fire.

    APPLAUSE!
     
  8. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Nov 3, 2017

    I think you could and should write a note or send an email to the teacher you subbed for to whom the original note was addressed.

    You could say "When I came back to your classroom 7th period, I happened to notice the note _____ left about me. I'm sorry to hear ______ thinks that I am unreliable. I just wanted to clarify with you that he may have gotten that idea when I was forced to cancel on him because I came down with a serious case of pneumonia for three weeks two years ago. It was unavoidable, and it's a shame that he views me in this way, but I understand why he might be angry. I just wanted to clear that up."

    This would help you clear things up with this teacher and deflect the negative image that the other teacher is trying to spread, and it's possible that this teacher would even mention what really happened to the negative teacher or other teachers who he has been trying to influence if it's ever brought up again.
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2017
  9. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Companion

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    Nov 3, 2017

    Not a bad idea
     
  10. AmyMyNamey

    AmyMyNamey Comrade

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    Nov 4, 2017

    I'm sure this has already been resolved to a degree.

    As a sub, it's not a good idea to write letters to HR, not unless something truly grievous happened.

    It's not a good idea to write notes calling someone out, as you cannot predict how they will be received. You think you are writing X, but the other person reads it as Y, and then you have all manner of hurt feelings.

    So don't write notes to address problems of this sort. Address them in person, when you have more control over the way your message is received.

    Myself, I would mention the problem to this teacher at some point. "I'm sure you were upset when I canceled. But I got so sick the night before and could not stop throwing up, let alone come in and teach. I was stuck in bed most of that week. I'm sorry, and I hope I might get the chance to sub for you some other time." Then it is off your conscience on this teacher is able to reevaluate his feelings. But keep it simple and free of expressions of hurt or anger.

    Some things you just don't commit to paper or email.
     
  11. Joyful!

    Joyful! Cohort

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    Nov 4, 2017

    I did see it. Thanks. I was merely giving you my advice for these types of dealings. I hope you will consider reaching out to your colleague with kindness and with forgiveness and that it all works out for you.
     
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  12. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Companion

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    Nov 7, 2017

    Things are fine. The classroom teacher herself sent me a message and said she knew Mr so and so was like that and she was personally happy with the job I did, so she would ask me again.
     
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  13. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    Nov 7, 2017

    Thanks for the update, and REALLY GLAD it was a good one.
     
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  14. Joyful!

    Joyful! Cohort

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    Nov 7, 2017

    Me too! Yay!
    I'm glad things went your way.
     
  15. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Companion

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    Nov 9, 2017

    I am actually working with him as an inclusion teacher next week, so we will see if things get interesting. LOL
     
  16. Pi-R-Squared

    Pi-R-Squared Devotee

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    Nov 10, 2017

    Two years ago, I took 2 personal days to go visit family 1,000 miles away. I couldn't get a sub to cover both days so Sub A covered Thursday and Sub B on Friday. No problem with Sub B. But, Thursday morning, I get a call from the office saying Sub A wasn't there and 1st period was about to start. I said I really can't show up and asked her to find someone else. About 5 minutes later, Sub A arrives just in the nick of time. I get back on Monday and find out that Sub A acted like everything was normal and didn't think what she did was wrong. Subs were told to arrive for homeroom but she didn't. So, Sub A landed on my "not dependable" list who would be called last if no one else could cover. I told other teachers what had happened and they wondered why Sub A felt it normal coming in late. The moral of the story is that teachers do tell when something adverse happens. Now, I wouldn't blacklist when someone got sick but I'd let others know that my Sub called out last minute and it wasn't a good thing.
     
  17. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Companion

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    Nov 10, 2017

    Luckily our office would never bother a teacher who called out with such nonsense. They'd either have another sub cover, or they'd have other teachers cover during their prep if it was dire (of course paying them for covering the period). We do frequently have subs come a few minutes late. No one ever seems to notice or care....
     
  18. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Companion

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    Nov 10, 2017

    You would continue two years later?
     
  19. Pi-R-Squared

    Pi-R-Squared Devotee

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    Nov 10, 2017

    I never heard of being paid to cover someone else's class during my prep!
     
  20. RussianBlueMommy

    RussianBlueMommy Companion

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    Nov 10, 2017

    Our school considers i
    Considers it extra duty and pays $30 a period
     

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