Missing past students: ( How do u deal?

Discussion in 'General Education Archives' started by MissE, Sep 1, 2006.

  1. MissE

    MissE Rookie

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    Sep 1, 2006

    So Last year I had a student who really touched me. I worked as an co-teacher and this boy has autism so I spent a lot of one on one time with him. A lot of the other teachers in the school thought he was a pain and annoying...but I absolutely loved him to death. He could always make me laugh!
    So when the students returned to school Wed. I was so excited to see him. He was on the roster for fifth grade so I was expecting him to be there. I did hear rumours that he wasn't coming back to our school because he moved. Sure enough Wednesday arrived...but my student didn't. He moved to a nice rural area about 30 minutes away from here.
    I looked forward to seeing him all summer. Now I'm so sad. I never thought about this kind of stuff when I was in school studying to be a teacher. You really do bond with your students in a way that no one else can ever imagine. It's tough at the end of the school year...but it is even tougher when you come back....your old kids are all grown up....and they aren't your students anymore...they are someone elses.
    I guess my question is...How do u deal with the fact that when your students leave in the summer or half way through the year or whatever....it is extremely possible that you will never ever see them again. I am upset over the fact that I will probably never see my favorite student again. I mean I'm not crying myself to sleep over it or anything...but it's just so disappointing. Does it get easier over the years passing your class over to the next teacher??? Or losing students to other schools? Maybe its because I am a new teacher....but this has really been an issue for me this week. I'm really gonna miss him a lot. Any advice or suggestions?
     
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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Sep 1, 2006

    So nice to hear that this special child touched your heart. We all have a choice to let children change our lives (and to try to make a difference in theirs as well...)

    Why don't you send this kiddo a note and tell him you miss his face and that you wish him well. Hopefully he will continue to have people in his life who care so much. There are some other lucky kids in that school this year who will benefit from your kindness and compassion!!:love:
     
  4. RitaFirstGrade

    RitaFirstGrade Companion

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    Sep 1, 2006

    You sound alot like me. I get really attached to my students as well. Your students are lucky to have someone who truly cares. You were cursed with a good heart ;) , so your feelings of disappointment will probably continue. I know they will for me!
     
  5. Mrs_Goatess

    Mrs_Goatess Comrade

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    Sep 1, 2006

    I know I was upset last year when I had to say good-bye to a certain student. Being my first year, I couldn't help but cry at the bus loop as I waves kids good-bye, even if they were middle schoolers. When my favorite student caught me before she got on her bus, we couldn't even say a word, because we were both bawling! I miss her sometimes, but I'm not up at night either. I do wonder how one deals with this.
     
  6. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I've shed many tears saying good-bye to special students (and they have shed a few too). I've stayed in touch with some of them with notes and email.
     
  7. Ms.Jasztal

    Ms.Jasztal Maven

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    I am the same way, and I've cried so hard before over losing students. Last year, especially, and after my first class went on to fifth grade. I cried again when they went to middle school this year. Realizing they are growing up is gratifying, yet also sort of heart-wrenching because it feels like just yesterday when you were teaching them.
     
  8. chicagoturtle

    chicagoturtle Fanatic

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    Sep 1, 2006

    I can empathize with you. I used to work at an after school problem for kids who were homeless. Some kids we'd know before they left but most we didn't. Some kids were with us for 2 hours. Some kids were with us for 2 years. Some kids we'd see around the same time every year for the entire time I worked there-- it is hard! I always hope I'd run into a kid here or there but I haven't yet. Actually at this point considering it has been 2 years since I have been with the program and the fact that I was with it for 5 years serving about 200 different kids each year I'd be embarrased that I'd see a kid an not remember their name. Mobility is sometimes as hard on us as it is on the kids. Especially in special situations when you have had a "breakthrough" with a tough kid only to have them disapear on you. I have a student who I was worried about returning to us this year. Thankfuly she will be back (at least for now). Her mom came into the school today to fill out some paperwork and told someone in the office she has been trying to put her uniform on everyday and then gets her glasses on and waits at the door and cries whent the bus doesn't come--- (I teach Pre-K special ed)...
     
  9. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Sep 1, 2006

    How sweet!

    I had the hardest time my first year. When I came back and saw "my" class with that "other woman," I felt . . . well, jealous is too strong. You have to rise above it and encourage the kids because it is sometimes really hard for them to go to the new class. The bright side is . . . sometimes you are SO GLAD to wave good bye and pass on a difficult group! Haha!

    Yes, we really put a lot of love into these kids. I need to hear all this because we start on Sept. 5 and my classroom just isn't coming together! I was so grouchy today I told my sister-teacher "I hate kids, and I hate adults. I hate kids and all their little books too!!" Felt good to let off some steam, and I did feel like the Wicked Witch of the West! I don't know why I have ALL THIS STUFF when I spent 2 weeks cleaning out last June!
     
  10. jcg

    jcg Cohort

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    Sep 1, 2006

    I use to cry every year, but then I thought you know I did a good job, they are moving on and that is what they are supposed to do. Just like a parent, you give them all you can and although it is hard, you give them wings and pray and hope they soar into their own life.
     
  11. teachkids

    teachkids Rookie

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    Jan 13, 2007

    I also had a special student who moved to the the next school. I kept in touch with his teachers to see how he was doing. His parents kept in touch with me and we all celebrated his graduation a few years later. I still run into him at community gatherings.
     
  12. Mamacita

    Mamacita Aficionado

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    Jan 14, 2007

    The students I had in middle school are now in high school and above, and I love it when they come by the house to visit. I have about a dozen who visit me six or seven times a year, and the 'batch' that are now sophomores in high school come all the time.
     
  13. Thorgs

    Thorgs Rookie

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    Jan 14, 2007

    After reading this post I now fear the end of this school year. I am a para and I have been with some of these kids since 3rd grade (they are now in 6th grade). There is a slight chance I might move up with them to the junior high school but that has yet to be determined. I have a very unique job. I moved to this town and attended the elementary school in when I was in 5th and 6th grade. Then I used to work at the YMCA before and after school program at the same school so a big chunk of the kids in the school called me by my first name as well as some past teachers. Now working in the school system...you guessed it, at the same school, the kids still call me by my first name and a lot of them come to me when they have a problem. Even the regular ed kids who are in other classes! The kids would look at me, a 24 year old guy, and wonder what is wrong with me if I shed a tear. I guess I'll have to call out sick that day :p

    This actually has been on my mind a lot recently and I am wondering how I am going to deal with it since I've been with a lot of these kids for 4 years. :(
     
  14. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Jan 14, 2007

    It's part of life, and certainly part of teaching. People pass through our lives, touch us, and move on.

    My husband spent part of last week at a funeral for one of his students, hit by a car on New Years Eve. I've been to far too many student funerals along the way; teach long enough and it's inevitable. I've lost kids to car accidents, CF, plane accidents, you name it.

    So you try to love the kids you're teaching, think fondly of those you used to teach, and make every moment count. Sure, you miss them when they're gone. But it's an inherent part of the job.
     
  15. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Jan 14, 2007

    I'm a 1st year teacher, so I have yet to experience missing students who have moved on to other schools. Don't get me wrong, I like kids & I'm a kind, gentle person, but when kids move on, for the most part, I probably won't miss them to the point where I'm regularly thinking about them.

    If a former student ever contacts me, it'll be nice to say hi & ask what they're doing now, but that's about it.

    That's how life goes. Everyone moves on eventually.
     
  16. daisyduck123

    daisyduck123 Companion

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    Jan 14, 2007


    Yes, its because you're a new teacher.
    It will get better in a year or two.

    I've been teaching 16 years. Although I may be a tiny bit sad (well, actually I'm usually jumping for joy) on the last day, I NEVER miss them. There's always a new group to take their places.

    When you have your own kids, you'll NEVER miss your students.
    Heck, over Christmas vacation I forgot many of their last names...when we got back to school, I had to check the nametag on one boy's desk!!!
     

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