Is there a good way to tell a parent their kid cheated?

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Geologygirl, Sep 7, 2018.

  1. Geologygirl

    Geologygirl Comrade

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    I've tried being nice And going with a " teens will be teens" approach, a direct and only state the facts approtch, a" I am very concerned about your kid" approach, a " Your kid made some poor choices" approach. Almost every time I have to tell a parent I caught their kid cheating they 1. Call me a liar, tell me their kid would never do that, or go to admin to complain and try to get me fired.
    So, is there a good way to tell a parent a kids cheating? Honestly I am getting sick and tired of all the stress this causes in my life. Are there schools out there where parents are more supportive of kids having consequences or do they all fight tooth and nail to not have cheating on their kids record?
     
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  3. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Devotee

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    Do you have hard evidence that the student cheated? (I.e. they have the right answers for the wrong version or something?) If you have undeniable evidence, it will be harder for them to fight.

    Also I always talk to the kid about it before I contact the parents as well. If I can get the kid to admit to it, it makes it much easier when informing the parents. When kids are faced with the facts, and you let them know that you will be more flexible with them if they are honest, they can often be pretty open.
     
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  4. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    We have to report all cheating to our admin so that it can go on the student's record. If you don't have to do that, it may be good to give them a heads up. I always tell them exactly what happened, what the student said when I confronted them, and I show them any evidence I may have. If it's their first time, it just goes on their record and says "teacher handled" so we can set our own policies.
    I always talk to the students to see what they have to say about it too. Some are pretty clear cut like I have emails they sent with the answers to the quiz but others aren't quite that clear. I document what they say.
    I then just stick to the facts with their parents. A lot of the time they don't really have any response. Sometimes though I get the "my precious angel would never cheat!" Response. If I get that, I just reiterate the facts and describe the proof (I won't show other students' work to parents if it's an instance of copying). If they keep insisting, I offer to set up a conference that involves our guidance counselor. I've only ever had one take me up on it and after being confronted with the evidence in person, they realized their kid really did cheat and channeled their frustration into that.

    It's never fun to tell anyone that their child cheated, but I definitely wouldn't provide any "extra" commentary about it like kids will be kids or anything like that. Going down that path may make it seem like it's not a big deal so they may not understand why you're punishing their child.
     
  5. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    I get the exact response. I have also been met with "we're rich, we don't have to cheat." "She's a smart student, she only cheats on the unimportant stuff." "Well, everyone cheats in your classroom. Why are you picking on my kid?"

    I follow my classroom consequences, the school consequences and shut the door on it. If the student comes in with Mom, guns blazing, and I see zero remorse, I will make sure all coaches and honor societies are notified too.
     
  6. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    Our school is pretty clear that any violation of testing procedure will result in a zero, and what's called a "short form." Parents are usually pretty okay with it.

    When I have students who all turn in identical assignments on short answer opinion questions, I take the score the assignment earned, and divide it by the number of identical papers. That way I'm giving them credit for their portion of their work.
     
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  7. Geologygirl

    Geologygirl Comrade

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    Most kids here lie even with evidence. Unfortunately even with the evidence if the parent pushes hard enough denying the kid did it often the admin will bend to them depending on the admin.
     
  8. Geologygirl

    Geologygirl Comrade

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    Yes I have evidence. Even with it and catching the kids with said evidence in hand both lied about it. In the past I have heard a kid admit to his mom he cheated on the test and then later I have been accused by the parent of lieing about her kid cheating. It is honestly crazy.

     
  9. Geologygirl

    Geologygirl Comrade

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    The extra commentary was a mistake I made my first year of teaching. I have not used it since. Most parents want a conference with admin because they do not want cheating on their kids record. They get a 0 the first time they cheat and the 2nd time they can be suspended so this is also why they do not want it on their kids record.
     
  10. Geologygirl

    Geologygirl Comrade

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    It sounds like we teach in similar schools.I have heard most of those excuses before also.
     
  11. Joyful!

    Joyful! Habitué

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    In my experience, most parents respond to cheating very poorly.
    What works for me is this, "Hello, today during the test, precious violated our test environment which by our classroom/school policy is an automatic zero. I was certainly surprised to see that they utilized the paper of the student next to them because ordinarily precious is very honest and trustworthy. I'm hopeful this is a one time poor choice for your child. When I spoke with them they promised not to do it again and expressed remorse. I know we have the school consequence, but I wanted to reach out to you personally so you could speak with them about their uncharacteristic choice.
     
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  12. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Enthusiast

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    I like your response. I like your response a lot.

    <high fives>
     
  13. Geologygirl

    Geologygirl Comrade

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    Can I use this? It is a great response! QUOTE="Joyful!, post: 2079386, member: 50591"]In my experience, most parents respond to cheating very poorly.
    What works for me is this, "Hello, today during the test, precious violated our test environment which by our classroom/school policy is an automatic zero. I was certainly surprised to see that they utilized the paper of the student next to them because ordinarily precious is very honest and trustworthy. I'm hopeful this is a one time poor choice for your child. When I spoke with them they promised not to do it again and expressed remorse. I know we have the school consequence, but I wanted to reach out to you personally so you could speak with them about their uncharacteristic choice.[/QUOTE]
     
  14. Joyful!

    Joyful! Habitué

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    I give it to you freely. :)
     
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  15. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Aficionado

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    Precious needs to get with the program!!!
     
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