I'm so upset I can't stop crying

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by elizak83, Aug 5, 2008.

  1. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    2,518
    Likes Received:
    9

    Sep 6, 2008

    Yes elizak- either get a new number or have his rejected. He is still trying to manipulate you. You are showing him you can live quite fine without him and it seems to be bugging him! He is with a girl who has bad character, from what you have said. If you were my daughter, I would sure want you to cut it off totally, no phone conversations period.

    My sister had a similar situation!! It was many years ago, but so much like yours it is really weird. The guy showed up at her apartment with the new girlfriend one day, they all got into a big fight and the rough girlfriend attacked my sister with brass knuckles!!! sent her to the hospital!

    Get away completely. He is hanging with bad news and you deserve to have peace.

    I am so thrilled you are starting to get angry!!!!!! That is a big key to staying strong and cutting it completely and moooooving on. Life is out there and truly, thank God every day you got out of this while there was still time! What a complete and total jerk! Friends with his new girlfriend?? Hasn't he ever heard "there is no wrath like that of a woman scorned?" They are both lucky YOU didn't go after THEM with the brass knuckles.

    Change that ph. # girl.
     
  2. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    2,518
    Likes Received:
    9

    Sep 6, 2008

    elizak - you need to get this song on your ipod and make it your mantra - it just played on mine and I thought of you and that jerk! You are so lucky he is gone!

    CRY ME A RIVER
    Now you say you’re lonely
    You cried the long night through
    Well, you can cry me a river
    Cry me a river
    I cried a river over you

    Now you say you’re sorry
    For being so untrue
    Well, you can cry me a river
    Cry me a river
    I cried a river over you

    You drove me, nearly drove me, out of my head
    While you never shed a tear?
    Remember, I remember, all that you said?
    You told me love was too plebian
    Told me you were through with me and

    Now you say you love me
    and just to prove you do
    Come on and cry me a river
    Cry me a river
    I cried a river over you
    I cried a river over you
    I cried a river...over you...
     
  3. Beth561

    Beth561 Comrade

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2007
    Messages:
    295
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 6, 2008

    OMG bonneb-I never realized what those words truly meant. It is so empowering-thanks for sharing it for eliza and all the rest of us who have thought enough is enough.
     
  4. MissWull

    MissWull Cohort

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    721
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 6, 2008

    That is a very big step for you...moving in with your relatives. I'm proud that you made such a move! :) Like everyone else said, change your number. Leave behind everything about your relationship with him...and you can't fully do that if he keeps calling you.
     
  5. Shanoo

    Shanoo Habitué

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2007
    Messages:
    761
    Likes Received:
    2

    Sep 6, 2008

    elizak

    Not long ago, I was in your exact position. 4 years ago my husband and I moved halfway across the country when he got transferred. I had no family and very few friends in my new location. Earlier this year he told me he was no longer happy and that he wanted out.

    Most people expected me to pack up and move home. It surprised them that I decided to stay. I did it for many reasons. One, I have a great job here that I wouldn't have if I moved back and two, I needed to prove to myself that I could be on my own and survive. I felt like I had relied firstly on my parents and then on my husband for so long. I needed to know that I could do it alone.

    I've never once regretted my decision. It's been a wonderful experience. It's been so great, I've even started thinking about buying a house.

    I'm not saying that you shouldn't move home, if that's what you truly want to do. Just know that whatever you choose, you'll be just fine :)
     
  6. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

    Joined:
    May 13, 2004
    Messages:
    5,801
    Likes Received:
    130

    Sep 6, 2008

    Shanoo, that's great that you were able to be independent.

    I wish more women were aware that things like this happen all the time, even to THEM (because they always think it will never happen to them) & they should be prepared to take care of themselves so when the guy does things like this out of the blue, they don't have to cry & beg for them to stay. They can kick their asses out & be just fine. That's how my mom has raised me. When things like this happen, it's not shocking to me because I know it happens all the time.
     
  7. Shanoo

    Shanoo Habitué

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2007
    Messages:
    761
    Likes Received:
    2

    Sep 6, 2008

    Thanks, Ms. I!

    I was raised to be independent as well, however as a child and into adulthood, my parents never denied me anything, either. I think it was a case of "never rely on a man for anything...but we'll give you anything you need" :p And then, of course, when I got married, I did rely on my H...especially after we moved and it took some time for me to find a job.

    I'm not saying I didn't have my bad days. Boy, did I ever. But, I think in the back of my mind a little voice was telling me that I would get through it.
     
  8. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,897
    Likes Received:
    27

    Sep 7, 2008

    It has taken me two days to read all the posts in this thread. I would like to send my love to eliza and anyone else who had to go thru anything like this. I promise you that you will get over this and if there is a next time, it won't be as devastating. I was married and though I knew we had problems, I did not think we were on the verge of divorce. To make a long story short, my husband of 11 years left a note on the refrigerator stating that he couldn't do this anymore. Of course initially I cried then with the support of family and friends I was able to move out of our mobile home that was on his family property within three weeks. Two days after moving in my own place, I found out that my husband was indeed having an affair. I immediately filed for divorce because my daddy always instilled in me that "only the strong survives." I knew that this time I had to be strong and make it for me and my four children. This time I had my education with a decent job. I had only been teaching for 8 months when my husband left me. I think that he had a plan to help me get my education so that he could leave. He thought if I had a well playing job, his child support would be less. I had two children for him and he has a well paying job. Though before we went to court I had to get family and friends to make up the slack because there was a month the he gave me $10.00 in child support for two children. Now I get $750.00 for my two children. Within 15 months of our final divorce, I had purchased a 2300 sq. ft house on my own. At the same time I was buying my house, he was trying to buy a house. He wasn't able to get financed and started the rumor that I had ruined his credit. If that was the case how was I able to buy a home? Now I am happily married to the love of my life after being separated for 17years and many changes that he has made in his life. Revenge is sweet and life will be better for you. Hang in there girl and you are going to make it. I remember when my husband first left, one of my aunts told me that though I couldn't see it that my ex had done me a favor. Now I see it clearly and one day you will see that Jason has done you a favor. I am glad that you decided to stay where you are. I did consider moving, but I am very glad that I did not make that move. The first time I went thru a breakup, I kept hanging on for a long time though he was with someone else. So I understand clearly that when you love someone it is hard to leave.
     
  9. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Messages:
    8,262
    Likes Received:
    1,399

    Sep 7, 2008

    Bravo to you, DHE!!! :thumb: I love all the positive testimonials in here.
     
  10. goldminegirl

    goldminegirl Rookie

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2008
    Messages:
    13
    Likes Received:
    0

    Sep 8, 2008

    Being a new member and going through the threads I can see which ones really bring people together to support others...thats awesome. 6 months ago I left a man I had been with for 10 years. it became a question of health...and after much talk with him and much thought with myself, i ended it. Hardest thing I have ever done. I have felt every feeling there is, except regret. I have not regretted that decision since I made it. ( I hate it when our heads are right but our hearts are broken). I love him still. I am alone and I know he is not. I have his child and he does not call or write or make any attempt to contact me. I deal with her questions, her tears, her anger, and her sorrow. And all along, I deal with my own questions, tears, anger and sorrow. I don't understand the why's and the "who did what's"...but I know I made the right decision. I have peace with that. I hope that someday things are different with my daughter and her dad...but I will not search him out. It would not be safe until I know he has decided to re-evaluate his lifestyle choices. I had to be the "grown-up" and it broke my heart. But we are ok. I am ok. and you will be ok too. We will all be okay. Hearts mend, time heals, and life goes on. Remember: a new solution comes up everyday...just look to the east! :)
     
  11. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,897
    Likes Received:
    27

    Sep 8, 2008

    goldmine, it does come a time that we have to make decisions that are best for our children. Please remember that children are resilent and your daughter will learn to cope with the changes. It is ok that we still love those we left, but we just have to learn to love ourselves more.
     
  12. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    2,518
    Likes Received:
    9

    Oct 13, 2008

    eliza - how are things going for you now??
     
  13. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2006
    Messages:
    2,305
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 13, 2008


    When I checked the threads; this one was staring me in the face, I kid you not! I had forgotten all about it; and I too am wondering...Eliza, how are things now??
     
  14. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2006
    Messages:
    2,305
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 13, 2008



    I believe this is the last post that Eliza wrote written earlier this month. She sounds great!!! :hugs:
    Eliza, let us know how you're doing now, dear. :love:
     
  15. elizak83

    elizak83 Companion

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2006
    Messages:
    207
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 13, 2008

    I'm here!! I've just been super busy at work...plus I was living w/ my aunt and uncle and it is harder for me to get on the internet there. Last weekend I moved into an apartment w/ a roommate. It's is going well so far. My ex is now trying to get me back....he told me he's seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist. He showed up last week and brought me an "I'm Sorry" gift. (A 600 dollar handbag.) I tried to give it back but he insisted I keep it. I'm still not talking to him or anything, but he says he's "working on things" and he made a huge mistake. I'm just doing what's best for me and concentrating on work. I'm sorry I haven't posted lately. Thank you to everyone who gave me advice!!!
     
  16. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2006
    Messages:
    2,305
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 13, 2008


    Yay!!! You precious girl! I'm so glad to hear from you and you sound great!! :love: You are a strong individual; I have a 20 yr. old daughter and I want to see her inner strength come out as yours has through this time. Glad to hear you're moving on. Take care & keep in touch when you can.
    BTW; what type of bag is it? hehe :D
     
  17. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

    Joined:
    May 13, 2004
    Messages:
    5,801
    Likes Received:
    130

    Oct 13, 2008

    Well, it sounds like you're doing well. So the SOB is finally feeling guilty! I'm not saying it's right to keep his gifts or not keep them, just don't buckle & go back to him because you're lonely or whatever. Anyways, keep going strong! Maybe you & your roommate should have a Halloween party to meet new people & have fun! :)
     
  18. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2005
    Messages:
    10,120
    Likes Received:
    0

    Oct 13, 2008

    Congrats on your apartment. Stay strong! Don't take phone calls and keep avoiding him. You don't want to slip in a moment of weakness.
     
  19. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    2,518
    Likes Received:
    9

    Oct 13, 2008

    Yes, good for you and stay strong! One good thing about getting older :p is you gain wisdom and can look back and see patterns in human nature. This guy sounds like a classic case of "wants what he can't have." Isn't it funny how you became so much more interesting to him now you don't want him? Now that you called him on his bluff and blew his mind?? Stay strong! He is going to need a lot of counseling to change, as this is his pattern.

    Meanwhile, good for you again! Keep working hard and - are you open to dating casually if yu meet anice guy??????
     
  20. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2007
    Messages:
    2,007
    Likes Received:
    12

    Oct 13, 2008

    You go girl
    Don't let him buy your affection with "Cheap" gifts
    He knows where you live now? Hmmmmmm
    Now I'll leave you with a song

    Hit the road, Jack, and don't you come back
    No more. No more. No more. No more.
    Hit the road, Jack, and don't you come back no more

    Woman, oh, woman don't you treat me so mean
    Your the meanest old woman that I've ever seen
    But I guess if you say so
    I have to pack my bags and go


    That's right!
    Hit the road, Jack, and don't you come back
    No more. No more. No more. No more.
    Hit the road, Jack, and don't you come back no more


    Baby. Listen, baby, don't you treat me this way
    'Cause I'll be back on me feet someday

    Don't care if you do 'cause it's understood
    You ain't got no money. You just ain't no good

    Well, I guess if you say so
    I have to pack my bags and go

    That's right!

    Hit the road, Jack, and don't you come back
    No more. No more. No more. No more.
    Hit the road, Jack, and don't you come back no more



    :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
    Thank you Thank you Thank you very much
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. readwithme,
  2. ready2learn,
  3. waterfall
Total: 367 (members: 10, guests: 316, robots: 41)
test