I'm so upset I can't stop crying

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by elizak83, Aug 5, 2008.

  1. Mrs. K.

    Mrs. K. Enthusiast

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    Aug 24, 2008

    But aren't you lucky you didn't marry him?

    And you didn't waste three years. You had a relationship, and it turns out you're much more mature than him. Don't we always tell our students that everything in life is a learning experience?

    I'm not making light of your pain, but you can see that everyone here thinks you deserve much, much more. :hugs:
     
  2. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Aug 24, 2008

    Don't think of it that way. Think of it as 3 years spent learning what not to do. I'm sure you had many happy times during that three years. You had experiences that you will look back on with fondness (even if the guy gets blotted out of the memories). You've spent those three years finishing your education and getting a job. That's for sure not a waste of time.

    Every person we meet has something to offer us, wether positive or negative. You've grown and matured along side, through, and even in spite of, this man. You've grown as a person during that three years, and nobody can ever take that from you.

    Just be glad that he finally showed his true colors before the wedding. A divorce is MUCH nastier than a break up.
     
  3. MissWull

    MissWull Cohort

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    Aug 24, 2008

    Rent a moving truck! Ask neighbors or relatives to help you load and un-load the furniture. Do not rely on him at all, he's already proven to you that he's unreliable.
     
  4. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Aug 24, 2008

    What a smart ass, twisted SOB! He breaks your heart 1 wk ago & now he's trying to be smart & say, "Ok, come on now, it's time to date someone else now, chop, chop!"

    It's a shame you have to give him any rent money.

    If I were you, I'd have 0 respect for this guy. I'd be so disgusted by him, I wouldn't want to see his face ever again.
     
  5. Weazy

    Weazy Comrade

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    Aug 25, 2008

    After what he did to you, if he was one ounce of a man, he would tell you not to worry about the rent. What a jacka$$!!!!
     
  6. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Aug 25, 2008

    I would not be leaving my stuff at his house. I did that and I never saw it again. It burnt in a fire (he says). YEAH RIGHT I say.

    Rent a storage unit for a month be the same as paying him rent.
     
  7. Weazy

    Weazy Comrade

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    Aug 25, 2008

    I agree. Get your stuff out and put it in a storage unit for a month. It is better than paying Jason rent! (Jason is his name, right?) I still say, change your phone number and let him come home and find it empty. Don't tell hime that you are gone, because he doesn't deserve any courtesy on your behalf.
     
  8. Ghost

    Ghost Habitué

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    Aug 25, 2008

    I'd have the locks changed too while he's gone, take my stuff and leave the keys in the mailbox....but then I can be a vindictive "bech"
     
  9. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    Aug 25, 2008

    He's wanting you to pay rent to help him out..... NOT! Rent a storage compartment for a month for 30 bucks or whatever!!!
     
  10. brandi0718

    brandi0718 Comrade

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    Aug 25, 2008

    Be glad it happened this way...I had been dating a guy for a few years and we were engaged and one day he decided he wanted to break up.....I was sooooooo upset! I begged for him not to and so we continued dating.....a few months later we were married.....ONE WEEK after our wedding i find out he cheated on me!!!!!!! He cheated on me right before our wedding AND right after while i stayed at home with HIS kids!!!!! I was in such shock.....we are still together but it is soooooooo hard to get past that kind of stuff......I reallllllly wanna kick myself for not letting him break up with me to begin with. So just be very thankful this happened now and not after u were married!
     
  11. Mrs.Mom

    Mrs.Mom Companion

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    Aug 25, 2008

    Don't look at it as a waste, look at it as a learning experience :) Hard to do, I know, but just be happy you haven't "wasted" the rest of your life with such a jerk!!! :p
     
  12. dragonfly05

    dragonfly05 Companion

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    Aug 25, 2008

    Exactly! My SIL was with her ex-fiance for NINE years and engaged for one year when he broke up with her over the phone. She later found out he had been cheating for years. She is now very happy, married and has an adorable little girl. Everything happens for a reason and you would not be who you are today had you not gone through all you have. (at least that is my belief) ;)
     
  13. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Yes, it can be a lot worse. The mother of a long-time friend of my mom's was married for numerous, numerous yrs & after the husband finally died at a rather old age, things came out of the woodwork & she found out he had been seeing another woman for numoerous yrs. She found out when all these bills she knew nothing about came to her address all of a sudden!
     
  14. Sunny Teacher

    Sunny Teacher Rookie

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    Aug 27, 2008

    Just want to chime in. My boyfriend of two years and I broke up He cheated on me with a girl I work with. Talk about a SCUM BAG. This thread is helping me so much. At first I was being irrational and begging for him back but now I'm being a strong person and shutting the door and moving on with my life.

    Right now I'm caught in the pain..but I know in my heart that eventually I will be happy and better off without him. How are you doing? Are things looking up? I know I need to be positive too so maybe we can keep this going for support because all I want to do right now is cry.
     
  15. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Aug 27, 2008

    Hey Sunny Teacher
    Arizona teachers are strong
    Anyone who can teach where it is 110° the day school starts has to be strong!


     
  16. Sunny Teacher

    Sunny Teacher Rookie

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    Aug 27, 2008

    Haha! I'm not quite a teacher yet. I'm in my last year at the U of A right now...but I do plan on teaching here...and you're right, it's hot!
     
  17. BioAngel

    BioAngel Science Teacher - Grades 3-6

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    Aug 28, 2008

    I think we should keep this thread going for support of those who have been hurt like this :)

    I also think we should start a "why are guys such scum bags!?!" thread :p jk... (i think)

    Don't worry Ladies, as you have heard from others, THERE IS HOPE!!! It took me to have three horrible (aka abusive) relationships to finally find my knight in shining armor. Seriously God sent a Saint to me just when I needed it.

    So don't give up--- even though you know that you don't HAVE to have a man to be happy in life.

    [And should anybody wish to speak to a Lady who's gone through abusive relationships, please feel free to pm me. I'm a private person so I don't like sharing in threads, though I'm more than willing to help.]
     
  18. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Aug 28, 2008

    go ahead make my day
    :p
     
  19. Sunny Teacher

    Sunny Teacher Rookie

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    Aug 28, 2008

    I'm going to try to carry a quote in my bag everyday so if I'm feeling down I can just look in my bag and hopefully not feel so sad. Today's quote is:
    Forget mistakes. Forget failure. Forget everything except what you are going to do now and do it. Today is your lucky today.
     
  20. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Aug 28, 2008

    Well y'all I've been out of town for awhile and I was amazed to catch up on this thread!

    elizak - you have grown a lot in the time I have been away! Good for you! Also, as more has come out about your bf, I see there are red flags still! He is yelling at you? He is dictating the day you can move out? He is living with another girl and still calling you? He is CHARGING YOU RENT????

    I DON'T THINK SO!

    Please, please get out of there. Take the advice. There is something odd going on. My gut is speaking to me. 1)get a storage unit, 2) get a uhaul or find someone with a truck - check with a nearby church -they often have a teen group that is looking for a service project just like helping someone move! 3)wait till you are sure he won't be there and get a few friends or your aunt and uncle and get everything out of there in an hour tops! Store your stuff till you get your own place.

    You had mentioned that he "goes out with friends" and stays with them or his mother. How long has that been going on? I too have the sense that the cheating has been going on for a while. There is nothing to support him as an honest person in any way. If you had not caught him on the phone, you would still be thinking he was your guy while he was sleeping with her!

    Take charge and get the heck out of there. You do not owe him ANY money honey. Please get out of there fast. You will feel a weight lifted off your shoulders once you do. I promise once you are out, you will have an easier time of it. He should not know where you live or have your phone number at all. Take total charge and make a clean break.

    I have to disagree with the advice to do anything to "show him." He is acting really weird and you need to make the clean break. He is getting paid back three fold because he chose a loser over you already! Let natural consequences take their due.

    All y'all - guys just think differently! Yes, he can love you one day and see someone he wants to sleep with the next and that is the end of it. That is just how it is. However, an honorable man who felt these things would treat you with respect either 1) break things off, then go after the girl or 2) keep the committment he has made and do without the other girl. There is no in between that is acceptable!

    Grrrr.
     

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