Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by elizak83, Aug 5, 2008.
Aug 19, 2008
What did I say about Revenge?
This is what my hubby and I like call "karma bitchslap". I read him the entry about the new gal and he agreed that it was a PRIME example.
WHY would he tell you things about her? UGH. What a creep.
Stick to your guns! Stay strong! Take solace in the fact that you are getting away from someone that would treat people like this.
I just snorted diet coke out my nose. I LOVE that term. I'm so stealing it from you.
Aug 20, 2008
Very comical! That's what he gets!
Aug 21, 2008
I am sorry also :::hugs ::: but you know as bad as this seems thank goodness you were not married or had children if he really is a committment phobic. This will probably sound like tough love but better to have found out now than waste any more time on this guy. Sometimes things just don't work out and you have to have a good cry get angry realise they were not worth it and move on......and I think he sounds like a total jerk....why would anyone not invest in trying to talk even if it is only to help you get closure ....
OMG...quit talking to him!
Instead put on your little black dress, heels, big hair, and leave for a super long time. If you have no where to go, go shopping of of town, catch 2 movies, attend a ball game, work in your classroom, anything. You could have a change of clothes in the car and slip back into it after the evening.
Wow he knows how to pick them (he truly lost his princess when he gave you up). Revenge is sweet--- I've had the same situation a few times.
It does sound like he is the one with some issues. I went through something similar last year and I am grateful I'm not with him anymore. I thought things would never get better but they did. I learned so much about myself and have been so much more independent. Like others said, focus on things that will make you happy (hobbies, exercising, etc.) and take care of yourself. Good luck!
Aug 22, 2008
How are you doing?
I'm "ok" today.....better than I was last week...but still crappy.
He has been making it hard on me to be here and evidently he is still hanging out w/ the chick that got arrested (haha..) He has days where he'll call me and yell about how we never should have ever dated and others where he calls and asks me not to move out. (I have started to not answer my phone )
Oh, ugh. Not only is he keeping his options open in case one or both of you get wise, he's controlling your life by curbing your phone habits. If it's your cell phone he's calling, can you block his number? If not, can you "mistake" his voice for some other random male name?
I take issue with the fact that he "yells" about how you two should of have dated. Is it safe to stay there until October? He sounds like he might be a bit unstable. Should you consider moving in with your relatives until you can move into your own apartment? Have you spoken with his parents? What do they think of all of this? Hopefully they understand why you are leaving and support you in your decision. They need to get their son some help.
Like I said before--it sounds like you are getting stronger everyday. yes, I;m sure it is still very hard, but I am sure you are starting to see that you are better off. Who wants to be saddled with someone who doesn't want to commit, but expects YOU to commit? Kudos to you!!! Continue to NOT answer your phone if he is is showing signs of instability.
I agree with weazy...he sounds like he's starting to become a little unhinged. He's discovered you're a strong woman who won't be controlled and he's not happy with that...I'd start looking into a temporary crash pad until october. You can put most of your stuff in storage if you have to. Heck, If I was there, I'd put my boys in one room and give you one of their bedrooms.
Aug 23, 2008
elizak83: I'm sorry you've had to go through this, you sound like a very nice person. However, allow this to strengthen you and give you wisdom. Also, as many have said already, drop this guy like a bad habit TODAY. Stop talking to him. He sounds very unstable, and you don't want to deal with somebody like that. Think of your safety and your sanity. He is dead to you. Go to the "funeral", put a nice big fat flower on the "casket",say your goodbyes, eat some cake and MOVE ON SISTER! Excuse the bluntness, but I see it now YOU have the power as you always have, to turn this into a positive for you. I sure as heck wouldn't allow this man to yell at me about ANYTHING. He can yell at himself, or a good therapist. This will make you stronger, and more confident in the future. It just hurts like crazy right now. Everyone on here has given you excellent advice, now you just have to put it into practice.
Well the thing is... I have been through the same experience. I lived in PA with someone and thought we were going to be together for the rest of our lives.. He broke up with me telling me he never loved me and that he would absolutely never marry me!! It was probably the hardest thing I have ever been through. All of my family lived in KY and I had no one to talk to.. I picked up the phone and called a co-worker..unprofessional maybe.. but the heartache of being completely alone was not worth being professional. I had talked to her a few times and had even gone to lunch so I am sure it was okay! She totally took me under her wing and was there for me the whole time.
Secondly, if you can get out of there go home to family start over that is the best thing I ever did! I in fact met my future husband upon returning..of course it was a year later
Definitely get more info from him so that you can have closure and then get far away.. If you need someone to talk to feel free to email me!:sorry:
Aug 24, 2008
Some days are better than others...I'm doing well...but I keep dwelling on the situation (which my Mom tells me to stop doing.)
I guess if it was a "normal" break up I could handle it a ton better....
but the fact that a few weeks ago everything was fine and all of a sudden it seems like he's throwing me out like garbage for someone new. (Like...how do you date someone for 3 years and just stop thinking about them???? It's driving me nuts.)
He has stayed at this "new girls" house all week long.....starting the day after we officially broke up. That's what hurts
Still living together is what has to be the hardest to get by. Knowing when he's home and when he's not, and wondering where he is when he's not home. It's all natural, yet when you're not living with him you won't be faced with that situation. You should definitely leave as soon as possible. Did you say there was a place for you to go Sept. 1st? If so, only another week to go. If not, you should definitely move in with your family that is in the area.
I am moving out soon....Jason is not making it easy on me though (he doesn't want me to move out till oct. 1)
Even living together wouldn't bother me as much if he didn't already have a new gf.....I don't get how I'm a wreck but he's having the time of his life. Evidently I loved him more than he loved me.
Oh wow, I really hope you aren't staying until October...that is just way too long. And I'm sorry but that boy should have absolutely no say in what you do, he is doing his own thing now and he should let you do yours!
I understand what you mean about living together and him having his new gf...but the fact remains that it is just an unhealthy situation for you. He seems to have moved on for the time being...although him still hanging on to you a bit seems to be a little unstable on his part as well.
You definitely just need to get out of that situation and start surrounding yourself with new friends and positive people/situations. Easier said than done, I know...but it will come eventually and most likely be the best medicine for your heart.
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