I’ve been teaching for 12 years and I still struggle with this...

Discussion in 'General Education' started by minnie, Jun 20, 2018.

  1. minnie

    minnie Cohort

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2007
    Messages:
    742
    Likes Received:
    41

    Jun 20, 2018

    I know that school is over for a lot of you but I am teaching summer school. A few times, I would have a student come up and say “Johnny pushed me down.” And Johnny would say, “No, I didn’t.” They both act sincere. Obviously one is lying. I hate to say, “well, I didn’t see it so...” What do you do when this happens and there are no witnesses?
     
  2.  
  3. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2012
    Messages:
    3,332
    Likes Received:
    1,283

    Jun 20, 2018

    I move past the incident (so long as no one is severely injured). I then have the students engage in a peace talk using I-statements. I basically facilitate a brief conversation between them about how they felt about what led up to the incident and what they need from each other in order to get along in the future. Finally, I point out that everyone is okay and has shared their feelings and needs, so it's okay to move on. No one ends up "in trouble" and both students leave having learned how to resolve a disagreement.
     
  4. Been There

    Been There Habitué

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2017
    Messages:
    849
    Likes Received:
    514

    Jun 21, 2018

    Sometimes it can be helpful to seek advice from experts outside of education. Here's an article written by a leading parenting expert that may be applicable to your situation. Alyson Schafer's website includes some relevant videos like this one.
     
  5. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2016
    Messages:
    2,407
    Likes Received:
    1,180

    Jun 21, 2018

    ,
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2019
    cocobean and ecteach like this.
  6. miss-m

    miss-m Devotee

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2014
    Messages:
    1,010
    Likes Received:
    438

    Jun 21, 2018

    If it’s a more serious incident (I had a student last year who, for GOD ONLY KNOWS what reason, poked/stabbed another student with a pencil. They told me different stories and my students know I do NOT tolerate lying, so I told them “you’re telling me different stories. I need you to sit and figure out what the truth is.” And then I walked away. I actually have really good success with this, and the truth does come out fairly quickly so we can all move on.
    (Stabby student told me the other student asked them to stab their hand with a pencil. I’m pretty sure my reaction was “why on earth would someone ask you to stab them with a pencil?” Second graders.)
     
  7. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2014
    Messages:
    3,809
    Likes Received:
    1,051

    Jun 21, 2018

    Yay, I LOVE Judge Judy!
     
    Leaborb192 likes this.
  8. Leaborb192

    Leaborb192 Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2016
    Messages:
    2,407
    Likes Received:
    1,180

    Jun 21, 2018

    ,
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2019
    futuremathsprof likes this.
  9. readingrules12

    readingrules12 Fanatic

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2010
    Messages:
    2,989
    Likes Received:
    428

    Jun 21, 2018

    While students can be "clever" liars in a sentence or two, most aren't very good at it if they have to tell the whole story. Depending on the situation, I will ask them to tell me one on one their whole version of the story of what happened. I will also ask if anyone else saw what happened. Then I interview that person. Usually the truth comes closer to the surface with further investigation.
     
  10. bella84

    bella84 Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2012
    Messages:
    3,332
    Likes Received:
    1,283

    Jun 21, 2018

    This is what I do if someone is actually hurt. But I usually don’t want to drag it out as long as an investigation takes, if I don’t need to. This is such a frequent occurrence that it is all I would do if I investigated every incident.
     
  11. minnie

    minnie Cohort

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2007
    Messages:
    742
    Likes Received:
    41

    Jun 22, 2018

    Thanks! I liked how the article is showing how to teach kids to speak up and to verbalize that they don’t like something instead of running to the teacher for every little problem. This group that I have this summer is the biggest group of tattlers. They cannot solve their own problem. They are a group of 2nd grade boys who are very competitive with each other.

    In regards to the video, I read that book to my kinder students (I’m a k teacher during the school year) and it really makes a difference!
     
  12. minnie

    minnie Cohort

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2007
    Messages:
    742
    Likes Received:
    41

    Jun 22, 2018

    I agree. Most kids just want their voices to be heard. But...they want their voices to be heard all. The. Time.

    I also hate the game Four Square. Our school is really into this ball game. I try to watch the game during recess the best I can but the one time I don’t, a students will come up and say “He said I’m out but my ball didn’t hit the line.” And the other student will say, “yes it did!” Ugh. So, I finally started to do this: “Ok everybody ( all the kids playing the game), raise your hand if Johnny is still in the game? Ok, now raise your hand if you think Johnny is out and has to get back in line?” Then we take a vote. I know it sounds ridiculous but it works. Even though Johnny is mumbling complaints under his breath.
     
  13. minnie

    minnie Cohort

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2007
    Messages:
    742
    Likes Received:
    41

    Jun 22, 2018

    Thank you everyone for the great advice!!
     
  14. Been There

    Been There Habitué

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2017
    Messages:
    849
    Likes Received:
    514

    Jun 22, 2018

    Glad to be of help! Good teaching and parenting skills have a lot in common.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. Kelster95,
  2. bella84
Total: 545 (members: 4, guests: 513, robots: 28)
test